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You may recall a few months ago, I was asked to be the commencement speaker at Eastern Illinois University’s graduation ceremony. Today the video is finally posted, thanks to my web guru Pete Lacis.  Even though I’m a speaker for a living, this was humbling and exciting.  I mean, all those people, about to start a new and exciting chapter of their lives…it’s an energy like no other.  Add that to the fact I wasn’t allow to groin strike anyone on stage, and I was offically out of my element. More scary than anything, however, was the ginormous jumbotron screen directly in front of me.  As I was speaking and looking out at the audience, a much bigger version of myself stared right back.  Kind of a mind freak, if you let it be.  But in situations where I’m not sure of the right thing to say, I just take some quiet moments and ask for Shannon’s help.  Lucky for my audiences (and my self-esteem), she always delivers.  Hope you enjoy the video.  P.S…Don’t be alarmed if it sounds like nobody is laughing at my jokes.  I wasn’t dyin’ up there.  The audience wasn’t mic’d, but I swear they thought I was just a little funny.  Next time I’ll add laugh tracks.  Click here to watch the video.

For most of the summer my staff has been hard at work preparing for our upcoming 2008 Fall Tour, and I’m psyched to say it’s gonna be nuts.  We’ll be capping the tour stops at 30, just for the sake of my personal sanity.  So if your college or business is interested in bringing me as a speaker on this tour, you should contact us ASAP and we’ll send you a speaking packet chock full ‘o information.  All tour stops between August and November will be receving free books, posters and long-sleeved t-shirts.  Long sleeved shirts make me happy. Is this normal? Or are the long sleeves some weird fetish of mine? The logo for the fall tour is what we’re calling the GFB Whimsical Tree.  (Click on icon to see full image) It’s shedding it’s leaves, but they are green and blue.  How on-brand are we?  Also, we’re still open to corporate sponsors for the tour, so if you work for a company that might be interested, contact us and we’ll send you a sponsor packet.

As many of my loyal blog readers may have noticed, my website has gotten a makeover.  If you’ve followed my wanderings for awhile, you know this tends to happen rather often.  But I assure you, I have found a look and feel that complements exactly where I am right now, and where I’m going.  For once, I put a lot of thought into my new look…and took some serious time to develop it.  So I’d like to explain, in case you’re curious about these sorts of things…

My name is Erin Underwood Weed, and indeed, it’s a ridiculous name. The Erin is normal enough, but the Underwood throws people a bit, especially when they just see my middle initial is “U.”  I mean, what woman’s name besides Ursula starts with a U?  It’s actually a family name.  My great-great grandfather was the founder of the Erie Railroad, and had 5 daughters.  The family name was going to end, so my ancestors gave the middle name Underwood to their daughters.  This continued for almost 100 years. Now the last name Weed is just silly.  At graduation ceremonies throughout my life, laughter from the crowd usually joins my proud walk across the stage to receive my diploma. Thankfully I embraced the humor in it, and dodged any deep need for therapeutic emotional healing from the taunting.  My family embraced it so much so, that my father had the license plate of Weed 6.  (Weed being the last name, 6 people in our nuclear family.)  This illegal drug reference resulted in many encounters with the law as I began driving at age 16.

So how does this explain the new site?  I embrace the ridiculous of my name.  In fact, I love it.  So the main logo is a dandelion…a very colorful weed.  One of my staff members named Camella remarked recently, “I love the dandelion as your logo, because it reminds me of a child who brings one to his mother wanting to give her flowers.”  So as this blog evolves with me, I hope you’ll see my daily messages as something similar.  Ideas and experiences that just drop into your cyber-life to say hello, that I’m hoping to make this day a little better for you with my ridiculous meanderings and that beauty can really be found anywhere…even among the weeds.

This weekend was the bachelorette party for my good friend and soon-to-be sister-in-law, Chris Giameo.  She’s an outdoorsy chick, so we decided to go whitewater rafting at the Royal Gorge instead of strippers and penis straws.  It was a blast. There’s really nothing more refreshing and exciting than being in nature, and getting your ass kicked by it!  I’ve live in Colorado for over a year now, but everytime I do something like this, I still have to convince myself it’s not a Disney ride…it’s mama nature in full effect.  If you’ve never gone rafting before, you gotta try it.

