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Here ye, here ye…Fight Back Productions (Girls Fight Back) is looking for some fabulous interns around the nation!  Specifically we’re seeking Events Interns in the states of: California, Colorado, Illinois, North Carolina, Oregon, Tennessee and Washington state.

Their main role is to organize and promote Girls Fight Back Second Saturday events. Second Saturdays are free, open to the public, women safety & self-defense seminars held in cities across the nation on every Second Saturday of each month starting in August 2009.  Interns will directly assist our professional Speakers who conduct these seminars with a wide variety of tasks, and will also work closely with staff at our headquarters in Colorado.

The ideal Events Intern is mature, responsible, works independently, enjoys networking and has a go-getter mentality.  He/She is willing to assist our Speakers in any way requested of them that pertain to all events. He/She believes in our mission, that all women have the right to defend themselves from violence in all forms…and that this education should be available to women regardless of age, race, religion or economic status.

Interns should be pursuing a college degree in the subject areas of: women’s studies, advocacy, business, non-profits, journalism, marketing, publicity, communications, advertising, fundraising, graphic design, web design or education.  Other majors may also apply.  Interns must receive college credit, and are not paid.

Responsibilities include, but are not limited to:
•    Determining a suitable Sponsor (non profit organization) for each monthly event
•    Secure a venue for Second Saturdays – gyms, auditoriums, libraries
•    Web publicity via Facebook, MySpace, the GFB website, etc.
•    Promote the event in the community via posters, flyers and networking events
•    Serve as Assistant to Speaker before, during and after the event
•    Assist in videotaping all events
•    Facilitate donations, raffle, distributing literature and merchandise sales
•    Be a friendly and welcoming face to all who attend the events

To apply, please e-mail your resume and a cover letter explaining your interest and qualifications to jobs@fightbackproductions.com.  We are looking to fill these positions immediately.  No phone calls please.

My book about college safety was first released as a self-published book in 2006. Since then, I’ve printed 2 more editions and last year the title was acquired by DK Publishing. This Fall, DK will be getting thousands of copies of the book into college classrooms to make safety on campus a top priority. A huge thanks to Mike Vaccaro at DK who is a true appreciator of girl power!

What is your favorite book cover design out of the 3 pictured above? (Click on the images to enlarge.)

Cast your vote by typing #1, #2 or #3 in the comments area.

It was 8 years ago today that Shannon McNamara was murdered. Since that day, so many of us were never the same again. In years past, I have dreaded this day. I’d feel anxiety for weeks before, accompanied by a dark depression for weeks afterward. Once we got past Shannon’s birthday on June 21st I’d start to feel better, and was normally back to my old self by 4th of July. But for the most part over the past 8 years, the entire month of June was dedicated to sleeping and crying and being pretty much a dark, sloppy mess.

But this year, things are different. There is too much light shining right now to let the darkness in. This year on this significant day, I still want to cry – but it’s happy tears because I have so much hope. This year I have a baby in my belly about 9 weeks from hatching. This year I have a team of 12 people working for Fight Back Productions. (Which encompasses Girls Fight Back, Students Fight Back and Women Fight Back – more on those coming soon…) This year, we will reach more people than ever with our message that each person in this world is WORTH FIGHTING FOR. And despite this being the hardest I have ever worked to make it all possible, I’m also sleeping more peacefully knowing that massive, global change is underway.

Next week I’ll be posting photos and videos of the incredible, first-ever Girls Fight Back Academy and I will introduce you to the marvelous women who will be representing us going forward. But for now, I just wanted to say that Shannon would be so proud of everything that has happened in her memory. She would be grateful that so many people are learning to prevent and fight back against the very situation that ended her life. She would be at peace knowing her short 21 years on this earth have left an eternity of change beyond her departure.

So I will leave you with this ancient Maori Proverb: “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”

Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.
Erin Weed

Estes Park welcomes Girls Fight Back to the public performance stage on Saturday June 6th!  Come on out for a FREE, open to the public women’s safety and self-defense seminar. Our presentations combine cutting-edge safety tips, empowerment and a healthy dose of humor.  We’ll help you see that fighting like a girl is a very good thing…then we’ll show you how!  Learn more at http://girlsfightback.com.  After the seminar, stick around for lunch, shopping, elk sightings and sunshine in gorgeous Estes Park, Colorado!

Click here to download an event flyer. Please post and spread the word!  Here are the details…

FREE 90-minute GFB seminar!
Sat. June 6, 2009
11:00 am – 12:30 pm
@ the outdoor Performance Park Stage
417 W. Elkhorn Ave
Estes Park, CO 80517
Open to all ages!
FREE Admission!
FREE parking on-site!
FREE giveaways, live music and more!

