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May
26
Free GFB Seminar – June 6, 2009 in Estes Park!
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Estes Park welcomes Girls Fight Back to the public performance stage on Saturday June 6th! Come on out for a FREE, open to the public women’s safety and self-defense seminar. Our presentations combine cutting-edge safety tips, empowerment and a healthy dose of humor. We’ll help you see that fighting like a girl is a very good thing…then we’ll show you how! Learn more at http://girlsfightback.com. After the seminar, stick around for lunch, shopping, elk sightings and sunshine in gorgeous Estes Park, Colorado!
Click here to download an event flyer. Please post and spread the word! Here are the details…
FREE 90-minute GFB seminar!
Sat. June 6, 2009
11:00 am – 12:30 pm
@ the outdoor Performance Park Stage
417 W. Elkhorn Ave
Estes Park, CO 80517
Open to all ages!
FREE Admission!
FREE parking on-site!
FREE giveaways, live music and more!
This event is being sponsored by the Estes Valley Victim Advocates, and we encourage attendees to donate to this wonderful organization. *In the event of bad weather, the event will be moved to Estes Park High School. Please check out our Twitter page for any weather-related announcements the day of the event.
One last thing – EVVA is also looking for sponsors for this event. Is your business or family interested in backing this great day with a sponsorship of $25, $50 or $100? If so, please contact Annette at 970.577.9781.
Hope to see you there!
May
20
May E-Newsletter
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The Girls Fight Back e-Newsletter was sent today…view it online here, or just read the pasted message below.
Today I’m on the verge of a passing a mighty torch. At 7 months pregnant, my husband Peter and I are looking forward to meeting our little guy in August. That’s right – it’s a boy! I suppose God thought we already had too much girl power in this house. (And Peter probably agrees…)
This spring we hired 6 speakers to give the GFB seminar, and have booked 14 Fall events and 9 conferences. This is a new record! These new speakers will be attending the GFB Academy the first week of June. For almost a full week they will be studying the two things that scare most people into paralysis: Self-defense and public speaking. Brave souls!
Many people have asked me if I’m feeling sad in passing this torch, and the answer is a resounding “no.” Having six more speakers means we will reach six times as many people. Besides, for almost 8 years I have traveled the U.S. and spoke to over a half million women about how to become their own best protectors. No regrets! I published a book, produced a DVD, was named 2009 Best Female Performer by Campus Activites Magazine and have an incredible network on the web via our website, Facebook, Twitter and MySpace. Good work has been done, and I’m ready to lead the Mother Ship to her next big destination. I’d like to conclude with a story to summarize this point…
My final speaking engagement of the Spring ’09 Tour was an event sponsored by the Eastern Illinois University Alumni Association in Schaumburg. This was my farewell event until after the baby is born, and I was feeling a little uneasy at the thought of moving on. I wondered if this final seminar would bring some closure as I moved into a new role at Girls Fight Back…but I doubted it. Then someone’s face appeared in the audience, who was more special than words can say. It was Bobby McNamara.
For all these years since Bobby’s sister Shannon was murdered, he has not attended a Girls Fight Back seminar. It must have been too hard and too painful. He graduated high school the week before her murder, and endured so much loss at such a young age. His only sibling was taken too early, and Girls Fight Back must be a bittersweet reminder of that.
But there was Bobby, in the front row. I immediately knew this was a gift from Shannon. With the perfect timing only angels are capable of, she was telling me it was okay to move on, okay to train other people, that I had done my job and now it was time for a break and start a family of my own. In all my pregnant, hormonal glory, I fought back tears at the sight of him.
The seminar was great and the crowd was lovely. Afterwards Bobby approached me, and I was nervous. What if he didn’t like it, or was offended by something I said? But in an instant he put an end to all doubt. With tears in his eyes he simply said, “Thank you.” And then he hugged me. And it was done. Somehow, during the span of that sincere hug, I moved on to the next phase of my life. As Pete Seeger of The Byrds recorded in 1962:
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep.
So I will go forward, now with a team of people behind me, believing the final lyric of that song to be true…that there is a time for peace – I swear its not too late.
Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.
To book a Girls Fight Back seminar, call 1-866-432-2423.
**Offering discounted prices for seminars booked in Washington state, Oregon, California, Colorado, Illinois, Tennessee and North Carolina. Contact us for more information.**
May
15
Running safety for women
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Congrats to Lynne Marie Wanamaker on her first big published article! More than anything, I love that she doesn’t tell women to run with a group as her main safety tip. If you can run with a group that’s great. But with a typical woman’s schedule, finding a buddy simply isn’t always possible. Kudos Lynne on a job well done!
“Self-protection strategies for women who run”
I may have two karate black belts, but I am definitely a white-belt runner. But as a National Women’s Martial Arts Federation-certified self-defense instructor, I do have a leg up on strategies for keeping safe when I run.
