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Apr
23
Campus Activities Magazine Awards
Filed Under Random | 4 Comments
So I must confess, I don’t give much credence to awards. The Oscars? I don’t seem to have the mental or emotional depth to understand the movies that seem to win. The Grammy’s? Half the time I’ve never heard of the top winners, probably because I listen to too much Hall & Oates. When M.I.A. busted out her pregnant self in that ladybug get-up at this year’s production, shock and awe quickly set in. Often it seems like awards can be bought for the right price, like it’s part of the advertising budget.
But the annual awards from Campus Activities Magazine is different, becuase it’s strictly determined on popular vote. This year, over 47,000 students and college personnel voted on the best speakers, performers, booking agencies and entertainers. I’ve been nominated before, but this year I won “Best Female Performer.” After hearing the title of the award, I thought about adding juggling to my ass-kicking repertoire. I guess I’ve just never thought of what I do as performing. Hell, I barely think of it as professional speaking. I just think of my job as a goofball women’s self-defense instructor who just so happens to address large crowds for a living. Somehow thinking of my job in this way helped with stage fright in the early days. Clearly the imagine-the-audience-in-their-underwear method didn’t have the desired effect. Really, who came up with that technique? It’s creepy.
It’s a real honor to receive this award, and I wanted to thank all my past clients and people who voted. The fact that a women’s safety & self-defense act was chosen says a lot about how far we have come in bringing the message of girls fighting back into the mainstream. I think Shannon would really dig it. Just as I do each day, I thank her for giving me this mission, and the best is yet to come. Click here to view all the awards online.
And of course, lastly, I’d like to thank the Academy.
Apr
22
Media Rant
Filed Under Media, Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 6 Comments
Let me start this post by saying I’m a former TV producer. Many of my close friends work in the media, and I see it as a necessary vehicle for having an informed public. But story headlines like this, when there is such a profound back-story, really honk me off: “Woman Jogger Attacked in Broad Daylight”
Click on the link above to read the whole story, and you’ll find facts that don’t quite match up to the scary headline. Let me summarize. A woman was jogging on a popular trail in Ogden, Utah and a man came out from the bushes. Here’s the exact account she gave to the dispatcher:
“I was running down this trail and he kind of stepped out. I’m not sure where he was and he said ‘Hi how are you doing?’ and then he tried to throw me down on the ground and I started screaming and kicking at him and then he got up and ran away, ran down the trail.”
The article proceeds to describe her attacker and recommend jogging in groups. The police hit the streets to inform women of the incident, scaring them to death and prompting females across Utah to start jogging with backpacks filled with self-defense tools like pepper spray and alarms. Then they interview a local self-defense expert who points out these terrified women are making a mistake, because the likelihood of them having time to properly use these weapons is not good if they have to reach into their backpack. He recommends women instead use a Sharpie-looking tool that’s actually a pointy weapon, or a small firearm. I don’t know about you, but I love a good workout accompanied by a few pounds of lethal metal in my pocket.
None of this sounds shocking to most people, because it’s the boilerplate violence against women article you read in the media every day. But can I just point out what REALLY happened here? She was attacked and fought back! Using her best three weapons (intuition, voice and body) she regulated this guy. And she won! Give this gal a freakin’ gold medal, or at least a well-deserved chocolate chip cookie.
Let me explain. First, the woman running trusted her intuition enough to sense this was a bad guy. It moved quickly, and this guy acted fast by throwing her to the ground. And here’s the clincher – she then starts screaming (verbal self-defense) and kicking (physical self-defense). His response to her dual resistance measures – He gets up and runs away! Holy shit, this woman was victorious! Yet the headline in the paper reads, “Woman Jogger Attacked in Broad Daylight.”
How incredibly sad. Why, why, why are we not celebrating this? I have a better headline: “Woman Jogger Kicks Local Rapist Ass.” Or, “Moron Rapist Runs Away After Local Woman Unleashes an Estrogen Whooping.” In my version of the story, the reporter shares details of her victorious encounter, and the woman speaks of the importance of sticking up for yourself and that all women should have the right to go for a jog by themselves. Below a big, smiling picture of our heroine the article concludes with event details of the upcoming town parade in her honor.
