Most of us know someone who’s in a terrible relationship, and we just pray for the impending break-up. It’s just a matter of how it’s gonna go down, and how much drama will be involved. I’ve always told the women in my Girls Fight Back program that not all relationships are healthy, and if someone ever makes you feel bad or scared or small in any way, it’s probably somewhat abusive. Most people have a real hard time hearing this, and the relationship continues until the inevitable blowup months or years later…leaving people to marvel at their past self and say, “What was I thinking?!”
I might be the only twisted gal on earth who finds certain break-ups inspiring. I think people who have the confidence and the self-love to say to their partner, “This just ain’t working out” are incredibly brave and courageous people. It’s scary to be alone.
This past week I heard two stories of inspiring break-ups. First was a close girlfriend of mine. She had been dating this guy for quite awhile, and found out he had been text messaging things like “I miss you” to some other girl. She wasn’t snooping. It just kinda found her. Faced with the decision to address it or ignore it, she addressed it in a major way. She booted him out of the house and banished him from her life forever. You go girl.
Then I have another guy friend, who was recently standing at the seafood counter at his local Whole Foods store. His boyfriend had asked him to pick up grilled salmon, but they only had poached. He knew if he brought home the poached salmon, there was going to be hell to pay. And that’s when he realized his boyfriend had been controlling him and using fear in the relationship. So he bought the poached salmon, went home, his boyfriend broke up with him over it and my friend was totally okay with that.
Our mothers always say that cliche after a break-up, “You’re better off without him.” Isn’t it hard to grow up and start realizing on a regular basis how right your mom is about so many things?!