This event is being sponsored by the Estes Valley Victim Advocates, and we encourage attendees to donate to this wonderful organization. *In the event of bad weather, the event will be moved to Estes Park High School. Please check out our Twitter page for any weather-related announcements the day of the event.

One last thing – EVVA is also looking for sponsors for this event.  Is your business or family interested in backing this great day with a sponsorship of $25, $50 or $100?  If so, please contact Annette at 970.577.9781.

Hope to see you there!

The Girls Fight Back e-Newsletter was sent today…view it online here, or just read the pasted message below.

Today I’m on the verge of a passing a mighty torch.  At 7 months pregnant, my husband Peter and I are looking forward to meeting our little guy in August.  That’s right – it’s a boy!  I suppose God thought we already had too much girl power in this house. (And Peter probably agrees…)

This spring we hired 6 speakers to give the GFB seminar, and have booked 14 Fall events and 9 conferences. This is a new record!  These new speakers will be attending the GFB Academy the first week of June.  For almost a full week they will be studying the two things that scare most people into paralysis: Self-defense and public speaking. Brave souls!

Many people have asked me if I’m feeling sad in passing this torch, and the answer is a resounding “no.”  Having six more speakers means we will reach six times as many people. Besides, for almost 8 years I have traveled the U.S. and spoke to over a half million women about how to become their own best protectors. No regrets! I published a book, produced a DVD, was named 2009 Best Female Performer by Campus Activites Magazine and have an incredible network on the web via our website, Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.  Good work has been done, and I’m ready to lead the Mother Ship to her next big destination.  I’d like to conclude with a story to summarize this point…

My final speaking engagement of the Spring ’09 Tour was an event sponsored by the Eastern Illinois University Alumni Association in Schaumburg.  This was my farewell event until after the baby is born, and I was feeling a little uneasy at the thought of moving on.  I wondered if this final seminar would bring some closure as I moved into a new role at Girls Fight Back…but I doubted it.  Then someone’s face appeared in the audience, who was more special than words can say.  It was Bobby McNamara.

For all these years since Bobby’s sister Shannon was murdered, he has not attended a Girls Fight Back seminar.  It must have been too hard and too painful.  He graduated high school the week before her murder, and endured so much loss at such a young age. His only sibling was taken too early, and Girls Fight Back must be a bittersweet reminder of that.

But there was Bobby, in the front row. I immediately knew this was a gift from Shannon.  With the perfect timing only angels are capable of, she was telling me it was okay to move on, okay to train other people, that I had done my job and now it was time for a break and start a family of my own. In all my pregnant, hormonal glory, I fought back tears at the sight of him.

The seminar was great and the crowd was lovely.  Afterwards Bobby approached me, and I was nervous. What if he didn’t like it, or was offended by something I said? But in an instant he put an end to all doubt.  With tears in his eyes he simply said, “Thank you.” And then he hugged me.  And it was done.  Somehow, during the span of that sincere hug, I moved on to the next phase of my life.  As Pete Seeger of The Byrds recorded in 1962:

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep.

So I will go forward, now with a team of people behind me, believing the final lyric of that song to be true…that there is a time for peace – I swear its not too late.

Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.

To book a Girls Fight Back seminar, call 1-866-432-2423.

**Offering discounted prices for seminars booked in Washington state, Oregon, California, Colorado, Illinois, Tennessee and North Carolina. Contact us for more information.**

Congrats to Lynne Marie Wanamaker on her first big published article! More than anything, I love that she doesn’t tell women to run with a group as her main safety tip. If you can run with a group that’s great. But with a typical woman’s schedule, finding a buddy simply isn’t always possible. Kudos Lynne on a job well done!

“Self-protection strategies for women who run”

I may have two karate black belts, but I am definitely a white-belt runner. But as a National Women’s Martial Arts Federation-certified self-defense instructor, I do have a leg up on strategies for keeping safe when I run.

It’s not that running is an especially dangerous activity. “Stranger-danger” is highly overblown — most women are not attacked by a menacing stranger, but by someone she knows (often an intimate partner). Still, running can put us into vulnerable situations. By thinking ahead we can make workout choices to further reduce the chance of assault. And all runners — male and female — can plan ahead to avoid and survive injury and accident.