Which version of the story keeps women down, and which version inspires them? Which version keeps women afraid to sleep alone or travel the world or doing great things in life? And which version makes our young girls find new role models or sign up for a local self-defense course?
Mysterious ass-kicking woman in Utah, today I celebrate you. And I applaud anyone with stories like hers that are too successful, and therefore too unsensational, to be given the credit they deserve.
Apr
20
Columbine
Filed Under Media, Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 3 Comments
Last week my friend Ross Szabo sent me an email with excerpts from a USA Today story about the “real facts” behind the Columbine shootings. Ross is the Director of Youth Outreach for the National Mental Health Awareness Campaign, and he’s constantly battling the stigmas of people living with mental health issues. His paths and mine cross often, as many cases that involve violence are often blamed on some degree of mental illness. Sometimes it’s true, but sometimes it’s more because people can’t believe that normal, sane individuals are capable of violence. Same goes for an Oprah show I saw last week about Internet child predators. A young woman named Alicia was lured at the age of 13 by a child predator, and held her captive for days – torturing her. She described her captor as a “monster.” I remember classifying the man who killed Shannon McNamara the same way in the early days. But Oprah quickly pointed out that when we label these people as something other than human, we stop seeking to understand them, and how to avoid their violent tactics. I couldn’t agree more.
In case you’re curious, here are some bullet points of “truths” about Columbine, many of which are contradictory to what you may have heard in the news. It’s only when we understand the facts that we can truly learn. Read the entire article here.
*Neither were not goths or loners.
*They were not on antidepressants.
*They did not target jocks, African Americans or Christians.
*Further proving this point, Eric Harris’s shirt 10 years ago today read “Natural Selection”
*The girl who was shot after saying she believed in God? It’s not true.
*The attack was intended to be a bombing, and to shoot people as they fled. (Obviously, the bombs didn’t work.)
*They had a list of “people to kill” but most had graduated. In actuality, they wanted to kill everyone – even friends.
On the Today Show this morning there were numerous people featured who started speaking, educating or getting active to remember those who were killed. While it’s good to try and understand violence in hopes of preventing future nightmares, it’s also crucial to support those left behind. When Shannon was murdered, I overheard her mom say, “It’s my greatest fear that now Shannon will be forgotten.” I’m sure the same applies to the families of Columbine victims. So take today and remember – and try to learn for a better and safer tomorrow.
Apr
15
Guns
Filed Under Random | 3 Comments
It was the year 2001 and I was at Sig Arms Academy in New Hampshire just two months after Shannon McNamara was murdered. It was the first time I ever learned to shoot a gun. I was there to get my peace back – because after staring into Shannon’s open casket, any feelings of security I’d ever known had vanished.
After hours of instruction on how the gun works, how to clean it, how to load it and memorizing safety procedures, we stood shoulder-to-shoulder in a line pointed at paper targets. I was shooting alongside some pretty bad-ass people, mostly military and law enforcement. Intimidation does not begin to describe how I felt, but I was simultaneously almost weak in the knees at the power I held in my hand. I couldn’t help but think, “I have the option, at this very moment, to turn to my training buddy and blow off his knee-cap.” Obviously that’s a sick and twisted thought, never in a million years would I do something like that. But it’s the true power of guns – the fact that you can. As my mentor Bob Martin always says, “Violence is the ultimate bargaining tool.”
When it comes to a person learning to protect oneself, I have taken a fairly neutral stand on exactly how people go about this. I’m more focused on inspiring women to make that first move and even think about learning to become their own best protector. Some women do this buy buying a DVD or reading a book or taking a self-defense class at a local martial arts studio. Others (especially my Southern gals in VA and TX) go and get a gun permit.
I’ve always been torn about guns as self-defense just because I clearly see both sides. On one hand, I believe we already have way too many guns on the streets illegally, many used to kill innocent people. On the other hand, people like Seung-Hui Cho (responsible for mass murders at Virginia Tech) went through the entire process to secure a firearm legally, and made purchases despite past medical records of mental instability. Kinda makes you think how that bloody day would have turned out if responsible people had guns to offer up any sort of resistance.
