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Dec
28
Survey says…
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Random | 2 Comments
About two weeks ago, I sent out an online survey in regards to the Summer 2009 Girls Fight Back Conference we’ve been planning. I met with countless hotels and conference venues here in Colorado, and found some excellent prospects. It was coming time to get serious, save dates and sign contracts. While I felt the feedback during the Fall Tour about this conference was overwhelmingly positive, my team and I decided to ask our peeps for more specifics about what they were looking for in this training opportunity. I’m glad we asked, because we received feedback that changes our original vision, starting with WHERE this conference should be held. Here’s what 100 women surveyed from across the nation had to say:
93% of women were interested in attending a GFB Conference, focused on safety & self-defense for women, and held over a weekend in Summer 2009.
63% said they were not willing (mostly for financial reasons) to travel to Denver for the conference. 32% said they would make the trip.
The top cities suggested as alternative locations (in order of popularity): Chicago, New York tri-state area and Washington DC.
Many people suggested having multiple training conferences, held regionally.
June was cited as the best summer month to hold a conference like this.
Downtown, in a larger city, was named as the preferred setting.
People weren’t overly concerned about becoming GFB certified instructors. They expressed wanting to simply train and learn with GFB, with certification not being a major factor.
77% of responses stated the training needs to be $200 or less per person. 45% would pay up to $350 and 16% would pay up to $450.
65% felt social activities outside the conference were “somewhat important” followed by 30% who felt social is “very important.”
The top 5 subject areas of breakout sessions include (in order of popularity): Basic self-defense, rape & sexual assault prevention, date (acquaintance) rape, assertiveness/boundary setting and self-esteem/self-confidence.
53% want lunch provided by the conference, 39% want breakfast provided and 28% want all meals provided.
We’re going to take the next few weeks to make some decisions using this data, and will post more information as soon as it’s available. At this point, it’s looking like regional conferences might be a better bet, and possibly keeping the trainings to one day (instead of a full weekend) in an effort to keep down conference costs and travel fees. I’m also wondering if 2010 might be a better idea, since 2009 is right around the corner! If you have ideas, please comment below…now is a very crucial time in planning these trainings and we are listening! P.S. – For anyone who plans events or ever needs to collect feedback to make educated decisions, go to Survey Monkey and send out surveys for free! It’s an incredibly valuable tool.
Dec
27
Kickboxing Like A Girl
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Media, Random, Safety & Self-Defense, Social Entrepreneurship | 8 Comments
Today’s article by Paula Span in the Washington Post hit on a big issue for the feminist and women’s safety/self-defense community. (Click here to read it) The writer talks about attending a kickboxing class taught by a woman who uses ‘girly’ language and visualizations when teaching punches and groin strikes. Instead of explaining a right hook to nail someone square in the jaw, she has the class re-enact “clearing off their dresser.” Instead of kneeing a rapist to the groin, she has the class act as if they are “doing yard work and breaking sticks over their knees…so hard that the neighbors look at them funny.” Paula explains most of the class is middle age, none of them too interested in causing pain, disability or death in anyone…possibly not even to someone threatening their personal safety. So this method of teaching kickboxing works for her classmates. They are learning the moves, but not threatening their fragile feminine psyche. <sarcasm> Let me also note: Kickboxing is not self-defense, and should not be confused with training that prepares you to fight back in a truly violent confrontation.
In the women’s self-defense community, we walk a very fine line. Convey the fighting material too lightly, and people don’t take it seriously. You also run the risk of a woman not being emotionally or mentally prepared for a real attack, and then freezes under the adrenal stress in a real situation. Furthermore, as women, can’t we handle a little tough talk? Feminists from the 1970s must be throwing a fit over this article, to insinuate women need such a soft touch in learning life skills. But if you teach too hard-core, you run the risk of turning the women off…and possibly never learning about self-defense again out of fear of taking a class. I’ve seen this many times at countless self-defense courses around the nation. A bad-ass instructor doesn’t mince words, and you can actually see the faces of the women in the audience gloss over and they shut down.
