Weed Feed
Jul
7
Summer Solstice
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Peace & Happiness | 1 Comment
Well it’s July, and I couldn’t be happier about it. If you’ve been following my posts in June, you know it’s always a rough month for me. Every June I’m coming down after a crazy spring semester of speaking, plus it’s emotionally heavy being the death anniversary of Shannon, and also her birthday. But you gotta love the universe, because it gives you what you need to hear. Today I met a woman named Mia, who is a gorgeous, successful entrepreneur here in Denver. We were talking about my difficulties in June and she told me that June 21st was the summer solstice, and is apparently the longest day of the year and widely celebrated around the globe. It’s also Shannon’s birthday. I researched it on the internet, and many religions celebrate June 21st as the “wedding of Heaven and Earth” resulting in the present day belief of a “lucky” wedding in June. I find this so interesting, because Girls Fight Back has always been a merging of heaven and earth, and I’ve often referred to Shannon as my boss, crackin’ the whip from above…
I think it’s okay for us to sometimes just walk away for a bit, fall apart for awhile if need be, and come back stronger and smarter and more determined than ever to live an incredible life. That’s where I’m at today, and I have arrived here largely through gratitude. I’ve been thinking about the incredible people, opportunities and experiences I’ve been given in my life. My family, for starters…really, I couldn’t be more blessed on that front. To have people who have believed in me and propped me up, especially my husband Peter Lacis @peterlacis. In general, I marvel at the incredible men that have graced my 32 years on this earth. Health is our greatest gift as humans, and it’s something that my family and I have enjoyed. (I send strong vibes to many friends of mine who are dealing with health challenges right now, or who have lost a loved one.) And children! How grateful I am for my 10-month-old son Miles. He’s given me the gift of seeing the world through an entirely new set of eyes. Miles laughs insanely at my pug’s face sometimes. And then you look at the pug and realize, “My God, you’re right! She’s the funniest looking creature in the world!” And I laugh with him.
I am also so grateful for my team @girlsfightback. The past 12 months of growth and expansion have been the most terrifying and most inspiring times…sometimes I feel both in the same day. Recently I looked around and realized Girls Fight Back has become what it was intended…to be much bigger than Shannon and WAY bigger than me. We are celebrating this fact by launching a new website soon. And guess what? If you’ve never seen the Girls Fight Back program, soon you can watch it. For free. Online. All 100 minutes of it. Then hopefully you’ll send the link to all your friends. Some of my business comrades think I’m nuts to “give it away” but isn’t that why we are here? To help each other? Why withhold that? (I’m grateful to my friend David Meerman Scott @dmscott for inspiring this.) I hope watching the program online energizes someone to be strong when they feel weak, to stand up when they just want to shrink, or to change the world when it would be so much easier just to stick with the status quo.
My friends, life is good. We are here for a reason. You are loved.
Thank you for your support and may every day be your solstice.
Jun
21
Happy Birthday Shannon
Filed Under Girls Fight Back! | Leave a Comment
Every year, Sharon Rickerson (dear friend of the McNamara family) writes a beautiful piece on Shannon’s birthday. See below – it’s lovely, as always. Thanks for all you do Sharon, to make this day a little less bitter and more sweet.
Shannon Elizabeth McNamara
June 21, 1979 – Forever
Her name has an Irish wholesome, athletic sound. And she was like her name. Grand like the river that flows through the Emerald Isle. Natural, inspiring and beautiful! Shannon means Wise One, and she truly was. The Bible says wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. That was Shannon. She was a quiet leader, highly esteemed among her peers. Her life lived well enthused others and it still does today. It was her mother’s prayer when she left our world that she would never be forgotten. And that prayer was answered even before she was born. When Shannon was knit together in her mother’s womb God made an absolutely unforgettable person. Her loving heart, her beautiful face and the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed remain etched in our memories.
It was her exuberant love of life as well as her fight to live that inspired friend and sorority sister, Erin Weed in a mission to educate and empower women of all ages in personal safety and self-defense. We take great take comfort in knowing that Shannon’s untimely death was not in vain. Shannon’s fight was carried on by Erin who became the founder/CEO of Girls Fight Back (GFB). GFB seminars are attended by over 100,000 women annually in schools, colleges, corporations and women’s groups around the world. Shannon would be so humbled and grateful to Erin for pursuing such a noble cause in her honor. God alone knows all the ensuing good as He continues to bless Girls Fight Back, memorial scholarships and events established in her memory.