Therein lies the slippery slope of this debate. It’s almost like we have to make a choice – either everyone has a gun or nobody does. Banning guns from the street doesn’t seem like a realistic goal anytime soon. So does that leave just one option of an armed nation? Scary thought when you picture riots that periodically break out or a bad day of auto gridlock and road rage erupts.
Check out the above video of last Sunday’s episode of 60 minutes. I thought it was an interesting take on the issue. What’s your take on the future of gun ownership in America?
Apr
14
Susan Boyle
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I’m in the middle of finalizing my taxes, and starting to consider drinking bleach. For a math reject like myself, I’m not handling all these numbers too well. In an act of pure procrastination, I turned to Twitter to see what my buds were up to around the world. There, I noticed on the top trending topics of the day was a woman named Susan Boyle. Curious who she was, I clicked on it. The link launched a YouTube video of the television show, “Britain’s Got Talent.”
The clip starts with Susan Boyle, a 47-year old frumpy sort of woman from a very tiny village, stumbling through her words as she tries to introduce herself to Simon Cowell. His facial expression clearly conveys his inner dialogue of distaste, and cutaways to the audience show exactly what they are thinking too: Who the hell is this woman, and what makes her think in a million years she can be a singer?
Amidst their mockery, the music begins. Susan performs “I Dream the Dream” from Les Miserables. YouTube has disabled the ability to embed the video in this blog post, so please click here to procrastinate and watch her performance. It serves as a beautiful reminder that we all have dreams and we are all capable of them – even when it appears impossible on the surface. Enjoy.
Apr
13
Ellen Snortland
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 1 Comment
A few days ago I was chatting with my friend Ellen Snortland on the phone. Ellen is a speaker, author, actress, on the Board for Impact Safety in California and one of the first women to write a book about women’s self-defense. She and I were discussing many things, but one thing that struck me was a story she shared about women suffragists. Ellen is quite the women’s history buff, and she told me that public speaking was one of the most effective tools the suffragists used to lobby for a woman’s right to vote. Specifically these speakers went on speaking tours, focusing on less populated cities in the Midwest to spread the message of their campaign. I’ve always found public speaking to be very effective in communicating with women across the U.S. and it reaffirmed my belief that more of us need to get out there, grab a mic and share our stories and knowledge with one another. After researching this, I found that Susan B. Anthony specifically was an incredible speaker and was the movement’s unofficial spokeswoman.
But back to Ellen – Since I became involved in women’s self-defense back in 2001 I’ve had a few permanent books on my desk. As Girls Fight Back evolves, I turn to these old faithfuls to ground me in what ideals this company was built upon. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker is always a great reminder that each of us can (and should) trust our intuition when it comes to safety, relationships, life and business. The other book I always seem to turn to is Ellen’s book, Beauty Bites Beast. She recently returned from Brazil, where her book was just released in Portuguese! (See the YouTube video above, which is a film project based on Ellen’s book.)
People like Ellen, Eve Ensler and Lee Sinclair are so inspiring to me, because they are the leading the charge to make women’s safety education and self-defense a global issue. Yes, we have overwhelming problems with violence right here in our own back yards. But in countries where goats are more valuable than women, you can only imagine how much work we have ahead of us globally. Cheers for girl power everywhere!
Apr
9
Alcohol Awareness Month
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Did you know April is Alcohol Awareness Month? For those of you in High School, prom season is in full swing with graduation fast approaching. And for teen and college folk, this is the tail end of spring break too – also known for a little hard partying. If you’re over 21 and choose to drink, please do so responsibly and in moderation. A Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) of .08 is the legal limit to drive, but as your BAC increases, your ability to make smart choices decreases – especially as it relates to your personal safety and maintaining a safe environment for you and your friends.
COOL TOOL ALERT: Go to www.b4udrink.mobi from your cell phone to estimate your BAC!
The Century Council (a Safe Spring Break Tour sponsor) offers some sweet resources and information about drunk driving and underage drinking. Also search their database to find programs to fight underage drinking in your community or add a program of your own. Yes, you CAN make a difference!