Most instructors in the world will tell you it’s very difficult to make a living teaching personal safety and self-defense. Unless you twist in fitness or black belt achievement, most women simply aren’t interested. How do we make women realize how much they need this training, how important it is to understand intuition and fear, even if it makes you uncomfortable? And after we help women understand this, how do we ensure they act upon it and take a class? That’s the hardest part…the action and then the follow-through. When I owned a self-defense studio in New Jersey, we’d have full classes signed up weeks in advance of the class start date, only for half to cancel the day before the first night of the course. Yeah, life gets crazy. But self-defense seems to always fall to the bottom of our to-do lists for so many personal and emotional reasons too.
There isn’t an easy answer for getting this training to women, but I think the women’s self-defense community has to come together, each of us offering our niche speciaities. For example, at Girls Fight Back we have found a niche of providing one-time, 90 minute, live seminars at high schools and colleges using humor and empowerment. While our seminar is intended to be introductory, our message throughout is to sign up for a class in their geographic area. For free, we supply a vast list of women’s self-defense classes around the nation where our audiences can sign up. Is this system perfect? No. Do I wish we could teach each of the 100,000 women I speak in front of each year true down ‘n dirty instruction that could save their life? You bet. But our niche is connecting with young women, making safety and self-defense appear unthreatening and “cool” within their social norms…then providing them with resources to take the next step. It’s just one tiny piece of the big puzzle. What’s you’re niche? And how can we work together to solve this social issue?
As we develop our vision for 2009, keep this mantra in mind: “Know what you are, know what you’re not.” Regardless of what industry you are in, you can never be all things to all people. What makes you different or special? What do you enjoy? What audiences seem to really connect with you? Who do you connect with? Concentrate on them…they are your niche. Once you find them, start partnering with people in other niches, and that’s when real change starts to happen.
Dec
23
Mint.com
Filed Under Random, Social Entrepreneurship | Leave a Comment
Let me tell you about my new favorite website…it’s a one-stop-shop for managing all your finances, and it’s totally free. Check it out at http://www.mint.com. The set-up process only took me about 10 minutes yesterday, and I was able to upload all my account information from my bank, credit cards and investment accounts. The website is clean, easy to use, and worth mentioning twice: It’s Free!
In this craptastic economy, I believe that everyone (especially entrepreneurs) need to get smart and responsible about money. I often given seminars to budding entrepreneurs called Business 101, and the audience is usually comprised of non-profit professionals or small business owners. There seems to be a feeling that we shouldn’t make money, or that money is bad in some way. Abuse of money is bad and greed will destroy all, but money itself is our friend if handled responsibly and used for good. We live in a capitalist economy, with money being the mechanism of how the economy thrives or dives. Embrace it for what it is.
So this year, I challenge you to examine your relationship with money and start understanding how to manage it. Start with Mint.com to get an idea of where you are, and where you need to go. Now I’m off to go spend way too much money for final Christmas shopping…happy budgeting!
Dec
22
Customer Service
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For any entrepreneur, your business won’t last long without a solid customer service policy. The bigger the company gets, the most control you start to lose…this is when it’s more important than ever to provide solid service, especially to best customers. Take this little incident for example. I was in Columbus, OH for a conference in mid-November and rented a car from Hertz. I’ve got some mad status at this car rental company, after using them for almost 7 years on the road. I’m even a member of the President’s Circle…whatever the heck that means, but don’t I sound important? The car sat in the hotel garage all weekend, as I never had time to get out and use it. So imagine my surprise when I return the car and am greeted by a bitchy rental agent saying, “Did you do that?” No “good afternoon.” No ‘how are you?’ No “How was the vehicle?” But instead, a question that more resembled an accusation. Frankly, I was confused, and walked around the front of the car where she was sourly pointing. Clearly there was a gash on the front left bumper. Nothing too major, but it was there. I told her I didn’t do it, and she responded, “Yeah right.”
Wow…I bet Hertz didn’t teach her that line during training! But that’s what she said, incinuating I was lying. This is bad customer service. I mean, at least act like you’ll give a customer the benefit of the doubt. At least pretend like you have some faith in humanity that we’re all not a bunch of decits, out to gash Mazda 6 bumpers across the universe!