Shannon is as deeply loved and always remembered by her parents, her brother, her family and countless friends. And we cherish the memory of her heart felt love for us! Happy Birthday Shan!
The memory of the righteous will be a blessing. -Proverbs 10:7
Jun
18
Get Your Peace Back – Part 2
Filed Under Peace & Happiness, Video | 1 Comment
Jun
11
Get Your Peace Back – Part 1
Filed Under Random | 3 Comments
Apr
24
YNPN & Women’s Funding Network conferences
Filed Under Social Entrepreneurship, Women's Issues | Leave a Comment
After a nutty week of travel to Florida, Illinois and Indiana, yesterday I took a crack ‘o dawn flight back to Denver to attend some important conferences. Yesterday was the Young Nonprofit Professionals Network (@YNPN) conference, which brought together social entrepreneurs from across the USA to talk about strategy, progress and change. There were some awesome workshops, and I was especially moved by the lunchtime keynote given by Robert Eggers, founder of DC Central Kitchen. He was so smart, so excited, so fond of young people. He believes we can – no we MUST – lead the charge for social enterprise in the U.S. and abroad. Robert’s awesome non-profit combines several major areas of social innovation into one kick-ass organization including helping the homeless, food recycling, job training and empowering young people. (Read more about DC Central Kitchen here.) After he was done speaking, I kinda wanted to kidnap him for the weekend and ask him ten million questions, because his fresh take on banding together and working efficiently spoke volumes to me. (Don’t worry – he’s not in my trunk.)
Last night I could barely sleep with all these new and innovative ideas swirling about. Today at 7am I awoke bright-eyed (or more like puffy-eyed) and ready to volunteer at the Women’s Funding Network conference. Women from all over the WORLD came to this weekend gathering to discuss necessary measures to get money into projects and non-profits that will advance women’s safety, economic stability and overall gender equality. Being in a room with so many people from around the globe is intoxicating in it’s ability to make you think bigger and wider…
For me, the highlight of today was listening to one of my personal heroines speak, named Zainab Salbi (@zainabsalbi). She is the Founder/CEO of Women for Women International which is a non-profit that helps women who have been affected by war, in rebuilding their lives. They have programs active in Iraq, Democratic Republic of the Congo and Afghanistan just to name a few. Zainab was incredibly inspiring, and spoke of the need to affect a woman’s economic status, the imperative of working with MEN to help women and collaborating with others to make change. Afterward I bought one of her books, and met Zainab during the book signing. She was kind enough to answer some of my questions about teaching self-defense to women in war-torn regions of the world. I asked her if she believed it was something we should investigate as Girls Fight Back begins talking to major funders about expanding outside the USA. Smiling energetically, she responded, “Why not?!”
Do you have a big idea that could change the world? What’s holding you back? I say do it.
After all…why not?
Apr
6
How to start a movement
Filed Under Social Entrepreneurship | 1 Comment
Apr
5
Does self-defense work?
Filed Under Safety & Self-Defense | 2 Comments
Most people don’t ask me this question outright, but I know they are thinking it: Does self-defense really work?
That’s like asking the Sham-Wow guy if his towel really holds 12 times its weight in liquid, right? Hey, I welcome the believers and doubters alike, and I have more to offer you than my belief in the effectiveness of self-protection measures. But first, let’s figure out why it’s so hard to believe a woman can fight back and win.
I believe that doubt over the effectiveness of self-defense comes from a few places. First, many women feel insecure about their ability to fight back, simply because they have never received any training. This is why we need to make self-defense training more available to all women, and introduce it earlier in life. Second, bad advice like “fighting back will only make him mad” seems to permeate trickle-down wisdom through generations. This advice is not only inaccurate, but also dangerous.
The NIJ (National Institute of Justice) commissioned a study in 2005 called The Impact of Victim Self Protection on Rape Completion and Injury, authored by Gary Kleck and Jongyeon Tark. Click here to read the entire 77 page study, or just read the highlights below.
- Potential victims who resisted their attackers, either physically and verbally, decreased the odds of being raped.
- Fighting back does not mean a woman is more likely to be injured.
- Self-defense significantly reduces the chances of being raped.
- Certain self-defense techniques reduce the risk of rape more than 80 percent compared to doing nothing.
- According to victims, the most effective ways to fight back include: attacking or struggling against their attacker, running away, and verbally warning the attacker.
- If your idea of self-defense is stalling, cooperating or screaming from pain or fear – these approaches actually increase your risk of injury. So if you’re going to protect yourself, it’s gotta be forceful and strong!