Here’s my list of tips:

Be seen. Any time light is low-dawn, twilight, night, or inclement weather, reflective gear is de rigueur. This is one time that bilious phosphorescent yellow is a fashion “do.” You will be more visible to motor vehicles, and more memorable to neighborhood folks.

Keep in touch. If your running route is not within shouting distance of populated areas, carry a cellphone.

Prepare to show ID. Order a snazzy runner’s ID with your blood type and an inspirational quote — or shove an old driver’s license into your pocket. Either ensures that rescuers can locate loved ones if you are injured.

Leave an itinerary. Tell friends and family your favorite running routes, which one you’ll be taking today, and when you should return. I was appalled to realize recently that my sweet darling — a confirmed couch potato — has no idea where I disappear to when I walk out the door with my Sauconys on. Now I leave my itinerary on the dining room table.

Use all of your senses. Save the iPod for the gym. Use your eyes, ears, nose and intuition to remain aware of your surroundings. Trust yourself if something looks, smells, or feels fishy.

Be heard. If someone approaches you in a way that feels unsafe, use your strong voice and declarative statements: “That’s close enough,” or “Tell me what you want.” If they try to touch you or don’t respect the limit you set, yell your fool-head off. Don’t be afraid to make a scene in the service of keeping yourself safe.

Run. Always know where you are and where you can run for help. Save exploration of new trails for an afternoon hike with a group. When running alone, be sure you can sprint to a house or busy road. (If you experience an unexpected injury you will be glad that you don’t have far to go to find help.)

Fight. It is my sincere wish for every woman reading this that you never have to fight an attacker. But if you do, go for the most vulnerable parts of his body: the eyes, nose, throat, and knees. Consider taking a self-defense class to learn simple, effective fighting techniques.

Tell. If you are attacked, seek help immediately for your physical and emotional well-being. It is never your fault that someone made the criminal choice to assault you. By alerting someone you trust, you can heal your body and mind and you may be able to prevent an assault on another woman.

Lynne Marie Wanamaker is an AFAA certified personal fitness trainer who creates and teaches customized exercise programs for adults who want to be stronger and live longer. For more information visit her online at www.compassionateconditioning.com.

In the first week of June, I’m training 6 speakers to give the GFB seminars at schools, colleges and corporations across the country. They will be intensely trained that week in both self-defense, violence prevention education and public speaking.  Their graduation is to give a live speaking engagement to an audience of women on June 6th, anytime in the morning or afternoon.  These seminars must take place somewhere in Denver/Boulder, and ideally have a crowd of at least 20 people.  These seminars are totally FREE!  All we are asking for is feedback about the Speakers’ performance, and we’ll just need you to fill out a short evaluation form after the seminar is over.

We’re looking for venues and audiences to allow these speakers to strut their stuff.  Know of any groups who would like this sort of thing?  Any age females will work, as long as they are above 12 years old.  Ideal groups may include: fitness groups, religious organizations, recent high school grads, girl scout troops, mom clubs, non-profits of any other group that can rally a bunch of women on a Saturday to open a can-o-whoop-ass.

Please call 1-866-432-2423 or e-mail us through this form if you have any leads.  Thank you very much!

A friend recently asked me for advice on writing a speech, to be less than 3 minutes, at the Illinois state capitol about her experience raising her 23-year-old daughter with downs syndrome.  No pressure, huh?  Here are my top three tips for saying something impactful and leaving your audience wanting to take action in 180 seconds or less.

TIP #1 – SET A GOAL:  What is the purpose of this speech?  To educate? To inspire? Get funding? To pass a law? No matter who you’re speaking to, or for how long, always begin with the end in mind.  On that note, consider stating your goal as the closing line of your speech. Example:  “In conclusion, it’s my sincere hope that you will give my daughter’s amazing school for people with disabilities one million dollars.” So many people give great, moving speeches…and totally lose the opportunity to make the audience actually DO something because they never ask!

TIP #2 – USE STORIES:  If you can think of a very short, simple yet profound anecdote, people connect with stories much quicker than facts or people just pouring their heart out.  They need to understand why they should care.  And frankly, you don’t have time to spare elaborating the who, what, when, where and why.  A quick story will make the point.

TIP #3 – STAY POSITIVE:  Especially when speaking about your own hard-knocks story, getting a law passed or trying to get funding, people in general prefer to help happy people more than complainers.  It’s the typical way to go about things…to just bitch and moan.  Personally, it’s not my style and I don’t think it accomplishes a goal of change. Inspire them to WANT to help, instead of trying to twist their arm by complaining for what is lacking.