Now bad customer service can be reversed. In some cases, it can make a shockingly bad experience (like mine) a shockingly good one. I have written a letter, faxed a letter and sent an e-mail sharing my experience with Hertz corporate and the local Hertz at the Columbus Airport. Grand total for damage is about $500. With the multiple thousands of dollars I spend on Hertz car rentals every year, they’d be mathematically challenged to make me pay for this, knowing they will lose my business. But many companies can only see the short term gain, and these same companies usually fail. At the end of the day, customer service is emotional. It’s about relationships. It’s about how you make a person feel, and how you treat them. All these things reflect back on your company. We’ll see how Hertz responds and I will keep you posted on my blog.
But in the meantime, I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they’ll do the right thing.
Dec
18
Take Our Survey
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Random | Leave a Comment
As many of you know, we’ve been planning our first-ever Girls Fight Back conference for Summer 2009. And since it’s our first time planning an event like this, it’s been a learning experience. I have new respect for event and meeting planners after many weeks of meetings and site tours. Talking to hotels and convention centers has filled us with endless possibilities, but it’s also making our heads spin a bit.
So we decided to give the power to the people. Click here to take a quick, 10-question, anonymous survey about our first conference. Even if you don’t want to attend, or cannot afford it this year…we want to hear that as well. Girls Fight Back has limited staff time and resources, and we only want to organize this conference if people really want it. Thanks for your particpation, and feel free to send the link to friends. The more responses, the more educated our planning process can be.
Dec
17
December E-Newsletter
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Random | 2 Comments
Click here to see the “pretty version” of this e-news!
Happy holidays from Girls Fight Back! I’m Ashley Bruce, the Girls Fight Back intern. I’ll be sending you this e-newsletter going forward, but will always include a note from Erin Weed at the end. We had the most incredible Fall Tour to date these past few months, and it’s looking like the Spring will be even crazier…in a good way! So here’s the latest and greatest news from our headquarters in Colorado…
2009 Girls Fight Back Conference
This summer we’ll be hosting the first-ever Girls Fight Back Conference in beautiful Denver. Women from across the world will come for a long weekend of self-defense and safety training that will blow their minds! Final details are still being finalized, and a formal announcement will be made after the New Year. So stay tuned…
Erin Weed nominated as “Best Female Performer”
Every year, Campus Activities Magazine names the top presenters in the college market. We literally found out TODAY that Erin Weed is a top 5 finalist for the “Best Female Performer” award! While Erin will downplay the significance, it’s a really big deal. Voting for the #1 winner starts in January, so we’ll be sending you a link to cast your vote at that time.
Spring Tour 2009
2008 isn’t over yet, and we are already gearing up for the Girls Fight Back 2009 Spring Tour. Interested in learning more about bringing Erin to speak at your school, college or business? Contact us for pricing and scheduling information. We are also seeking sponsors for the Spring ’09 Tour. If you work for a company that might be interested, we can send you a Sponsor Info Packet with all the details. Please call 1-866-GFB-2423 or e-mail us.
Stops on the 2008 Fall Tour
Just a quick overview of where Erin has traveled and spoken over the past 3 months…don’t read it too quickly or your head will spin! While on tour, she was also doing non-stop newspaper interviews, radio show chats and live TV appearances.
Texas A&M Commerce, TX
University of Illinois – Chicago Chicago, IL
Muhlenberg College Allentown, PA
New York Life Insurance Co. New York, NY
Baylor College Waco, TX
Wake Forest University Winston-Salem, NC
Ithaca College Ithaca, NY
Missouri State University Springfield, MO
Colorado Non-Profit Conf. Denver, CO
Carnegie Mellon Pittsburg, PA
Lynchburg College Lynchburg, VA
Florida Atlantic University Boca Raton, FL
Northern Illinois University DeKalb, IL
Lake Zurich High School Palatine, IL
University of North Florida Jacksonville, FL
Blauer Self Defense Conf. Virginia Beach, VA
Conference on Sexual Assault in our Schools Orlando, FL
Towson University Towson, MD
SUNY- Oswego Oswego, NY
Michigan State University East Lansing, MI
Colorado Mountain College Glenwood Springs, CO
Vanguard Corporation Malvern, PA
Southern Illinois University Edwardsville, IL
Eastern Illinois University Charleston, IL
Lake Forest College Lake Forest, IL
University of Northern Iowa Cedar Fall, IA
BACCHUS General Assembly Columbus, OH
San Jose State University San Jose, CA
SUNY – Albany Albany, NY
Happy Holidays and a Fall Tour Re-Cap from Erin Weed:
On the eve of my final tour stop in Albany, NY I checked into my hotel around midnight. It was a long day of travel, originating in San Francisco. Upon check-in, the Jerry-Garcia-look-a-like desk clerk exclaimed, “Congratulations! You now have diamond status in our frequent guest program!” I responded, “Cool. What does that mean?” And he replied, “That means you travel too much. And your reward? A broken elevator and a 4 flight walk up to your room.” Ain’t my life sexy?