It’s not that running is an especially dangerous activity. “Stranger-danger” is highly overblown — most women are not attacked by a menacing stranger, but by someone she knows (often an intimate partner). Still, running can put us into vulnerable situations. By thinking ahead we can make workout choices to further reduce the chance of assault. And all runners — male and female — can plan ahead to avoid and survive injury and accident.
Here’s my list of tips:
Be seen. Any time light is low-dawn, twilight, night, or inclement weather, reflective gear is de rigueur. This is one time that bilious phosphorescent yellow is a fashion “do.” You will be more visible to motor vehicles, and more memorable to neighborhood folks.
Keep in touch. If your running route is not within shouting distance of populated areas, carry a cellphone.
Prepare to show ID. Order a snazzy runner’s ID with your blood type and an inspirational quote — or shove an old driver’s license into your pocket. Either ensures that rescuers can locate loved ones if you are injured.
Leave an itinerary. Tell friends and family your favorite running routes, which one you’ll be taking today, and when you should return. I was appalled to realize recently that my sweet darling — a confirmed couch potato — has no idea where I disappear to when I walk out the door with my Sauconys on. Now I leave my itinerary on the dining room table.
Use all of your senses. Save the iPod for the gym. Use your eyes, ears, nose and intuition to remain aware of your surroundings. Trust yourself if something looks, smells, or feels fishy.
Be heard. If someone approaches you in a way that feels unsafe, use your strong voice and declarative statements: “That’s close enough,” or “Tell me what you want.” If they try to touch you or don’t respect the limit you set, yell your fool-head off. Don’t be afraid to make a scene in the service of keeping yourself safe.
Run. Always know where you are and where you can run for help. Save exploration of new trails for an afternoon hike with a group. When running alone, be sure you can sprint to a house or busy road. (If you experience an unexpected injury you will be glad that you don’t have far to go to find help.)
Fight. It is my sincere wish for every woman reading this that you never have to fight an attacker. But if you do, go for the most vulnerable parts of his body: the eyes, nose, throat, and knees. Consider taking a self-defense class to learn simple, effective fighting techniques.
Tell. If you are attacked, seek help immediately for your physical and emotional well-being. It is never your fault that someone made the criminal choice to assault you. By alerting someone you trust, you can heal your body and mind and you may be able to prevent an assault on another woman.
Lynne Marie Wanamaker is an AFAA certified personal fitness trainer who creates and teaches customized exercise programs for adults who want to be stronger and live longer. For more information visit her online at www.compassionateconditioning.com.
May
14
In the first week of June, I’m training 6 speakers to give the GFB seminars at schools, colleges and corporations across the country. They will be intensely trained that week in both self-defense, violence prevention education and public speaking. Their graduation is to give a live speaking engagement to an audience of women on June 6th, anytime in the morning or afternoon. These seminars must take place somewhere in Denver/Boulder, and ideally have a crowd of at least 20 people. These seminars are totally FREE! All we are asking for is feedback about the Speakers’ performance, and we’ll just need you to fill out a short evaluation form after the seminar is over.
We’re looking for venues and audiences to allow these speakers to strut their stuff. Know of any groups who would like this sort of thing? Any age females will work, as long as they are above 12 years old. Ideal groups may include: fitness groups, religious organizations, recent high school grads, girl scout troops, mom clubs, non-profits of any other group that can rally a bunch of women on a Saturday to open a can-o-whoop-ass.
Please call 1-866-432-2423 or e-mail us through this form if you have any leads. Thank you very much!
May
11
Crafting a 3 Minute Speech
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A friend recently asked me for advice on writing a speech, to be less than 3 minutes, at the Illinois state capitol about her experience raising her 23-year-old daughter with downs syndrome. No pressure, huh? Here are my top three tips for saying something impactful and leaving your audience wanting to take action in 180 seconds or less.
TIP #1 – SET A GOAL: What is the purpose of this speech? To educate? To inspire? Get funding? To pass a law? No matter who you’re speaking to, or for how long, always begin with the end in mind. On that note, consider stating your goal as the closing line of your speech. Example: “In conclusion, it’s my sincere hope that you will give my daughter’s amazing school for people with disabilities one million dollars.” So many people give great, moving speeches…and totally lose the opportunity to make the audience actually DO something because they never ask!
TIP #2 – USE STORIES: If you can think of a very short, simple yet profound anecdote, people connect with stories much quicker than facts or people just pouring their heart out. They need to understand why they should care. And frankly, you don’t have time to spare elaborating the who, what, when, where and why. A quick story will make the point.
TIP #3 – STAY POSITIVE: Especially when speaking about your own hard-knocks story, getting a law passed or trying to get funding, people in general prefer to help happy people more than complainers. It’s the typical way to go about things…to just bitch and moan. Personally, it’s not my style and I don’t think it accomplishes a goal of change. Inspire them to WANT to help, instead of trying to twist their arm by complaining for what is lacking.