Kinda makes you re-think just how dangerous you can be with even simple self-protection measures! If you’ve been putting off learning self-defense, don’t delay any longer. Click here to read about some of my favorite self-defense programs who offer classes in cities across the USA.
Mar
31
Phoebe Prince
Filed Under Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 4 Comments
I’ve been tracking the story of Phoebe Prince in the news, and am beyond saddened of her suicide. She was the focal point of brutal bullying and manipulation, and took her own life in response. Likely believing there was no other way out, her death was also her solution.
We owe our children better strategies to help them cope.
Don’t believe for a moment that Phoebe was the only girl in this country being ostracized and socially tortured. Countless young people endure this every day. The difference is, most kids don’t kill themselves. Which brings me to the question…
Why do people have to die before we respond to situations like these?
I’m encouraged by the 41 states that passed legislation addressing the problem of bullying in America. According to Stop Bullying Now, as of 2009 the 9 states listed below have not. Shame on them:
Alabama
District of Columbia
Hawaii
Massachusetts
Michigan
Mississippi
Montana
North Dakota
South Dakota
Wisconsin
Whether you’re an adult, a parent, a child or a teen – there are effective strategies to tackle this issue. If you’re a concerned adult, get educated. E-mail your state representative. Click here to learn more ideas of what adults can do.
If you are being bullied, please don’t take the same path as Phoebe. You are not alone. And there are people who will help you. Click here to learn what kids can do.
Mar
26
Watch HubSpot TV today!
Filed Under Random | Leave a Comment
Wow, I have so much to update you all on from my crazy travels and inspiring speaking engagements throughout March. I’m actually making a pretty little slideshow with all my photos from the cool things I saw and the amazing people I met this month. Stay tuned!
If you’d like to see me LIVE from Cambridge TODAY on HubSpot TV, please click the link below at 4pm EST. I’ll be talking about Girls Fight Back, and how we have leveraged social media and our website/blog to reach people with our message that women are worth fighting for!
If you’re on Twitter, feel free to interact with us live by using the hashtag #hubspotTV. And in case you aren’t following me and GFB already on Twitter, my handle is @erinweed and GFB’s is @girlsfightback. Let’s get this safety and self-defense crusade more widely supported by embracing the digital teddy bear, shall we?
Mar
10
Yesterday I spoke in beautiful Madison, WI to a room full of students and campus police. It was a lunchtime event, and let me tell you – nothing goes better with a sandwich than a good ol’ can o’ whoop-ass. And whoop we did. My scary bad guy, Evan, was a gentle soul who didn’t quite know the “right way” to mock attack me on stage. Fear not, Evan…I actually find it quite refreshing when men aren’t skilled at the predatory take-down. Big thanks to Cherry and the entire PAC for organizing and publicizing the event for so many weeks!
Feb
21
AFLV and NACA
Filed Under Public Speaking, Random, Social Entrepreneurship | Leave a Comment
Last week was wild, and I’m just now recovering. First learning point: I can’t run around the the country like I used to! My journey began in St. Louis at the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values conference, where I was asked to give our new Greeks Fight Back program to fraternity and sorority leaders. It was late on the first day of their arrival, so everyone was a little tired. But it’s amazing how much people perk up when you start throwin’ eye jabs.
While I was at AFLV, I saw some awesome people and good friends. I was especially excited to spend some quality time with my friend and creator of Response Ability, Mike Dilbeck. Response Ability is an exciting new program that addresses bystander behavior of college students. I think his message is incredibly important because it affects most problems facing our campus communities today from drinking to violence to eating disorders. It’s so easy to say “It’s none of my business” and not get involved…Mike challenges that and I really admire the film he produced, and the movement he started as a result of it.