Indeed, in the past few months I have traveled a lot. Since the tour kick-off on August 26th, I spoke 29 times, rode on 37 airplanes and stayed in 24 different hotels. I gave over 50 media interviews and estimate that I spoke to over 20,000 people across the nation at the live seminars. Looking back over my twitter posts, I’m again reminded of Jerry Garcia with this famous quote, “What a long strange trip it’s been.” If I had to pick the strangest part? Probably the man I met on an airplane to Ohio that was a pirate…eye patch, peg leg, the whole nine yards. If you’d like to see a photo gallery of my tour, click here. (Sorry, I felt weird about asking the pirate for a picture, but in retrospect I totally should have.) But the Fall Tour was so much more than weird stuff. It also introduced me to some incredibly inspiring people. I met hundreds of survivors of violence who shared their stories with me, and also women who have fought back and escaped safely. Both stories bring tears to my eyes, as none of us should have to face these terrible situations. Meeting each of them strengthened my belief that every one of us is worth fighting for.
This Fall I also started sharing our big plans to hold the first-ever Girls Fight Back Conference this summer in Denver, and the feedback was tremendous. We’re expecting an incredible crowd of fight girls to converge in the Mile High City for the best women’s self-defense training opportunity you can get. (Stay tuned for official details after the New Year) In 2009 I will also begin looking for young women to train and certify as GFB Speakers/Instructors, since the demand for programs across the country has become too great to fill on my own. This is what I refer to as a “good problem” and I look forward to someday soon retiring myself. After all, I’m 31 years old now…my aching bones!
I want to thank our Fall Tour Sponsors, Alpha Phi and Intelius, for supporting Girls Fight Back during this tour. Specifically I’d like to thank Melissa Korb, Denise Reens and Arden Schuman. I also want to thank the 29 colleges, conferences and corporations who hosted me since September. I’m enjoying my time at home again, and trying to convince my pug Zoe that I’m not leaving again for awhile. (So far, she’s not buying it.) I’d also like to thank my team for supporting me through the tour: Camella Walraven (GFB Program Director), Ashley Bruce (GFB Intern) and Pete Lacis (Web Guru). See their photos & bios here.
In January 2002, I started giving the Girls Fight Back program around the country full time. I thought it would only be for a few months or a year, tops. But as we inch into January 2009, I’m shocked that it will be 7 years. It’s said in the religion of Buddhism, that the Buddha walked 7 steps at his birth. Now that’s an athletic baby! I feel that GFB has been similarly blessed with the ability to do incredible things in a very short amount of time. When things are meant to be, I suppose anything is possible.
During this time of holiday magic, I wish for you snow lightly falling, friends and family abounding and an angel on your shoulder wherever you may go.
Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.
Erin Weed
Founder, Girls Fight Back!
*New Address*
Girls Fight Back
P.O. Box 6953
Westminster, CO 80021
Contact us to book a seminar on the Spring ’09 Tour
Become a member of Girls Fight Back!
Dec
16
Holiday shopping safety tips
Filed Under Random, Safety & Self-Defense | Leave a Comment
This morning I was supposed to be a guest on DC/Maryland’s morning talk show for WMZQ-FM…a country station. After getting up at 6 am to be ready for the interview (and not sound like a toad) they blew me off. Alas, this little stunt has furthered my disdain for country music. (I take sleep quite seriously.) We were supposed to discuss holiday shopping safety tips (which I find to be a very timely and important subject), so I will share them here…
The first thing we must take into consideration when it comes to personal security while shopping is the fact it creates opportunity for bad guys. Large crowds of stressed out people who are multi-tasking and on deadline = not aware. The situation overall, compounded by our stress can be a ideal scenario for crime. That being said, living consciously is a choice. We can choose to get caught up in the holiday mayhem or choose to stop, breathe and focus on the moment. And when we are present, we are usually safer. So with that understanding, here are my holiday shopping safety tips:
1. Acknowledge violence can happen. Knowing it’s a real threat will motivate you to develop real protocol to combat it.
2. Trust your intuition. It won’t let you down, especially when approached by people you don’t know in situations like parking lots. Need a refresher on the topic? Read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. Even better, buy this book for someone you love.
