The bad travel karma continued yesterday, as I was stranded in Chicago for St. Patrick’s Day. Only one flight left Chicago for Newark, and I knew I had no hope of getting a standby seat. (It was a regional jet…no dice.) So it was decision time…either try to wait it out at O’Hare and end up punching someone in the face, or go downtown Chicago and get jiggy with my college peeps celebrating the Irish. Clearly the latter was a more positive option. And this would be my big chance to whip out my new Green Mullet Wig! As you can see from the picture above, it rocked. But it also seemed to scare my niece a bit. I drove all the way downtown with the wig on, and people kept staring and pointing at me in my car. At one point I stopped for gas, and one guy came up to me and asked for directions. I thought to myself, “Of all the normal looking people at this gas station, this guy asks the only jackass in a mullet wig for directions. Unbelievable.”
I ended up going to a party with my friends Tommy, Neal and Katy. (all pictured above) I quickly became quite popular at this party with the wig. As you can see from the ensuing pictures below, it eventually was stolen from me and coveted by randoms.
This is me and Neal. You may recognize him from my book, as he was the guy who flew out of my closet, terrifying me, in the beginning of Chapter 2. Someday, he will be punished.
This is me and my new friend Greg. We met for the first time yesterday, and I had the wig on already. After he stole my wig from my head he was like, “Whoa! You’re actually kinda cute!” This backhanded compliment came after he accused me of being a bad flip cup player, so he almost got a palm strike to the face for the combined remarks. (But lucky for him, he emerged from the party unscathed.)
I have no idea who this guy is, but he had a creepy affection for the Green Mullet Wig. After he posed for this photo, I asked for the wig back.
This guy, who I also don’t know, tried to run off with my wig thinking I wouldn’t notice. I chased him down and retrieved it. So as you can see, St. Patty’s Day turned out to be pretty fun after all. You know what they say…when life gives you lemons, make green beer.