I left St. Louey and flapped my wings to Boston for a big conference I’ve been looking forward to for a very long time. It was the annual convention of the National Association of Campus Activities, and this year I was selected for the lecture showcase. Now I’m not sure how many hundreds or thousands of speakers apply for the 14 coveted slots. All I can tell you is that when I got the news last Fall that I’d been chosen, I was driving and had to pull over on the side of the highway because I was doing the happy-shreik-cry-scream-hyperventilate thing…and it just wasn’t safe for me to be operating a vehicle at that time. So needless to say, this was a big deal and a huge honor. *bow*
NACA is the most glorious little fun-land, time-warp, freak-show circus with some of the most interesting and inspiring people. Case in point, the Lectures Showcase I was part of on Monday morning. Here was the line-up, each of us having 15 minutes to present our program’s most interesting highlights. (Which by the way, is the absolute hardest thing for a speaker to do…especially those of us accustomed to having 90 minutes to yap our trap!) First up was Teri Nicolai, a victim of domestic violence whose ex-husband kidnapped her, sealed her inside a garbage can partially packed with snow and left her in an unheated storage unit. Her miraculous story of survival and strength was so inspiring. Next was Dan Clark, who you may better recognize as “Nitro” from American Gladiators. One of my childhood heroes, me and Nitro became buddies and I’m hoping one day to jaust him. (He was undefeated on the show in this event.) I spoke after Nitro – and what a rush! Over a thousand people in attendance, and so little time – a no-fail formula for sweaty pits. After me, Blake Mycoskie spoke. He’s the founder of Tom’s Shoes and in my opinion, one of the greatest social entrepreneurs of all time! For each pair of Tom’s Shoes you buy, the company donates a pair to a child in need. Genius. After Blake, my dear friends Shawn Decker and Gwenn Barringer took the mic, speaking about their marriage (and sex life) with Shawn being HIV positive (or as he calls it, being a “positoid”) and Gwenn being HIV negative. If you want to read one of the greatest books ever, check out My Pet Virus – written by Shawn. Memoirs about growing up with HIV are not normally described as “hilarious,” this one is. Read it and get ready to pee your pants.
Anyway, there were more speakers but I’ll stop there. You see what I mean – just awesome, inspiring people with messages that can really make this world a better place. It was an honor to be part of it. I was in Boston for about 5 days total, having a blast and working the Girls Fight Back booth along with GFB speaker, Megan. The final night, Megan and I took a picture with another childhood hero of mine, Dennis Haskins – better known as Mr. Belding from “Saved by the Bell.” Way to end this conference on a high note…thumbs up all around!
Feb
2
Big Hairy Scary Things
Filed Under Peace & Happiness, Random | 4 Comments
Each year, I try to do something that scares me – I call it a “Big Hairy Scary Thing.” (BHST) Now I’m not talking about “haunted house” or “Brazilian wax” sort of scary. It’s got to be something that actually makes you better, helps overcome a limiting belief or teaches you something from the experience. While writing this post, I realized I’ve been doing this for ten years now – ever since graduating college. Here is a concise list of the past 10 years of my self-inflicted terror:
2000 – Moved from the cozy confines of my parents’ house in Chicago to Hoboken, NJ. Got a job working in broadcasting in New York City. Moved in with my boyfriend and horrified my God-lovin’ mother by doing so. Learned that you reach an age where your parents actually don’t know best anymore, as much as they’d like to disagree. (I love you Mom!)
2001 – Fear pretty much summed up the year 2001, and my BHST was to learn to fight with some of the best self-defense experts in the world. Shannon McNamara was murdered in June, followed by the fall of the Twin Towers that September. I commuted into the World Trade Center every day at the time, and fate made me late for work that day. I learned to grieve, to feel fear, and to not be paralyzed by it.
2002 – Quit my job at Miramax Films. Decided to officially incorporate Girls Fight Back, and begin speaking professionally as a full-time career. Learned that starting a business is one of the biggest, hairiest things a person can do! Also learned that most people fear public speaking more than death itself, but thankfully that was not the case for me. Otherwise 2002 would have brought a lot more pit stains.
2003 – Did a national TV appearance, in front of a live studio audience. I was a guest on the John Walsh Show on NBC (watch it here), and almost peed my pants. Did a few more interviews in 2003. Learned that sometimes big, hairy, scary things tend to become less intimidating the more you face them. In 2003 I also faced Shannon’s murderer in a 2-week murder trial. It still reigns as the worst two weeks of my life. I learned the incredible power of friends and family who rally around a loved one…even when that loved one is gone.
2004 – Got married. (Not so scary – but certainly significant.) Was offered a book deal with a top publisher in New York. Decided to walk away from it, since the terms gave me no control of final edits (including Shannon’s story). Then got sued by my book agent for a multitude of long-winded reasons. After settling, decided to give the middle finger to the book publishing industry and self-published instead. Learned that sometimes, you just gotta do things yourself. (Except when it comes to contracts – always have a lawyer look at those.) Also learned how lucky I was (still am) to have a partner so supportive of my mission. Surround yourself with people who believe in you!