3. Be a “bad victim” by making yourself seem like an unattractive target for holiday crime. Examples:
-Try to shop in pairs or groups, but know it’s your right to also shop alone – have a safety plan!
-Avoid tucked away restrooms at malls, or any remote place for that matter
-Being bogged down by 10 shopping bags will hamper your ability to defend yourself – lighten your load
-Don’t feel silly about asking mall security to walk you to your car
-But just because someone is wearing a uniform doesn’t mean they are harmless. Trust your intuition.
-In parking lots, have your keys out, walk with intention and be ready to fight with keys if necessary
-Keep your children close, and practice what to do if you get separated (arrange a meeting spot)
-Be careful about giving your credit card information to non-secure online shopping sites
Finally, there’s just no substitute for being your own best protector…learn to fight back! You can join the Girls Fight Back website for FREE and find a women’s self-defense class near you. Many schools also sell gift certificates. Consider buying one for a woman you love as a holiday gift.
Be merry and safe this holiday season!
Dec
10
Vision Planning
Filed Under Random, Social Entrepreneurship | Leave a Comment
This year I have spoken at several conferences on a topic not related to women’s safety or self-defense. Instead, I have been asked to give seminars to social entrepreneurs on business and marketing. It’s not easy to change the world without a business plan, and good intentions will only take you so far. So for those in business for themselves, are thinking about starting an organization or need to improve the current state of their career, here’s a few tips for you. Thank you to our brilliant business coach, Greg Walker, for teaching us this system…it’s worked wonders.
Step 1: What is your big vision? In other words, where do you want to be in five years? You should have a Big Vision for your personal life as well as your business/career. Don’t be scared to dream big about the life you want. But here’s the catch: it has to be under 100 words. We wrote the GFB Big Vision by making a list of words that best represent what we’re trying to accomplish: (ex: Educate. Safety. Self-Defense. Global.)
Step 2. What are the mini visions? Meaning, what are smaller accomplishments that work towards the Big Vision, which can be accomplished within one year? At Girls Fight Back, we decided upon 5 Mini Visions that we can focus on in ’09 that will inch us closer to the Big Vision.
Step 3: What are the critical success factors of achieving the Mini Visions? Make a list of the things that absolutely must happen for each one to be a success.
Step 4: What action steps are required? Make a literal to-do list for each objective. Think of absolutely every tiny step that must take place. Furthermore, assign each task a due date and specify WHO is going to do it. Even if your business/organization is currently one person, get into the habit of assigning the task a due date and responsible party. Put all due dates in your calendar and set up reminders. And you must stick to the due dates to stay on schedule.
Step 5: Review often. In our office, each of us has our Big Vision and Mini Visions pasted on the walls next to our computer monitors. This way, our focus is always within sight. Subconsciously and consciously, this keeps our team on track. Reviewing the Vision Plan (Big & Minis) every month is key to staying on track.
The hardest part about vision planning is setting aside all the silly little tasks on your to-do list to carve out a significant time to adequately plan. Today we rented a meeting space away from our office, to avoid phone and e-mail disturbances. It’s critical to have uninterrupted time to dream big and plan to support the vision. Now, as the end of the year is upon us, is the perfect time to plan your vision. Start off ’09 with a bang and a clear vision about where you are, and where you want to go.
Dec
9
Layoffs
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Random | 4 Comments
In the past two weeks, several close friends have been laid off from their jobs. The layoff wave doesn’t seem to apply to any particular geographic area either, as all of them are in different cities and separate industries. Sadly, they are not alone. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics website, there are currently 10.3 million people out of work. And with an grim economic outlook, the bottom hasn’t hit yet.