**Note: This summer I’m launching a pretty cool training company for aspiring and professional speakers called Speaker School.  Be on the lookout for more blog posts to help people learn how to use their voice for change in this world. Check out our website, follow us on Twitter and sign up for our Newsletter here: http://speakerschool.com

Yesterday a student emailed me asking for tips on how to help her friend, who was very close with murdered Wesleyan University student Johanna Justin-Jinich.  While everyone is different and has their own way of grieving, below are some things to keep in mind when trying to support your friend after a tragedy like this.  I’m no grief counsleor, but I hear many stories of homicide in my line of work and I have personally lost a friend to homicide.  So here are some things I’ve learned…

1.  Don’t send flowers. I remember when my mother-in-law was battling cancer, she used to hate receiving flowers, especially ones with a strong scent.  It reminded her of a funeral home.  Flowers are often sent in sympathy, so some people can perceive them as constant reminders of the sadness in their life.  If you want to send something, I suggest something caring but neutral, like a small basket of treats, a good book or a something else you know your friend would really enjoy based on his/her likes and hobbies.  Personally, I’m a big fan of sending comfort things after violence, because a person often feels psychologically unsafe, even if there is no apparent safety threat.  Gifts I’ve sent include really soft blankets, pretty journals and cookies/muffins that I personally baked and sent with a handwritten note.

2.  Don’t recommend self-defense…yet. Many people refer women who have been touched by violence to the Girls Fight Back website.  While I really appreciate the link love, usually people are not ready for ass kicking in the direct aftermath of a homicide.  There are stages one must go through – denial, guilt, anger, depression – before making the upward turn towards hope.  When you feel they are in a better place emotionally, recommend proactive options to start giving your friend her peace back – like a self-defense class.  After the 2005 murder of Johns Hopkins University Alpha Phi President, Linda Trinh, I offered to donate a Girls Fight Back seminar to their chapter.  We waited several months before holding that event, and by the time we did, the women were ready to laugh again and learn to fight.  It was incredibly healing.

3.  Avoid insensitive comments. People ususally say the wrong thing when they are trying to fill a silence. Silence is fine and actually quite normal when there is really nothing to say. (Often the case after a senseless killing like Johanna’s.)  Silence is also a great opportunity for a good hug (if they want one – ask first) or verbal reassurance you are there for them.  Don’t say things like, “You’ll get over it someday” or or “I wonder what she did to make him snap like that.”  In general, now is not the time for finding the bright side or logic in a tragic event.  It just sucks, period.  Let that dark time be what it is, and know a light will show itself as people go through the grief process.  If you want to say something, stick to unconditionally supportive phrases like “No matter what, I’m here for you” or “I will be calling to check up on you over the next few weeks.“  (I prefer telling people I will call them to check in, as opposed to telling them to they call me if they need anything.  This takes the burden off them, and places it on me to reach out.  And many grieving people don’t want to be a downer to their friends.  How many times have you offered someone to call you if they need anything, and they actually took you up on it?)

I hope this helps.  Thanks to Kendal for inspiring this post – your support will surely help your friend through this difficult time.  My deepest sympathies to all who were affected by Johanna’s murder, as well other violent crimes.

Well the Spring ‘09 Girls Fight Back Tour is officially over, and it was quite a wild ride.  It usually takes me a week to settle back home, digest my travels and write about them.  A full tour re-cap and photo gallery is coming soon, but for now I wanted to thank the 3 stellar tour sponsors.

STA Travel, the world’s largest student and youth travel agency, prides itself on getting student travelers the best prices. They are constantly working with partners around the globe to get students, teachers, & anyone under 26 the cheapest, most flexible flights and top rated accommodations.  STA gave a $100 coupon off a summer vacation to anyone who attended a GFB seminar during this tour – how cool is that?  An extra special thanks to Carly Mills, Patrick Evans and Olivia Wong who helped make this tour a huge success.

Alpha Phi International Fraternity is a membership organization dedicated to promoting sisterhood, cultivating leadership, encouraging intellectual curiosity and advocating service. Alpha Phi develops character for a lifetime. OK, that’s their mission statement from their website, but I can say from personal experience that it’s actually true.  I first met Shannon McNamara in the chapter room of Alpha Phi at Eastern Illinois University, and both our fates were sealed as sisters more than friends. In the aftermath of her murder, Alpha Phi quickly supported my efforts to start Girls Fight Back and they haven’t stopped since.  A special thanks to Arden Schuman & Denise Reens for keeping the belief that we’re all worth fighting for.