Click here to watch us hit the rapids

Lately I’ve been wrestling with a decision about my car.  I drive a black, VW beetle convertible and the lease is about to expire.  I absolutely ADORE this little automobile.  Her name is Black Mamba, which anyone who is a fan of Kill Bill movies will understand.  Before my sweet mamba, I was queen of the beater-mobiles.  Usually to mask what a junker I was driving, I’d spray paint it with daisies or other flower-power related design.  So Black Mamba was my first “real” car with a real payment.  And this month I was forced with the question of whether to give it back to VW, or buy it.  The buyout price is fair, but the rust-bucket lover in me says to purchase a mangled civic just to drive to work in.  The scooter obsession I have says to just screw the car and get a Vespa.  But I also feel true to my sweet, sweet Black Mamba.  What’s a fight girl to do?

So today I was still thinking about this on  my way to the office, and I passed a cute girl driving a white jeep with the top off.  As we saw each other we enthusiastically waved at each other. (This is normal behavior for people who drive beetles and jeeps.)  And this is when I realized, I will keep her.  She makes me happy.  And life is just too short not to wave, beep and smile at complete strangers.

As many of you read in my June e-news post, this year I’m beginning the process to reclaim my peace.  For seven years since Shannon’s death I’ve been fighting, and now it’s time to try a new road.  I’m starting easy, given I’m not what you might call a relaxed person.  Quite the contrary, actually - I’m a total spaz.  So my quest for finding peace brought me to my local yoga studio today.  I’ve been going intermittently since 2006, but not remotely skilled.  When it was time to attempt Crow Pose (also known as Crane Pose), I was ready to seriously attempt it for the first time.  Deciding not to let fear hold me back anymore, I tossed up my knees onto the triceps and went for the balancing act.  And then for 1, 2, 3, 4 seconds I had it.  Never before had I been able to do this and actually hold it.  And as I captured the pose, time stood still.  That is, until my arms gave way and I fell smack on my head.  It made a knocking sound, like someone rappin’ on your front door.  I saw a few stars, but it was worth it.  When I came home, I stumbled upon this anonymous quote while looking for tips on how NOT to give myself a concussion next time:

“The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.”
Ain’t that the truth…

Ladies, have you ever had a guy pursue you like this?

Click here to listen to the most manipulative voicemail of all time.

How do you say “no” to unwanted pursuers in your life?

Whew!  Vacation is awesome, but catching up after a vacation can be brutal.  But the trip was interesting, fun and breathtakingly beautiful.  So at long last, you can view photos from my awesome California road trip by clicking here.

Here was the itinerary:
Day 1:  Fly to San Francisco.  Picked up convertible. Dinner & drinks downtown with friends.
Day 2:  Breakfast in San Francisco. Visited Golden Gate Bridge. Took lame tourist photos.  Drove to Monterey for dinner and fireworks.
Day 3:  Drove to San Luis Obispo to visit friends, then on to Santa Barbara.  Dinner on the marina.
Day 4:  Drove to Los Angeles. Had brunch with friends and margaritas with more friends. Then dinner with even more friends.  Who knew we had so many peeps in LA?
Day 5:  Lunch with my mentor.  Drove to La Jolla.  Stared at the ocean, enjoyed amazing sushi and interesting people watching.
Day 6:  Drive to San Diego. Had an In-N-Out burger, animal style.  Flew back to Denver.

As much work as it can be to get away for a week, it’s important to stop, appreciate those we love…and especially to take that time for ourselves.  In the thick of problems, deadlines, goals and common stresses of work and life, we can lose perspective.  Walking away helps you get it back.  The Europeans know this…why don’t we?

I was contacted by my Alpha Phi national headquarters, informing me of an Alpha Phi alum who was murdered in February. Her name was Lindsay Graygo, and she was an A-phi at Penn State.  Her sister is also an Alpha Phi at the same campus.  A suspect in her murder was recently arrested, and hearings are to begin in July.  Wishing all who knew Lindsay any possible peace and comfort right now.

Click here to read a recent article.

Four years ago today, Pete Lacis had the courage to marry me on Maui.  Clearly he had no idea what he was in for, but here we are…happier than ever 4 years later.  I never really pictured myself as married when I was in college.  I guess some things are hard to imagine until they appear.  And when they do, it’s an ah-ha moment, where you laugh at all the silliness of things you did in your past for the sake of finding “the one.”   My single friends often ask me when I knew that Pete was the man I would marry.  And I know the exact moment.  He is a musician, and wrote me a song with these lyrics:  “I want you to be free, standing right next to me.”  And that is the kind of relationship I had always wanted.  Someone who would make me better, let me do my own thing and then laugh about life over dinner.