2005 – Wrote my book: Girls Fight Back! The College Girl’s Guide to Protecting Herself. It was a new, second version that was totally on my own terms. For ADHD people like myself, this is beyond big, hairy and scary! I set a deadline of Cinco de Mayo, and rewarded myself with a top shelf margarita when I accomplished it. I learned that trusting intuition (even when it leads you down a more difficult path) is the best advice I’ve ever given or taken. I also learned how motivated I can become when a margarita is at stake.
2006 – Opened New Jersey’s first women’s self-defense school in Hoboken. Released my book. Lived on airplanes. Did more speaking events than I thought possible for a human being. Learned I took on too much, and that I’m a serial over-committer. Also learned how to do yoga and meditation in an attempt to hold it all together. Sadly, I learned that I’m not a gifted yogi or zen meditation guru. I still struggle with over-commitment and breathing in general…
2007 – Closed the self-defense school and my husband quit his job. We moved to Colorado just because we love it here. I learned that driving 1,800 miles behind a Penske truck that maxes out at 59 mph really sucks. Hubby learned that actually driving said truck sucks much worse.
2008 – We decided to start a family. Got pregnant. Miscarried. Got pregnant again. Learned we are really not in control, and sometimes you have to believe in something bigger than your day planner.
2009 – ‘Twas the year of replication! Found and trained a team of speakers to give the Girls Fight Back seminar. Learned that if you build it, they will come – and often times they will surprise you with their awesomeness. Also had our first baby, a boy named Miles. Learned that natural childbirth hurts…a lot. (Read my Birth Story here) But also acquired a new respect for the female body and spirit. I learned to love deeper, have patience and be productive on just 3 hours of sleep.
So what’s on deck for this year? After watching Drew Barrymore’s directing debut of “Whip It” last week, I’m thinking Roller Derby. My name will be Weed Wacker.
What are your big hairy scary things this year?
Jan
31
Stalking Awareness Month
Filed Under Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 5 Comments
January is Stalking Awareness Month, and a great website with tools, quizzes and resources is now available if this is something you are dealing with. I especially love their guidelines on how to create a Safety Plan. Visit the website by clicking here – and help spread the word too! http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org
Stalking is downright scary, and I know this on a very personal level. It can make a person feel powerless, cause acute anxiety and feel totally out of control. Please understand that each situation is different, and you need specific management of your individual case before deciding on any one course of action. Reach out for help, and don’t deal with this on your own. Here are 5 ideas to get you started…
#1: Acknowledge the situation for what it is. Might sound easy, but many people who are being stalked refuse to accept that the word STALK is appropriate. According to Safe Horizon, New York law defines stalking as a pattern of intentional, repeated, and unwanted behavior causing a person to fear for his/her own safety. A stalker can be anyone – a stranger, a relative or anywhere in between.
#2: Know the law. To find out the exact definition of stalking and possible ways to respond, know the laws in your state. Visit the Stalking Resource Center at The National Center for Victims of Crime website by clicking here.
#3: Read a book called “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. By far, this is the best book I’ve read about intuition, de-escalating potentially violent scenarios and understanding the motives of people who pursue others inappropriately. Click here to buy it.
#4: Call the Stalking Hotline. Someone from Safe Horizon is available to speak with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call toll free: 866.689.HELP (4357). Check out their website by clicking here.
#5: Take a self-defense class. Hopefully the steps above prevent you from having to physically save yourself. However, the skills you learn in a good self-defense class are much bigger than learning to do an eye jab. Great classes will also teach you to recognize the signs of a violent person, how to use your intuition, ways to de-escalate bad situations and how to fight back if necessary. I especially recommend classes by IMPACT and FAST Defense.
I hope this helps…stay safe!
Jan
27
Flaky friends
Filed Under Random | 2 Comments
Do you have a flaky friend who is constantly re-scheduling a coffee date? Or a pal that seems to avoid making plans in the first place? Do you start finding yourself feeling bitter towards these people, or even talking smack about them to others because this hurts your feelings? In many of these instances, the outcome is not desirable. Maybe the smack-talkin’ gets back to the “disser” (person doing the dissing), or the “dissee” (person getting dissed) ends the relationship abruptly and (seemingly) for no good reason. Avoid writing off a friend that you truly care for, until you’ve tried setting a boundary first. The outcome may surprise you.