The Century Council was founded 1991 and funded by distillers.  They are a national, independent, not-for-profit organization headquartered in Arlington, Virginia and are on a crusade to fight drunk driving and stop underage drinking.  They were especially supportive of the Stayin’ Alive on Spring Break programs I gave this tour, since these are the weeks that binge drinking and accidents soar.  An extra big thank you to Leah Patten for her belief that we can educate young people to make smart decisions about alcohol and safety.

So I must confess, I don’t give much credence to awards.  The Oscars? I don’t seem to have the mental or emotional depth to understand the movies that seem to win.  The Grammy’s?  Half the time I’ve never heard of the top winners, probably because I listen to too much Hall & Oates.  When M.I.A. busted out her pregnant self in that ladybug get-up at this year’s production, shock and awe quickly set in. Often it seems like awards can be bought for the right price, like it’s part of the advertising budget.

But the annual awards from Campus Activities Magazine is different, becuase it’s strictly determined on popular vote.  This year, over 47,000 students and college personnel voted on the best speakers, performers, booking agencies and entertainers.  I’ve been nominated before, but this year I won “Best Female Performer.”  After hearing the title of the award, I thought about adding juggling to my ass-kicking repertoire.  I guess I’ve just never thought of what I do as performing.  Hell, I barely think of it as professional speaking.  I just think of my job as a goofball women’s self-defense instructor who just so happens to address large crowds for a living.  Somehow thinking of my job in this way helped with stage fright in the early days.  Clearly the imagine-the-audience-in-their-underwear method didn’t have the desired effect.  Really, who came up with that technique?  It’s creepy.

It’s a real honor to receive this award, and I wanted to thank all my past clients and people who voted.  The fact that a women’s safety & self-defense act was chosen says a lot about how far we have come in bringing the message of girls fighting back into the mainstream.  I think Shannon would really dig it.  Just as I do each day, I thank her for giving me this mission, and the best is yet to come.  Click here to view all the awards online.

And of course, lastly, I’d like to thank the Academy.

Let me start this post by saying I’m a former TV producer. Many of my close friends work in the media, and I see it as a necessary vehicle for having an informed public.  But story headlines like this, when there is such a profound back-story, really honk me off: “Woman Jogger Attacked in Broad Daylight”

Click on the link above to read the whole story, and you’ll find facts that don’t quite match up to the scary headline.  Let me summarize.  A woman was jogging on a popular trail in Ogden, Utah and a man came out from the bushes.  Here’s the exact account she gave to the dispatcher:

“I was running down this trail and he kind of stepped out. I’m not sure where he was and he said ‘Hi how are you doing?’ and then he tried to throw me down on the ground and I started screaming and kicking at him and then he got up and ran away, ran down the trail.”

The article proceeds to describe her attacker and recommend jogging in groups.  The police hit the streets to inform women of the incident, scaring them to death and prompting females across Utah to start jogging with backpacks filled with self-defense tools like pepper spray and alarms.  Then they interview a local self-defense expert who points out these terrified women are making a mistake, because the likelihood of them having time to properly use these weapons is not good if they have to reach into their backpack.  He recommends women instead use a Sharpie-looking tool that’s actually a pointy weapon, or a small firearm.  I don’t know about you, but I love a good workout accompanied by a few pounds of lethal metal in my pocket.

None of this sounds shocking to most people, because it’s the boilerplate violence against women article you read in the media every day.  But can I just point out what REALLY happened here?  She was attacked and fought back! Using her best three weapons (intuition, voice and body) she regulated this guy. And she won! Give this gal a freakin’ gold medal, or at least a well-deserved chocolate chip cookie.

Let me explain.  First, the woman running trusted her intuition enough to sense this was a bad guy.  It moved quickly, and this guy acted fast by throwing her to the ground.  And here’s the clincher – she then starts screaming (verbal self-defense) and kicking (physical self-defense).  His response to her dual resistance measures – He gets up and runs away!  Holy shit, this woman was victorious!  Yet the headline in the paper reads, “Woman Jogger Attacked in Broad Daylight.”

How incredibly sad.  Why, why, why are we not celebrating this?  I have a better headline: “Woman Jogger Kicks Local Rapist Ass.”  Or, “Moron Rapist Runs Away After Local Woman Unleashes an Estrogen Whooping.”  In my version of the story, the reporter shares details of her victorious encounter, and the woman speaks of the importance of sticking up for yourself and that all women should have the right to go for a jog by themselves.  Below a big, smiling picture of our heroine the article concludes with event details of the upcoming town parade in her honor.

