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The 9th Annual Girls Fight Back for Shannon Mac Fundraiser is officially announced, and we are very excited for it. This year all funds raised will be donated to a non-profit organization we are currently setting up called the Girls Fight Back Foundation. The Foundation is being created and run by our outstanding team of GFB Speakers: Jaime, Megan, Michaela and Heather. The focus of this organization will be to create a network of GFB Clubs at schools and colleges across the USA (and someday go global), which will promote women’s safety and self-defense education for young women. Here are the deets on the event:

What: Fundraiser for the Girls Fight Back Foundation
Host: Kate Lotz & Erin Weed
Start Time: Saturday, March 20 at 8:00pm
End Time: Saturday, March 20 at midnight
Where: Slugger’s (across from Wrigley Field)
3540 North Clark Street
Chicago, IL 60657
Cost: $30 which includes all well drinks, domestic beer, wine and soda

If you’re unable to attend, donations can be made to “Girls Fight Back Foundation” and mailed to:
Girls Fight Back!
4800 Baseline Rd.
Suite E104 #286
Boulder, CO 80303

We are seeking volunteers to help plan, promote & fundraise! Please email info@girlsfightback.com for details.

Girls Fight Back started in Hoboken, New Jersey in 2001 at a place called The Bar at 10th and Willow.  Why a bar, you ask?  Because the manager – a guy named Mario – had 7 sisters, believed in what I was doing and gave me the space for free.  After getting certified by the American Women’s Self Defense Association as an instructor, I began holding weekend classes in the bar, and women all over the tri-state area attended.  I remember banging on Mario’s apartment door at 10 am, so he’d let me into the bar to start class.  (He went to bed at 6 am on weekends, so he probably cursed my name a lot those mornings…)

Today I’m excited to announce a new partnership with Denver’s coolest yoga hot spot, Spiral Yoga & Wellness.  Starting November 21st, I will be teaching a 2-hour women’s self-defense workshop at Spiral once a month. (Normally the workshops will take place on the 2nd Saturday of each month – except for the first one in November, which is the 3rd Saturday.)  Then in January 2010 I’ll start teaching an ongoing self-defense class every Wednesday night from 7 – 8:30 pm. (Whoop-Ass Wednesdays)  These weekly classes are structured like yoga.  Pay as you go, $15 per class, come every week or just once a month…no contracts, so you decide! (Note: You must attend one of our 2-hour workshops as a pre-requisite before starting weekly classes with me in January.  This way, all students will begin the classes with an understanding of verbal self-defense, prevention strategies and other basic fundamentals. If you can’t make the Nov. 21 workshop, be sure to attend the one on December 12.)

Teaching again is very exciting for me.  For the past few years I’ve been mostly speaking, writing and traveling.  My average crowd size tends to be in the hundreds, sometimes even more than a thousand.  But getting back to the basics, teaching a small group of spirited women and girls…well, I find this invigorating.  I hope you’ll join me…please spread the word.  Space is limited!  Here are details for the first workshop:

Saturday, Nov. 21, 2009
2:00 – 4:00 pm
@ Spiral Yoga & Wellness
4106 Tejon Street
Denver, CO 80211
$20 per person (women/girls ages 12 and up)
Click here for details and registration

Tonight I know that somewhere, an angel was smiling down upon us.  In 3 different states (Ohio, Texas and Virginia) this evening, 3 of my speakers were giving Girls Fight Back seminars.  These events took place at Old Dominion University, Baylor University and Ohio State.  Wow.  To think that a year ago, I was in the thick of my Fall Speaking Tour, living on airplanes and wondering how I could possibly find people to help me expand the company.  I was exhausted, over-exposed and stressed.  I lay awake many nights knowing I had to seek and train young women to help me conduct the presentations, but how?  This seems to be the common thread in companies that grow.  Each has a CEO that lays awake wondering how the hell it’s all gonna go down, trying their best to ward off nightly panic attacks…

For me, the fire was lit under my ass to begin this expansion after finding out I was pregnant.  Not only did I want to expand our company, but at that point I absolutely had to!  Full knowing I’d be out of commission while on maternity leave, the plans began for finding some incredible young women to carry the torch.  That was November 2008, and by January 2009 we had speaker applications circulating on the web.  They were due in April 2009, and then we had a whirlwind of interviews, video submissions, in-person meetings and finally the GFB Academy in June.  That was probably the most inspiring week of my life, because with my own eyes I started to see what was possible.