**Note: This summer I’m launching a pretty cool training company for aspiring and professional speakers called Speaker School. Be on the lookout for more blog posts to help people learn how to use their voice for change in this world. Check out our website, follow us on Twitter and sign up for our Newsletter here: http://speakerschool.com
May
8
How to help a friend after violence
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Yesterday a student emailed me asking for tips on how to help her friend, who was very close with murdered Wesleyan University student Johanna Justin-Jinich. While everyone is different and has their own way of grieving, below are some things to keep in mind when trying to support your friend after a tragedy like this. I’m no grief counsleor, but I hear many stories of homicide in my line of work and I have personally lost a friend to homicide. So here are some things I’ve learned…
1. Don’t send flowers. I remember when my mother-in-law was battling cancer, she used to hate receiving flowers, especially ones with a strong scent. It reminded her of a funeral home. Flowers are often sent in sympathy, so some people can perceive them as constant reminders of the sadness in their life. If you want to send something, I suggest something caring but neutral, like a small basket of treats, a good book or a something else you know your friend would really enjoy based on his/her likes and hobbies. Personally, I’m a big fan of sending comfort things after violence, because a person often feels psychologically unsafe, even if there is no apparent safety threat. Gifts I’ve sent include really soft blankets, pretty journals and cookies/muffins that I personally baked and sent with a handwritten note.
2. Don’t recommend self-defense…yet. Many people refer women who have been touched by violence to the Girls Fight Back website. While I really appreciate the link love, usually people are not ready for ass kicking in the direct aftermath of a homicide. There are stages one must go through – denial, guilt, anger, depression – before making the upward turn towards hope. When you feel they are in a better place emotionally, recommend proactive options to start giving your friend her peace back – like a self-defense class. After the 2005 murder of Johns Hopkins University Alpha Phi President, Linda Trinh, I offered to donate a Girls Fight Back seminar to their chapter. We waited several months before holding that event, and by the time we did, the women were ready to laugh again and learn to fight. It was incredibly healing.
3. Avoid insensitive comments. People ususally say the wrong thing when they are trying to fill a silence. Silence is fine and actually quite normal when there is really nothing to say. (Often the case after a senseless killing like Johanna’s.) Silence is also a great opportunity for a good hug (if they want one – ask first) or verbal reassurance you are there for them. Don’t say things like, “You’ll get over it someday” or or “I wonder what she did to make him snap like that.” In general, now is not the time for finding the bright side or logic in a tragic event. It just sucks, period. Let that dark time be what it is, and know a light will show itself as people go through the grief process. If you want to say something, stick to unconditionally supportive phrases like “No matter what, I’m here for you” or “I will be calling to check up on you over the next few weeks.“ (I prefer telling people I will call them to check in, as opposed to telling them to they call me if they need anything. This takes the burden off them, and places it on me to reach out. And many grieving people don’t want to be a downer to their friends. How many times have you offered someone to call you if they need anything, and they actually took you up on it?)
I hope this helps. Thanks to Kendal for inspiring this post – your support will surely help your friend through this difficult time. My deepest sympathies to all who were affected by Johanna’s murder, as well other violent crimes.
May
6
Thank you Sponsors
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Well the Spring ’09 Girls Fight Back Tour is officially over, and it was quite a wild ride. It usually takes me a week to settle back home, digest my travels and write about them. A full tour re-cap and photo gallery is coming soon, but for now I wanted to thank the 3 stellar tour sponsors.
STA Travel, the world’s largest student and youth travel agency, prides itself on getting student travelers the best prices. They are constantly working with partners around the globe to get students, teachers, & anyone under 26 the cheapest, most flexible flights and top rated accommodations. STA gave a $100 coupon off a summer vacation to anyone who attended a GFB seminar during this tour – how cool is that? An extra special thanks to Carly Mills, Patrick Evans and Olivia Wong who helped make this tour a huge success.
Alpha Phi International Fraternity is a membership organization dedicated to promoting sisterhood, cultivating leadership, encouraging intellectual curiosity and advocating service. Alpha Phi develops character for a lifetime. OK, that’s their mission statement from their website, but I can say from personal experience that it’s actually true. I first met Shannon McNamara in the chapter room of Alpha Phi at Eastern Illinois University, and both our fates were sealed as sisters more than friends. In the aftermath of her murder, Alpha Phi quickly supported my efforts to start Girls Fight Back and they haven’t stopped since. A special thanks to Arden Schuman & Denise Reens for keeping the belief that we’re all worth fighting for.
The Century Council was founded 1991 and funded by distillers. They are a national, independent, not-for-profit organization headquartered in Arlington, Virginia and are on a crusade to fight drunk driving and stop underage drinking. They were especially supportive of the Stayin’ Alive on Spring Break programs I gave this tour, since these are the weeks that binge drinking and accidents soar. An extra big thank you to Leah Patten for her belief that we can educate young people to make smart decisions about alcohol and safety.
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