Which version of the story keeps women down, and which version inspires them?  Which version keeps women afraid to sleep alone or travel the world or doing great things in life?  And which version makes our young girls find new role models or sign up for a local self-defense course?

Mysterious ass-kicking woman in Utah, today I celebrate you.  And I applaud anyone with stories like hers that are too successful, and therefore too unsensational, to be given the credit they deserve.

Last week my friend Ross Szabo sent me an email with excerpts from a USA Today story about the “real facts” behind the Columbine shootings.  Ross is the Director of Youth Outreach for the National Mental Health Awareness Campaign, and he’s constantly battling the stigmas of people living with mental health issues.  His paths and mine cross often, as many cases that involve violence are often blamed on some degree of mental illness.  Sometimes it’s true, but sometimes it’s more because people can’t believe that normal, sane individuals are capable of violence.  Same goes for an Oprah show I saw last week about Internet child predators.  A young woman named Alicia was lured at the age of 13 by a child predator, and held her captive for days – torturing her.  She described her captor as a “monster.”  I remember classifying the man who killed Shannon McNamara the same way in the early days.  But Oprah quickly pointed out that when we label these people as something other than human, we stop seeking to understand them, and how to avoid their violent tactics.  I couldn’t agree more.

In case you’re curious, here are some bullet points of “truths” about Columbine, many of which are contradictory to what you may have heard in the news.  It’s only when we understand the facts that we can truly learn.  Read the entire article here.

*Neither were not goths or loners.
*They were not on antidepressants.
*They did not target jocks, African Americans or Christians.
*Further proving this point, Eric Harris’s shirt 10 years ago today read “Natural Selection”
*The girl who was shot after saying she believed in God?  It’s not true.
*The attack was intended to be a bombing, and to shoot people as they fled.  (Obviously, the bombs didn’t work.)
*They had a list of “people to kill” but most had graduated.  In actuality, they wanted to kill everyone – even friends.

On the Today Show this morning there were numerous people featured who started speaking, educating or getting active to remember those who were killed.  While it’s good to try and understand violence in hopes of preventing future nightmares, it’s also crucial to support those left behind.  When Shannon was murdered, I overheard her mom say, “It’s my greatest fear that now Shannon will be forgotten.” I’m sure the same applies to the families of Columbine victims.  So take today and remember – and try to learn for a better and safer tomorrow.

It was the year 2001 and I was at Sig Arms Academy in New Hampshire just two months after Shannon McNamara was murdered.  It was the first time I ever learned to shoot a gun.  I was there to get my peace back – because after staring into Shannon’s open casket, any feelings of security I’d ever known had vanished.

After hours of instruction on how the gun works, how to clean it, how to load it and memorizing safety procedures, we stood shoulder-to-shoulder in a line pointed at paper targets.  I was shooting alongside some pretty bad-ass people, mostly military and law enforcement.  Intimidation does not begin to describe how I felt, but  I was simultaneously almost weak in the knees at the power I held in my hand.  I couldn’t help but think, “I have the option, at this very moment, to turn to my training buddy and blow off his knee-cap.” Obviously that’s a sick and twisted thought, never in a million years would I do something like that.  But it’s the true power of guns – the fact that you can.  As my mentor Bob Martin always says, “Violence is the ultimate bargaining tool.”

When it comes to a person learning to protect oneself, I have taken a fairly neutral stand on exactly how people go about this.  I’m more focused on inspiring women to make that first move and even think about learning to become their own best protector.  Some women do this buy buying a DVD or reading a book or taking a self-defense class at a local martial arts studio.  Others (especially my Southern gals in VA and TX) go and get a gun permit.

I’ve always been torn about guns as self-defense just because I clearly see both sides.  On one hand, I believe we already have way too many guns on the streets illegally, many used to kill innocent people.  On the other hand, people like Seung-Hui Cho (responsible for mass murders at Virginia Tech) went through the entire process to secure a firearm legally, and made purchases despite past medical records of mental instability.  Kinda makes you think how that bloody day would have turned out if responsible people had guns to offer up any sort of resistance.

Therein lies the slippery slope of this debate.  It’s almost like we have to make a choice – either everyone has a gun or nobody does.  Banning guns from the street doesn’t seem like a realistic goal anytime soon.  So does that leave just one option of an armed nation?  Scary thought when you picture riots that periodically break out or a bad day of auto gridlock and road rage erupts.

Check out the above video of last Sunday’s episode of 60 minutes.  I thought it was an interesting take on the issue.  What’s your take on the future of gun ownership in America?