And here we are today, just 3 months later.  Fight Back Productions (the parent company of Girls Fight Back, since we now give seminars for other demographics besides young women) is rockin’ and the speakers are making me proud.  Last year at this time, I was jet-setting around the nation, on stage in front of hundreds of people every night and blogging about my wild adventures.  What a difference a year makes – Today I was excited to get out of the house and go to Walgreens by myself and get a flu shot.  Ah, the joys of new motherhood…but I wouldn’t have it any other way.  My life, our company, this mission…we’re all damn blessed.

Check out the Fight Back Blog to read about the events tonight…and maybe some pictures too!

Message from the August e-Newsletter…

The other night my husband and I went out for Thai food, and had a lovely dinner on the outdoor deck.  The sun was setting on a very productive day, and I had gotten many things crossed off my to-do list.  At the completion of the meal, our server brought us fortune cookies.  And let me tell you – I love fortune cookies.  Yes, they taste good, but I’m also a big believer in fate and subtle (or not so subtle) messages that are dropped in our laps.  (Or in this case, show up in our food.)  I always take my fortune cookie messages very seriously.

This night was no exception. Perhaps with everything going on right now, I built it up more than usual. With the busiest Fall Tour we’ve ever planned starting in September, and our first baby due next week, I am open to all the wisdom I can get.  As I cracked the cookie in half with nervous trepidation, I hoped it would rock my world.  And it said…

“About time I got out of that cookie.”

Really? A fortune cookie with a sense of humor? How fitting. And that’s when I knew this is the message I needed most. To relax, to live, to laugh…and to trust in the simple idea that everything is alright in good time.

Because things over here are better than alright…let me bring you up to speed on a few things.  First off, in June I trained a team of incredible speakers who will be carrying out all presentations this Fall while I’m on maternity leave.  You can meet them all by watching this brand new video on YouTube.

Second, you probably noticed we changed our official name to Fight Back Productions.  This came about as customers began asking for educational programs for female employees (Women Fight Back) and for mixed gender audiences at colleges (Students Fight Back).  It was time to develop a larger umbrella organization beyond Girls Fight Back that would be the home for all our educational programs.  And so it was…

Third, we are currently planning our biggest and busiest Fall Tour to date.  Please see the tour stops at right to see if we’re coming to a city near you.  If your school, college or business would like to book a stop on the tour, we offer discounts if you book when our speakers are in your area.  And if you work for a business that might be interested in becoming a tour sponsor, please contact us for an info packet.

So that’s the scoop! Until next time…I’m sending you simple joys and lots of  good fortune.

Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.

Here ye, here ye…Fight Back Productions (Girls Fight Back) is looking for some fabulous interns around the nation!  Specifically we’re seeking Events Interns in the states of: California, Colorado, Illinois, North Carolina, Oregon, Tennessee and Washington state.

Their main role is to organize and promote Girls Fight Back Second Saturday events. Second Saturdays are free, open to the public, women safety & self-defense seminars held in cities across the nation on every Second Saturday of each month starting in August 2009.  Interns will directly assist our professional Speakers who conduct these seminars with a wide variety of tasks, and will also work closely with staff at our headquarters in Colorado.

The ideal Events Intern is mature, responsible, works independently, enjoys networking and has a go-getter mentality.  He/She is willing to assist our Speakers in any way requested of them that pertain to all events. He/She believes in our mission, that all women have the right to defend themselves from violence in all forms…and that this education should be available to women regardless of age, race, religion or economic status.