Not to be Pollyanna here, but I sincerely believe anytime a door is closed, we have to look for the open window. If we don’t believe this, how do we get through such difficult times? I’ve never been laid off, but have been fired plenty of times. The last time I was fired was shortly after Shannon McNamara’s murder in 2001. (Guess I wasn’t on my A-game after the murder of a dear friend…go figure.) So at 23 years old I found myself with no job, no money and 1,000 miles away from my support system in Chicago. (I was living in Hoboken, NJ at the time.) And shortly after Shannon’s death, a double whammy hit in the form of two planes flying into the World Trade Center. It seemed my world was being torn apart by violence.
Those are times I am grateful for God or something bigger than the rest of us. In the deepest depression of my life…broke and emotionally broken…I thought a lot about giving up. Feeling afraid, I started training in self-defense and over time I started acquiring certifications to teach it. It occurred to me that especially teen and college women needed some basic tools that could save their life, so I started speaking at schools and colleges, and a speaker’s bureau invited me to join them. And from there, as they say, is herstory.
So why the long-winded re-cap of the worst time in my life? To my friends and fellow Americans who are losing jobs right now, I just want to say I never would have started Girls Fight Back had I not lost my job in 2001. And while it’s been a long road since then, I think it was meant to be. I’m not going to ask you to ‘keep your chin up’ or ‘just get over it.’ Well meaning people say things like this, and are incredibly insensitive. But what I will ask is, “Is it possible there is an open window?”
Dec
3
Just Yell Fire
Filed Under Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 13 Comments
Imagine this scenario for a moment. You’re walking down the street around 4pm. It’s chilly outside, and you’re hustling to your car parked a few blocks away. All of a sudden, you hear a woman screaming, “Fire!” What do you do?
I’ve been asking people for years how they would respond in this situation, and most people start asking me more questions. “How is it being yelled?” “Is it possibly a trick or a trap?” “Where is the person?” “Is there smoke or flames?” But the bigger question lying beneath all of this is, “What the heck am I supposed to do with that information?”
The reality is that yelling fire when someone is attacking you only creates a situation that is totally open to interpretation. It also prevents people from getting involved. In this age of liability and lawsuits, most people find it’s easier to turn up their ipod and keep walking. Especially so, when the situation seems sketchy or unclear. Meanwhile, all this time you’re processing what “Fire” could possibly mean, whoever has yelled it is waiting. And waiting. And waiting. While they wait, you can be sure whoever is attacking them is not just hanging out and smoking a cigar. The situation is going from bad to worse, while the victim clings to hope that someone might hear their false claim and rescue them. I hate to be Debbie Downer here, but fat chance. Hoping others will save us after providing deceitful information is dangerous. We need to learn how to save ourselves, and give those who can come to our aid some more credible information.
Here’s another question for you, from a different perspective. Again, you’re walking down the street. It’s still brisk but not cold. All of a sudden, someone grabs your arm and starts leading you away in a violent manner. You know in this moment what is happening. His violent intentions are clear, but what is the potential outcome? Rape? Robbery? Assault? Murder? And in response, what do you yell? Fire? I doubt it. Hardly makes sense given the context of your frightening situation. Not to mention, your adrenaline is not thinking about fire or anything hot. It’s thinking about survival. I have met thousands of survivors of violence, and not one of them said they yelled “fire” during their attack.
In my 7 years training in self-defense and speaking to over 500 audiences about the issue, this is the biggest myth out there. People really believe they should yell fire if attacked. It gives me chills, all these people banking on hope that someone else will save them using misleading intel, with no backup plan. Those of us in the personal security industry have a lot of educating to do.
So this begs the question, what SHOULD you yell? Is it really a mystery? Usually after I explain that yelling fire just doesn’t make sense for anyone involved, people want another quote to scream. After their hopes for “fire” are dashed, they seek to fill their well once more with another magic word. Here’s a crazy idea…how about yelling what you NEED. Give people specific directions. Imagine you’re walking down the street to your car a few blocks away. This time, you hear someone scream, “Call 911!” What do you do? I think most people will open their cell phones and call 911. It’s low commitment. It’s totally anonymous. They don’t have to get involved. And within 2-5 minutes, real help will be on the way. Why is it such a foreign idea to holler the truth when we need it?