I’m in the middle of finalizing my taxes, and starting to consider drinking bleach.  For a math reject like myself, I’m not handling all these numbers too well.  In an act of pure procrastination, I turned to Twitter to see what my buds were up to around the world.  There, I noticed on the top trending topics of the day was a woman named Susan Boyle.  Curious who she was, I clicked on it.  The link launched a YouTube video of the television show, “Britain’s Got Talent.”

The clip starts with Susan Boyle, a 47-year old frumpy sort of woman from a very tiny village, stumbling through her words as she tries to introduce herself to Simon Cowell.  His facial expression clearly conveys his inner dialogue of distaste, and cutaways to the audience show exactly what they are thinking too:  Who the hell is this woman, and what makes her think in a million years she can be a singer?

Amidst their mockery, the music begins.  Susan performs “I Dream the Dream” from Les Miserables.  YouTube has disabled the ability to embed the video in this blog post, so please click here to procrastinate and watch her performance.  It serves as a beautiful reminder that we all have dreams and we are all capable of them – even when it appears impossible on the surface.  Enjoy.

A few days ago I was chatting with my friend Ellen Snortland on the phone.  Ellen is a speaker, author, actress, on the Board for Impact Safety in California and one of the first women to write a book about women’s self-defense. She and I were discussing many things, but one thing that struck me was a story she shared about women suffragists.  Ellen is quite the women’s history buff, and she told me that public speaking was one of the most effective tools the suffragists used to lobby for a woman’s right to vote.  Specifically these speakers went on speaking tours, focusing on less populated cities in the Midwest to spread the message of their campaign.  I’ve always found public speaking to be very effective in communicating with women across the U.S. and it reaffirmed my belief that more of us need to get out there, grab a mic and share our stories and knowledge with one another.  After researching this, I found that Susan B. Anthony specifically was an incredible speaker and was the movement’s unofficial spokeswoman.

But back to Ellen – Since I became involved in women’s self-defense back in 2001 I’ve had a few permanent books on my desk.  As Girls Fight Back evolves, I turn to these old faithfuls to ground me in what ideals this company was built upon.  The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker is always a great reminder that each of us can (and should) trust our intuition when it comes to safety, relationships, life and business. The other book I always seem to turn to is Ellen’s book, Beauty Bites Beast. She recently returned from Brazil, where her book was just released in Portuguese!  (See the YouTube video above, which is a film project based on Ellen’s book.)

People like Ellen, Eve Ensler and Lee Sinclair are so inspiring to me, because they are the leading the charge to make women’s safety education and self-defense a global issue. Yes, we have overwhelming problems with violence right here in our own back yards.  But in countries where goats are more valuable than women, you can only imagine how much work we have ahead of us globally. Cheers for girl power everywhere!

Did you know April is Alcohol Awareness Month? For those of you in High School, prom season is in full swing with graduation fast approaching. And for teen and college folk, this is the tail end of spring break too – also known for a little hard partying.  If you’re over 21 and choose to drink, please do so responsibly and in moderation. A Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) of .08 is the legal limit to drive, but as your BAC increases, your ability to make smart choices decreases – especially as it relates to your personal safety and maintaining a safe environment for you and your friends.

COOL TOOL ALERT: Go to www.b4udrink.mobi from your cell phone to estimate your BAC!

The Century Council (a Safe Spring Break Tour sponsor) offers some sweet resources and information about drunk driving and underage drinking. Also search their database to find programs to fight underage drinking in your community or add a program of your own.  Yes, you CAN make a difference!

So do me a favor – enjoy life and all these good times and warm weather to the fullest, but make responsible decisions regarding alcohol. Please? OK. Thanks.

This morning I saw the story above on the Today Show, featuring a young rape survivor named Maria recounting her horrific story of being raped by a stranger in a New York City subway in 2005.  She tells a harrowing narrative of finding herself alone on a subway train at 2am and her intuition sending her serious dangers signals.  After missing her stop, she gets off at the next one and the man follows her.  She breaks into a run up the steps towards the exit, and he pulls her backwards down the stairwell.  He rapes her at the bottom of the stairs.

But she wasn’t alone in the Subway station that night.  As she ran up the steps to escape, there was an MTA attendant on duty and he locked eyes with her.  He saw what was happening and called the authorities.  He did not leave his booth and did not intervene beyond calling the emergency hotline for the MTA.  Should he have done more?

Maria sued the MTA, claiming she blames the employee more than her rapist.  She says the perpetrator had mental problems with no sense of reality and had no conscience, but the MTA worker did. She states she wasn’t expecting a physical intervention, but at least to yell over the intercom or do something more than hitting an emergency button.  Is that too unreasonable to ask?  In general, this begs the question, who was responsible for Maria’s safety that night?