I’m finding the phenomenon of “flaky friends” is becoming more and more common, as our lives get busier, technology overwhelms us, work gets more demanding and we try to dissect this whacked concept of work/life balance. (Which by the way, I’m convinced is a total farce). Something’s gotta give. Especially for women, it can be hard to set clear boundaries about our expectations and desires in both personal and business relationships. I believe that many of us lack the basic skill of boundary setting, which leaves us feeling bitter and powerless. And it’s not surprising so many of us lack this skill, because for most people, we’ve never been taught to use clear communication! In many cases, we’ve been encouraged to do just the opposite.
Here are some tips on how to use verbal boundaries. Ideally these boundaries are set in person or over the phone, but they can be written as well. Just be VERY careful about the written boundaries, because without the tone or inflection of voice, words can be misinterpreted quite easily.
- #1: Have empathy. I believe most people want to do the right thing. Especially if this is a true friend, they don’t want to hurt you. Chances are they are totally overwhelmed, and they cancel on your because you’re the most likely person to forgive them.
- #2: Feel flattered. In many cases, people cancel or postpone because they want to give you QUALITY and undivided attention. Unfortunately in these busy times, finding that kind of time is rare, which leads to an endless string of postponements.
- #3: Be direct, yet compassionate. When it’s time to set a boundary, keep it short, sweet and direct. Express your feelings and appreciation and move on. But also have compassion for their busy situation. This compassion will surely be reflected right back at you.
- #4: Don’t guilt and use “I” statements. Using guilt to get anything is not only manipulative, there is no long term benefit for anyone. They may begrudgingly agree to your wants in the short term, but may also start to resent you. Using “I” statements instead of “You” accusations creates a non-threatening tone for the conversation.
- #5: Make lighthearted suggestions, not demands. People are very receptive to ideas when they are presented as something to think about, or as a reasonable change of course. Ultimatums don’t work among friends, because they are forced. And just because you’re setting a boundary doesn’t mean you have to be all scary and intense. Be able to laugh at your mutual inability to spend a little time together. Life can be ridiculous…and laughing at “life” takes away any feelings of blaming the other person. (Even if it’s blatantly their fault…you’re gonna need to let it go if the goal is to salvage the friendship.)
Example Conversation: Good friend keeps postponing that long overdue martini to catch up on life. Maybe you say…
“I know how busy you are. Frankly I don’t know how you have time to do it all! That said, every time we set a date and it gets cancelled at the last minute, it’s not a good use of everyone’s time. So I have an idea…let’s make a pact to be realistic with our time, and only schedule dates that we’re going to stick to, even if the house is burning down. Realistically, maybe that’s just once a year, but I’d rather our face time be less frequent if it means we both can really count on it. You are a person I truly want to spend time with, and life is too short to miss out on laughs with good friends! How does that sound to you? <THEY AGREE, IT SOUNDS GOOD> Oh, that works for you? Great! Well let’s look at our calendars and figure out a time to make this godforsaken martini happen already!” *laugh*
Try this with someone in your life – I’d love to hear your comments on how it went. Obviously there may be a million other reasons why someone might keep postponing on you, but this strategy usually works if the person is purely busy and disorganized. If they are actively trying to avoid you for some reason, that’s a whole other blog post. It also might be handled differently in a professional setting. That topic is coming soon. Running a company of 20 people (nearly all of them female) I think I have some good insights to share!
Jan
26
9th Annual Fundraiser in memory of Shannon McNamara
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Random | 1 Comment
The 9th Annual Girls Fight Back for Shannon Mac Fundraiser is officially announced, and we are very excited for it. This year all funds raised will be donated to a non-profit organization we are currently setting up called the Girls Fight Back Foundation. The Foundation is being created and run by our outstanding team of GFB Speakers: Jaime, Megan, Michaela and Heather. The focus of this organization will be to create a network of GFB Clubs at schools and colleges across the USA (and someday go global), which will promote women’s safety and self-defense education for young women. Here are the deets on the event:
What: Fundraiser for the Girls Fight Back Foundation
Host: Kate Lotz & Erin Weed
Start Time: Saturday, March 20 at 8:00pm
End Time: Saturday, March 20 at midnight
Where: Slugger’s (across from Wrigley Field)
3540 North Clark Street
Chicago, IL 60657
Cost: $30 which includes all well drinks, domestic beer, wine and soda
If you’re unable to attend, donations can be made to “Girls Fight Back Foundation” and mailed to:
Girls Fight Back!
4800 Baseline Rd.
Suite E104 #286
Boulder, CO 80303
We are seeking volunteers to help plan, promote & fundraise! Please email info@girlsfightback.com for details.