One final thought on this issue. Anytime someone gives you safety or self-defense advice and puts the word “just” in front of it, be wary. Someone’s holding a gun to your head? Just run! Someone is trying to rape you? Just buck them off with your hips! Someone wants your wallet? Just give it to them! Using the word “just” implies that doing one small thing in a very dangerous scenario will save you, and everything will be fine. Furthermore it implies that no action will be required as a follow-up. Trained experts and survivors of violence will tell you this is not the case. Escaping from any violent situation doesn’t require one action, it’s a series of choices involving intuition, common sense and possibly self defense measures. And sometimes, these things might not work. In those cases, is a person “just raped” or “just murdered?”
Dec
2
Day Without Crime
Filed Under Random, Safety & Self-Defense | Leave a Comment
Recently I was sent an e-mail outlining all the official “days.” In case you care, the official days of December 3 (tomorrow) include: Bake a Biscuit Day, Heart Transplant Day, International Day of Disabled Persons, Love at First Sight Night, Telescope Birthday and Let’s Hug Day. It’s also “Day Without Crime.” Now if that were possible, and I look forward to a new world where that someday will be, here’s how I imagine a woman’s perspective. Fictionally, I will call her Elizabeth.
Elizabeth woke up on this glorious day of no crime feeling rested and refreshed. Last night was the first time in years that she didn’t wake up at least 3 times, after hearing a noise and thinking someone was in her home. She groggily went to shower, and sang while soaping up, instead of obsessing someone was breaking into her home when she was most vulnerable. She dressed and had breakfast, and listened to a morning newscast with happy stories like rescued kitties, winners of spelling bees and heroic coverage of people saving complete strangers from the flames of a building fire. She drove to work, not glancing in her rear view mirror at all to see if anyone was following her. After getting to work, there was no security process. No magnetic tags to swipe. Just a friendly receptionist wishing her a good morning. Elizabeth enjoyed a relaxing and productive day working, not at all worrying about retaliation from that ex-boyfriend or person she had to terminate last week for poor job performance. At lunch she ate a sandwich at the local Subway, never considering how she would react if an armed assailant stormed the restaurant. Elizabeth finished her day by meeting friends for a happy hour cocktail, not at all worried that someone might slip a predatory drug in her drink. (Thus, she refrained from taking her martini to the bathroom with her.) She then picked up some groceries from the local market, and walked to the parking lot without gripping her keys, ready to stab someone with them. She breathed deeply and took in the beauty of everyday routine in this violence-free world. When Elizabeth returned home to a dark house, she refrained from checking every closet for hiding bad guys. It was time for bed, and she fell asleep quickly knowing she would be safe.
And then she woke up.
Dec
1
It was 1987 when I was first touched by AIDS. My Uncle Randy came to live with us after learning he was HIV positive and was too weak to live on his own. That year he died. I was in 5th grade, and this was before the AIDS movement had caught on as being a socially “cool” thing to care about. But I told my friends anyway, and was too overtaken with grief to really give a rat’s ass that my uncle had just died of this crazy disease the world was paralyzed by. It was the memory of Uncle Randy that kept me working in the AIDS movement growing up, and in college. My senior year at Eastern Illinois University I was the education chair for the AIDS Quilt, which we brought to campus. I sewed Randy a panel for the quilt, and I assure you, I’m no seamstress. Despite our limited funds for the Quilt festivities, we were able to bring Kate Shindle, Miss America 1998, to lovely Charleston. She is now a good friend, and still a crusader for safe sex and accepting others despite our differences. (She’s also a Broadway phenom, having just ended a successful run in “Legally Blonde.”)
On this World AIDS Day, please visit the blog of my hilarious positoid friend Shawn Decker. Or even better, buy his book, which is the funniest book I’ve ever read with a 5 star rating on Amazon. He and his beautiful wife Gwenn Barringer are leading the charge for young people to eradicate this disease. They are also the unique but growing face of our world’s population where one partner has HIV and the other does not. We must support these people in the same way we support caregivers for cancer. Today my hat goes off to Shawn, Gwenn and all the other AIDS activists making this a healthier world.
And of course, to Uncle Randy, wherever he is.
Weedbook