So do me a favor – enjoy life and all these good times and warm weather to the fullest, but make responsible decisions regarding alcohol. Please? OK. Thanks.
Apr
8
NYC rape victim sues MTA
Filed Under Media, Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 5 Comments
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
This morning I saw the story above on the Today Show, featuring a young rape survivor named Maria recounting her horrific story of being raped by a stranger in a New York City subway in 2005. She tells a harrowing narrative of finding herself alone on a subway train at 2am and her intuition sending her serious dangers signals. After missing her stop, she gets off at the next one and the man follows her. She breaks into a run up the steps towards the exit, and he pulls her backwards down the stairwell. He rapes her at the bottom of the stairs.
But she wasn’t alone in the Subway station that night. As she ran up the steps to escape, there was an MTA attendant on duty and he locked eyes with her. He saw what was happening and called the authorities. He did not leave his booth and did not intervene beyond calling the emergency hotline for the MTA. Should he have done more?
Maria sued the MTA, claiming she blames the employee more than her rapist. She says the perpetrator had mental problems with no sense of reality and had no conscience, but the MTA worker did. She states she wasn’t expecting a physical intervention, but at least to yell over the intercom or do something more than hitting an emergency button. Is that too unreasonable to ask? In general, this begs the question, who was responsible for Maria’s safety that night?
Herein lies the great debate within the violence prevention community. Some say we should only be educating violent people to stop committing crimes – “We shouldn’t have to deal with violence or learn to protect ourselves in the first place – men should simply not attack women!” they say. Some are victim blamers – “What right did she have to be on a Subway at 2am by herself? And why didn’t she fight back?”, they marvel. Some agree with Maria and blame the bystander – “Why the hell didn’t he do more?”
I think this is the problem with violence prevention in America – there are so many different stances that oversimplify the issue. Men or women or good guys or bad guys alone will not end violence. It’s got to be a community effort. We must be responsible for ourselves, and be willing to take action on behalf of another – regardless if they are friend, foe or total stranger. Our education needs to reflect this, the younger the better in my opinion.
What do you think? Who is to blame, and should Maria win the lawsuit when she appeals?
Apr
6
Open Windows
Filed Under Random, Social Entrepreneurship | 2 Comments
It’s been awhile since I posted on my blog, mostly due to all the insane travel I’ve been doing. Soon I’ll be posting a photo album of the all the places I’ve been and the people I’ve met, but for now I want to address the things happening in our world. Many people who are in my network and who read this blog are what I call social entrepreneurs. You’re in the business of making this world a better place, and doing your best to make a living while doing so. While these hard economic times are difficult for all, they especially challenge the do-gooders. In the face of layoffs, funding cuts and foreclosures, it’s easy to lose sight of why we are on our respective missions.
Nearly everyone I know (myself included) has either personally or professionally been affected by these economic hard times, and it’s our challenge to see potential in this new reality. Not to be Pollyanna, but I sincerely believe (and have proof from my own life) that behind every closed door lies an open window. The breeze outside is warm and welcoming, as if to say, “Come see what new and fun opportunities I have waiting for you!” You then have three choices. #1: Look at the window in disbelief, assume it’s a farce and don’t investigate. #2: Walk to the window, stick your head out and think about scaling the rope ladder out – but are held back by your fear of heights. #3: Choose to believe the sun is shining brighter outside, and it’s time to find a new playground.
Times like these are bigger than tests of our finances. It’s a test of our faith. Faith in ourselves, in each other, in the future and in the possibility of taking this meager time to figure out a better way of doing business. As Gavin de Becker says in his book The Gift of Fear, “Americans worship logic.” We have a hard time believing anything without hard-core evidence that is guaranteed to come true. But if we look to the logic of stock markets or banks or government for reassurance right now, it’s not a pretty picture – and it probably won’t become one for quite awhile.
If a door in your life was just slammed shut, what is the open window beckoning you to do? If your business is down, perhaps this free time will allow you to re-vamp your website? If funding just got pulled from your non-profit, what fundraising strategies can you create to become more self-sufficient? If you just lost your job, what dream will this new-found free time allow you to pursue?
It’s all about the open windows. Look outside, take a deep breath, make the leap!
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