On my way to Pennsylvania last week, I opened my luggage, and found this note. (click on the image) Wha?? I guess I always pretended to believe that TSA didn’t actually look at my personal items and have opinions about it. Guess I was wrong. But at least he/she left a nice little note congratulating me on my book. (Which so happened to be one of the contents of my bag…) Thanks for your support and encouragement, TSA. Maybe next time I’ll add you to the acknowledgments.
On the way back from Cincinnatti on Saturday, I experienced the joy of educating some old men who work security about the purpose of breast pumps and how to effectively travel the nation while keeping milk at the proper temperature. When you have a baby as hungry as mine, that stuff is more valuable than gold! (No pump n’ dump for this mama…) Here was the conversation as I approached the security line:
Me: Hey, just so you know, a gallon of milk is coming through.
TSA dude #1: OK, I’ll perform a test to make sure that is, in fact, breast milk.
Me: Um, alright.
*Test is performed with strange device. Success!*
TSA dude #1: So, don’t you have to freeze that stuff?
Me: Well yes, eventually.
TSA dude #1: But it’s gotta stay cold, right? How do you do that? Oh wait, is this personal?
Me: Ugh, I guess it’s personal, but if you really want to know…I’ve been running a milk brewery in the back seat of my Chevy Cobalt this week. Got a cooler and ice from Wal-Mart, so it’s been chillin’.
TSA dude #1: But wait, where is your infant?
Me: Huh? The reason I’m pumping is because I don’t have my infant with me. He’s at home and I’m on a business trip.
TSA dude #1: *looks confused* I don’t get it. But OK, you’re clear to go.
Me: Great, thanks.
TSA dude #2: Miss! Stop right there!
Me: Whoa! What did I do?
TSA dude #2: Where is your infant?
Me: I just told that other guy, my infant isn’t with me…which is why I have a breast pump and a gallon of milk.
TSA dude #2: *looks extremely confused* I don’t get it.
TSA dude #1: *runs over* I cleared her. She can go.
TSA dude #2: But where’s the baby?
Me: *wondering why this is so hard to understand…trying not to make a mad face*
TSA dude #1: You can go.
Me: Um okay. *cautiously walks toward my gate, in fear I’m going to get tackled*
Is the concept of pumping breast milk really so hard to understand? What a debacle. Looking forward to my next air travel adventure in December!
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Crazy security people–If she had the baby with her, she wouldn’t have to pump the milk. Duh!
I had no idea that they could scan breast milk and verify it….I’m not sure if that is cool or creepy!
Wow. The note from TSA is CREEPY!
Seriously!!! I just burst out laughing, what is so hard to understand!
You are SO good to not go back and EXPLAIN it to them!
I am about to travel without my infant for the first time and I am preparing myself for any situation!
My own personal favorite is EVERY time i travel with my kids, I tell them ahead of time that my huge double jogger stroller won’t fit through the x-ray machine, yet every time, whilst I am holding 2 kids, some guy asks me to “just try” I say, “I know it doesn’t because I fly all the time with this stroller”, “yeah- but can you just try?” OMG!