Jan
14
I’m Back…
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André Gide once said: “One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” I’ve been missing in action from my blog since the holidays, and I wish I could say it was because I was sipping margaritas somewhere in Tahiti. It’s not been a vacation by any means – in fact, my awesome team has been working around the clock, on holidays and jumping off cliffs at every turn for the sake of expanding the efforts of Fight Back Productions and Girls Fight Back.
We’ve barely scratched the surface in bringing personal safety and self-defense education to the world, and we know that 2010 holds very good things. It’s been a ton of work, and we’re not even close to finishing with our big plans…but it’s also been super inspiring to grow our team to 20 people and feel the new blood in our organizations.
I’ve been reflecting a lot about what my blog will focus on this year. Most certainly, it will continue to discuss topics relating to women’s empowerment and violence prevention. This year I also plan to take on topics relating to motherhood, and more posts about entrepreneurship. Lately I’ve been approached by many people for advice on strategic planning, getting started as a speaker or using the web to create change. I plan to post my ideas on these subjects as well. In the coming weeks I’ll be making some big and exciting announcements on this blog…stay tuned for a very exciting year.
Nov
30
I want to cry on Oprah’s couch
Filed Under Random | 7 Comments
Today I dropped off my child at daycare for the first time. Let me tell you, nothing is more embarrassing than a gaggle of happy infants staring at the 32-year-old crying lady…and the crying lady is YOU. I removed myself from the infant room, as to not embarrass my son.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” I bewildered. We toured every daycare place in a 20 mile radius, did background checks, grilled the school directors…and we found a place that we felt safe and that would take good care of our baby while we work. I am confident in our decision, so why does this feel so bad?
I think I finally understand all those sobbing women on Oprah episodes. Tired, frazzled and frustrated they can’t do it all, they end up running themselves into the ground. I always believed their woes seemed a little dramatic. I guess I thought I’d manage better. But there I was, sobbing in the infant classroom while Miles was happily meeting his new friends. Clearly I guessed wrong.
I had a realization as we drove away. My source of sadness this morning was not in leaving my child at a scary place (it’s a great daycare), or that he would be upset (he was having a blast). I was bummed I had to bring him to daycare in the first place, and sad that I can’t run a business AND be an incredible mom simultaneously. When I write that, it sounds ridiculous. Of course nobody can be a stellar entrepreneur and mom in the same moment! But in some strange way, that is what I expected from myself…and it seems this is something that many parents (not just moms) struggle with.
“We come into this world head first, and go out feet first. In between, it is all a matter of balance.” – Paul Boese
I have no wisdom to share in this blog post, but I’m hoping you do. Here’s to finding some equilibrium…
Nov
26
Giving Thanks
Filed Under Peace & Happiness, Random | Leave a Comment
This time last year, I was a little freaked out. I was newly pregnant, and started realizing my life was going to change in a big way…both personally and professionally. While I felt grateful for the blessing of a new life, it didn’t change the fact that I wasn’t ready to leap into the abyss of the unknown. But even when you don’t feel prepared, the world keeps on turning. I am thankful for getting tossed out of my comfort zone.
Since Thanksgiving of 2008, many things have happened. We selected and trained a team of amazing speakers (Megan, Michaela, Heather & Jaime) to give Fight Back Productions seminars at schools, colleges and corporations across the country. I found a stellar Marketing Coordinator (Jenn) two incredible Program Directors (Cheryl & Dianna) to arrange these events, in addition to joining forces with the award-winning agency, Bass-Schuler Entertainment. Together we booked the busiest semester to date this past Fall, giving personal safety seminars in over 40 cities. We already have 30 stops on the Spring ’10 Tour planned, and we’re just getting going. I am thankful for a rock solid team.
This past August I gave birth to my first baby, a little boy named Miles. His entry into this world was awesome, and the past 3 months of learning, growing, adapting and letting go of perfection have been enormous life lessons for me. I am thankful to be someone’s mom.
I’ve always read that kids make life chaotic, but for me, Miles has slowed me down and helped me smell the roses. I’ve relaxed a bit, simply because I had to. I recall a few days after he was born, I was awake most of the night. While feeding him at about 5 am, I looked out the window and noticed the sun was starting to rise. Minutes later it was over, and I realized I hadn’t stopped to watch a sunrise from start to finish in close to a decade. I am thankful that each new day gives me another opportunity to make this life count.
Whether you’re at our table today or somewhere across the globe, I am grateful for you. It’s our first Thanksgiving dinner cooking totally alone, so wish me luck with science experiments like turkey roasting, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and cranberries. And if these dishes end up being a total disaster, I’ll be thankful for Chinese take-out.