Interns should be pursuing a college degree in the subject areas of: women’s studies, advocacy, business, non-profits, journalism, marketing, publicity, communications, advertising, fundraising, graphic design, web design or education.  Other majors may also apply.  Interns must receive college credit, and are not paid.

Responsibilities include, but are not limited to:
•    Determining a suitable Sponsor (non profit organization) for each monthly event
•    Secure a venue for Second Saturdays – gyms, auditoriums, libraries
•    Web publicity via Facebook, MySpace, the GFB website, etc.
•    Promote the event in the community via posters, flyers and networking events
•    Serve as Assistant to Speaker before, during and after the event
•    Assist in videotaping all events
•    Facilitate donations, raffle, distributing literature and merchandise sales
•    Be a friendly and welcoming face to all who attend the events

To apply, please e-mail your resume and a cover letter explaining your interest and qualifications to jobs@fightbackproductions.com.  We are looking to fill these positions immediately.  No phone calls please.

My book about college safety was first released as a self-published book in 2006. Since then, I’ve printed 2 more editions and last year the title was acquired by DK Publishing. This Fall, DK will be getting thousands of copies of the book into college classrooms to make safety on campus a top priority. A huge thanks to Mike Vaccaro at DK who is a true appreciator of girl power!

What is your favorite book cover design out of the 3 pictured above? (Click on the images to enlarge.)

Cast your vote by typing #1, #2 or #3 in the comments area.

Estes Park welcomes Girls Fight Back to the public performance stage on Saturday June 6th!  Come on out for a FREE, open to the public women’s safety and self-defense seminar. Our presentations combine cutting-edge safety tips, empowerment and a healthy dose of humor.  We’ll help you see that fighting like a girl is a very good thing…then we’ll show you how!  Learn more at http://girlsfightback.com.  After the seminar, stick around for lunch, shopping, elk sightings and sunshine in gorgeous Estes Park, Colorado!

Click here to download an event flyer. Please post and spread the word!  Here are the details…

FREE 90-minute GFB seminar!
Sat. June 6, 2009
11:00 am – 12:30 pm
@ the outdoor Performance Park Stage
417 W. Elkhorn Ave
Estes Park, CO 80517
Open to all ages!
FREE Admission!
FREE parking on-site!
FREE giveaways, live music and more!

This event is being sponsored by the Estes Valley Victim Advocates, and we encourage attendees to donate to this wonderful organization. *In the event of bad weather, the event will be moved to Estes Park High School. Please check out our Twitter page for any weather-related announcements the day of the event.

One last thing – EVVA is also looking for sponsors for this event.  Is your business or family interested in backing this great day with a sponsorship of $25, $50 or $100?  If so, please contact Annette at 970.577.9781.

Hope to see you there!

The Girls Fight Back e-Newsletter was sent today…view it online here, or just read the pasted message below.

Today I’m on the verge of a passing a mighty torch.  At 7 months pregnant, my husband Peter and I are looking forward to meeting our little guy in August.  That’s right – it’s a boy!  I suppose God thought we already had too much girl power in this house. (And Peter probably agrees…)

This spring we hired 6 speakers to give the GFB seminar, and have booked 14 Fall events and 9 conferences. This is a new record!  These new speakers will be attending the GFB Academy the first week of June.  For almost a full week they will be studying the two things that scare most people into paralysis: Self-defense and public speaking. Brave souls!

Many people have asked me if I’m feeling sad in passing this torch, and the answer is a resounding “no.”  Having six more speakers means we will reach six times as many people. Besides, for almost 8 years I have traveled the U.S. and spoke to over a half million women about how to become their own best protectors. No regrets! I published a book, produced a DVD, was named 2009 Best Female Performer by Campus Activites Magazine and have an incredible network on the web via our website, Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.  Good work has been done, and I’m ready to lead the Mother Ship to her next big destination.  I’d like to conclude with a story to summarize this point…

My final speaking engagement of the Spring ’09 Tour was an event sponsored by the Eastern Illinois University Alumni Association in Schaumburg.  This was my farewell event until after the baby is born, and I was feeling a little uneasy at the thought of moving on.  I wondered if this final seminar would bring some closure as I moved into a new role at Girls Fight Back…but I doubted it.  Then someone’s face appeared in the audience, who was more special than words can say.  It was Bobby McNamara.