Herein lies the great debate within the violence prevention community.  Some say we should only be educating violent people to stop committing crimes – “We shouldn’t have to deal with violence or learn to protect ourselves in the first place – men should simply not attack women!” they say.  Some are victim blamers – “What right did she have to be on a Subway at 2am by herself? And why didn’t she fight back?”, they marvel.  Some agree with Maria and blame the bystander – “Why the hell didn’t he do more?”

I think this is the problem with violence prevention in America – there are so many different stances that oversimplify the issue.  Men or women or good guys or bad guys alone will not end violence.  It’s got to be a community effort.  We must be responsible for ourselves, and be willing to take action on behalf of another – regardless if they are friend, foe or total stranger.  Our education needs to reflect this, the younger the better in my opinion.

What do you think?  Who is to blame, and should Maria win the lawsuit when she appeals?

It’s been awhile since I posted on my blog, mostly due to all the insane travel I’ve been doing.  Soon I’ll be posting a photo album of the all the places I’ve been and the people I’ve met, but for now I want to address the things happening in our world.  Many people who are in my network and who read this blog are what I call social entrepreneurs.  You’re in the business of making this world a better place, and doing your best to make a living while doing so.  While these hard economic times are difficult for all, they especially challenge the do-gooders.  In the face of layoffs, funding cuts and foreclosures, it’s easy to lose sight of why we are on our respective missions.

Nearly everyone I know (myself included) has either personally or professionally been affected by these economic hard times, and it’s our challenge to see potential in this new reality.  Not to be Pollyanna, but I sincerely believe (and have proof from my own life) that behind every closed door lies an open window.  The breeze outside is warm and welcoming, as if to say, “Come see what new and fun opportunities I have waiting for you!” You then have three choices. #1: Look at the window in disbelief, assume it’s a farce and don’t investigate.  #2: Walk to the window, stick your head out and think about scaling the rope ladder out – but are held back by your fear of heights.  #3: Choose to believe the sun is shining brighter outside, and it’s time to find a new playground.

Times like these are bigger than tests of our finances.  It’s a test of our faith.  Faith in ourselves, in each other, in the future and in the possibility of taking this meager time to figure out a better way of doing business.  As Gavin de Becker says in his book The Gift of Fear, “Americans worship logic.”  We have a hard time believing anything without hard-core evidence that is guaranteed to come true.  But if we look to the logic of stock markets or banks or government for reassurance right now, it’s not a pretty picture – and it probably won’t become one for quite awhile.

If a door in your life was just slammed shut, what is the open window beckoning you to do? If your business is down, perhaps this free time will allow you to re-vamp your website?  If funding just got pulled from your non-profit, what fundraising strategies can you create to become more self-sufficient?  If you just lost your job, what dream will this new-found free time allow you to pursue?

It’s all about the open windows.  Look outside, take a deep breath, make the leap!

Today I was interviewed by the Christian Science Monitor about spring break trips to Mexico right now.  The main question was, “Should students simply avoid Mexico because of the drug wars?”  Personally, I think that might be a bit extreme.  That’s like saying, “Most attacks against women happen at night, therefore you should never go out after dark.”  The thing is, life is risk.  Crime and violence are something we must live with for now, until we find a way to make everyone agree a peaceful world is the way to go.  So until that eutopian society emerges, let’s get smart, get empowered and make informed choices.

Furthermore, there’s nothing I hate more than people telling young women to make choices stemming from fear. So many women I meet on the road are truly paralyzed in their life out of fearing for their personal safety.  It’s sad, and you have to wonder what great contributions are being held back from a nation of incredible women becuase we’re scared of our shadows! Think about it.  What places have you not seen out of fear?  What experiences have you missed out of fear?  Most women have at least one big regret in this department.

That being said, let’s not make choices out of ignorance either.  No matter what life issue at hand, I believe it’s always good to be educated.  Do your homework.  Read up on your options, and make conscious decisions.  Whether this is about health or finance or real estate or safety, know the facts before you leap.  So if you’re thinking about heading to Mexico, I highly recommend you turn to the Internet.  The Bureau of Consular Affairs does a good job of keeping its pulse on all the contries in the world.  Click here to read about the safety precautions and the spots to avoid in Mexico right now.

As I write this now, I’m in sunny Flordida.  Travel is your friend!  Wishing you all happy journeys and safe returns.

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