Nov
18
Speaking is a whole different ball game than teaching a self-defense class, and it should be handled differently for maximum effectiveness. Here are my top 5 tips for SD instructors who are asked to give a speech…
#1: Identify the goal of the speech. Is it to inform? To inspire? To get the audience to sign up for a self-defense course? Begin with the end in mind, and work backwards from there. Sometimes I even write the goal on a little piece of paper and keep it in my pocket during the speech. If I start getting side-tracked, I remember what I wrote and bring the message back to the goal. It’s kinda like yoga class, when you set an intention before starting your practice.
#2: Mirror your audience to some degree. If they are teen girls, they may want a lighter approach, and address the safety issues affecting them (acquaintance rape, peer pressure, dating violence). If they are security professionals, they may want a more hard-core talk (workplace violence, academic studies on violence prevention). But don’t make assumptions about your audience. I highly recommend asking the contact organizing your speaking engagement about background on the audience before you take the mic. (Ideally days or weeks prior, so you can meditate on this.) What you learn may help when deciding which jokes to use, language to avoid, what outfit to wear, etc. Obviously you need to be authentic, and don’t want to be someone you’re not…but studies have shown that audiences connect to speakers who they can relate to.
#3: Honor the time commitment. There’s nothing worse than a speaker who is asked to talk for 15 minutes, and talks for an hour. It’s ignorant and rude, and you’ll totally lose the audience and offend the organizer. More is NOT better in this case.
#4: Have fun! A speech is different than a self-defense class. You gotta keep it light if you want people to connect with the message and take the next steps. Many instructors have incredible training, which can be intimidating to women with no experience. Coming across as too bad-ass could make the attendees walk away thinking, “She was awesome, but I could never do that…” Personally, I don’t find this to be a successful outcome if the goal is motivating women to become their own best protectors. Reminding yourself to have fun also helps calm nerves if you’re feeling jittery.
#5: Always end the speech with “next steps.” It’s such a shame when a great speaker does an excellent job and the audience is all fired up…but they give the people no instructions for how to take the next step. Decide what you can offer the audience and give them clear instructions on how to move forward. (Possible next steps could be: buy a book, take a class, attend a community event, etc.) Whatever you do, give them clear directions. If you can use PowerPoint and have a handout with these steps written out, even better. Many people are visual learners and need to SEE it.
I think having the skill of speaking publicly can only help our cause of ending violence against women. Ellen Snortland once told me the suffragists largely attribute the success of their campaign for a woman’s right to vote to the fact they went on speaking tours to cities across the US. Speaking up = change!
Nov
15
Making Self-Defense Fun
Filed Under Random | 5 Comments
Lately I’ve been talking to women’s safety instructors about low class attendance for a skill that can save a person’s life. It’s a common frustration among most self-defense instructors, even those who are internationally known, when it comes to marketing safety and self-defense education to everyday women. Despite the excellent education that so many instructors offer, in many cases these classes are duds, with only a few people in attendance.
I believe there are many reasons for this, one of the biggies being that women are flat-out SCARED of something bad happening to them…and consequently are afraid of confronting that possible reality in a self-defense class. As a result, many class attendees who actually show up have put off taking a class for years, are nervous to be there, recently survived an attack or “close call” or are forced to attend. (Often the case with moms making their daughters go…while ironically, those same moms often never take a class themselves.) This can be a tough crowd in regards to helping them relax, opening their minds and filling their brains and bodies with new ideas of what they are capable of.
This begs the question…what if we got this education to women in other ways, with less pressure? What if we made self-defense classes like swim lessons? The lessons are fun, but the goal is teaching young people to not drown. (Scary outcome, fun process learning to avoid it.) What if we looked at models like Jazzercize? It was created after Judy Sheppard Missett saw the high turnover rate of dance classes, so she threw in a fitness component and some crazy humor. The idea? Have fun while getting fit. Why is fun so taboo when it comes to self-defense? Is it possible for the education to be even MORE effective if people are relaxed while they hear our message of safety?
When people are laughing, they are listening. And when they are listening, they’re learning. And when they are learning, they become empowered. And that’s when change happens.
I’d like to pose this question to all women: What would make the idea of taking a self-defense class or martial arts less scary to you? A clean, pretty studio? Women only? More “friendly” marketing materials? Or shouldn’t self-defense be fun at all? Please comment…
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