Today we flew to San Francisco, and will be driving down the Pacific Coast Highway over the next few days, ending in San Diego.  Our convertible was upgraded and our hotel sent champagne to our room in celebration of the anniversary.  Love is in the air, and it is good and kind.  So here’s my virtual gift to you today: wind in your hair, a light ocean breeze and love…everywhere.

So let me tell you about my afternoon.  I’ve been running around like mad, trying to get ready for vacation tomorrow.  That’s right.  Erin Weed is taking a break.  Sound the alarm, cuz this never happens!  It’s amazing how much work goes into taking a vacation, however.  It’s like you need to rest after prepping to get some rest.  Oh, the irony.  But anyways, back to my afternoon.  I was driving on I-25 north to our office, and all of a sudden I heard a big “pop.” Immediately my car went out of control, and started veering into other lanes. This is when my adrenal stress training in self-defense really came in handy.  Instead of panicking, I took a deep breath, then started signaling to the other drivers that I was about to cut them off.  I had to cross four lanes of traffic to get to the shoulder, and wouldn’t you know it…right as I stop the car, I look in the rear-view mirror and the creepiest truck I’ve ever seen pulls up behind me.  This is a situation many women have found themselves in at some point, and simultaneously, two big issues come up.

Issue #1: Safety - OK, I’m a woman…alone…on a highway…and a guy in a creepy truck just stopped behind me.  As he gets out of the truck, I see he’s covered with tattoos.  Instant profiling and discrimination begins. Immediately afterward comes the self-loathing for thinking that just because he his body is covered with tattoos doesn’t mean he’s a serial killer. Anyone can commit a crime, but as women, we tend to cling to the visual concepts of what a bad guy looks like…and those thought patterns are dangerous.

Issue #2: Women’s independence.  I know how to change a tire.  And while I never had a blow-out to this porportion before, I have practiced changing a tire many times.  As he walked up to me, I started thinking…no, I’ll change my own damn tire. But then he had all this professional tire-changing gear, and I knew he could do this better and faster than me.

I was torn on multiple levels, so I decided to let my intuition make the call.  I asked myself, “Can you trust this person? Is there anything about this man that is making you uncomfortable?”  The simple answer was NO.  While the situation overall was stressful, the man himself wasn’t causing me any concern.  So together we changed the tire, and I was out of there in 20 minutes flat. (no pun intended) I gave him $20 for his trouble, and he was psyched.

As July 4th weekend is upon us, here’s a few safety trips if you find yourself in a similar situation:

1.  After pulling over to safety, get on your cell phone and immediately let someone know where you are, and the fact that someone is helping you. Even if you have to leave messages or make several calls, just make sure someone knows where you are and what’s going on.  (and if you’re a cave woman and don’t have a cell phone…go buy one to keep in the car just for emergencies.)  If necessary, call the police to inform them of your situation.

2.  Do not play the damsel in distress and act like a victim.  Instead, go right up to the person, look them in the eye, give a firm handshake and thank them for stopping.  Ask for their first and last name.  Memorize it. Even better, call your emergency contact again and say, “I just wanted to let you know that a nice man named Jimmy BoJangles has stopped and is assisting me with the tire.”  Yes, a fake name can be given…but your intuition will likely pick up on the person’s hesitation if he’s making one up on the fly.

3.  Help identify your intuitive feeling by asking yourself:  Is this person giving me the creeps?  Do I feel safe right now?  Is there something odd that I just can’t identify that is giving me an unsettled feeling?  If your intuition gives off feelings of danger or doubt, trust it. Refuse assistance and call police instead.

4.  While your helper isn’t looking, whip out your cell phone and took a photo of his license plate.  And while you’re at it, there’s a plethora of improvised weapons in a woman’s trunk: car jack, lug wrench, hub cap…get scrappy!  Just hold any of them in your hand, in case the situation takes a dark turn.

Wishing you safe and happy travels this holiday weekend!

Loaded Bow is a new blog focused on women’s entrepreneurship.  I was recently interviewed by them, and today the Q&A is published.  Topics range from why I started Girls Fight Back, why I love my last name so much and why I always got fired from jobs.  Women’s empowerment is so much more than self-defense.  It’s living safe, strong, happy, joyful and empowered existences!  For many women, they can find this kind of fulfillment through their work, whether it’s working for yourself or someone else.  It’s a great passion of mine to help women be successful in whatever they do, and Loaded Bow is a great resource! Click here to read it.