For all these years since Bobby’s sister Shannon was murdered, he has not attended a Girls Fight Back seminar.  It must have been too hard and too painful.  He graduated high school the week before her murder, and endured so much loss at such a young age. His only sibling was taken too early, and Girls Fight Back must be a bittersweet reminder of that.

But there was Bobby, in the front row. I immediately knew this was a gift from Shannon.  With the perfect timing only angels are capable of, she was telling me it was okay to move on, okay to train other people, that I had done my job and now it was time for a break and start a family of my own. In all my pregnant, hormonal glory, I fought back tears at the sight of him.

The seminar was great and the crowd was lovely.  Afterwards Bobby approached me, and I was nervous. What if he didn’t like it, or was offended by something I said? But in an instant he put an end to all doubt.  With tears in his eyes he simply said, “Thank you.” And then he hugged me.  And it was done.  Somehow, during the span of that sincere hug, I moved on to the next phase of my life.  As Pete Seeger of The Byrds recorded in 1962:

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep.

So I will go forward, now with a team of people behind me, believing the final lyric of that song to be true…that there is a time for peace – I swear its not too late.

Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.

To book a Girls Fight Back seminar, call 1-866-432-2423.

**Offering discounted prices for seminars booked in Washington state, Oregon, California, Colorado, Illinois, Tennessee and North Carolina. Contact us for more information.**

In the first week of June, I’m training 6 speakers to give the GFB seminars at schools, colleges and corporations across the country. They will be intensely trained that week in both self-defense, violence prevention education and public speaking.  Their graduation is to give a live speaking engagement to an audience of women on June 6th, anytime in the morning or afternoon.  These seminars must take place somewhere in Denver/Boulder, and ideally have a crowd of at least 20 people.  These seminars are totally FREE!  All we are asking for is feedback about the Speakers’ performance, and we’ll just need you to fill out a short evaluation form after the seminar is over.

We’re looking for venues and audiences to allow these speakers to strut their stuff.  Know of any groups who would like this sort of thing?  Any age females will work, as long as they are above 12 years old.  Ideal groups may include: fitness groups, religious organizations, recent high school grads, girl scout troops, mom clubs, non-profits of any other group that can rally a bunch of women on a Saturday to open a can-o-whoop-ass.

Please call 1-866-432-2423 or e-mail us through this form if you have any leads.  Thank you very much!

Well the Spring ‘09 Girls Fight Back Tour is officially over, and it was quite a wild ride.  It usually takes me a week to settle back home, digest my travels and write about them.  A full tour re-cap and photo gallery is coming soon, but for now I wanted to thank the 3 stellar tour sponsors.

STA Travel, the world’s largest student and youth travel agency, prides itself on getting student travelers the best prices. They are constantly working with partners around the globe to get students, teachers, & anyone under 26 the cheapest, most flexible flights and top rated accommodations.  STA gave a $100 coupon off a summer vacation to anyone who attended a GFB seminar during this tour – how cool is that?  An extra special thanks to Carly Mills, Patrick Evans and Olivia Wong who helped make this tour a huge success.

Alpha Phi International Fraternity is a membership organization dedicated to promoting sisterhood, cultivating leadership, encouraging intellectual curiosity and advocating service. Alpha Phi develops character for a lifetime. OK, that’s their mission statement from their website, but I can say from personal experience that it’s actually true.  I first met Shannon McNamara in the chapter room of Alpha Phi at Eastern Illinois University, and both our fates were sealed as sisters more than friends. In the aftermath of her murder, Alpha Phi quickly supported my efforts to start Girls Fight Back and they haven’t stopped since.  A special thanks to Arden Schuman & Denise Reens for keeping the belief that we’re all worth fighting for.

The Century Council was founded 1991 and funded by distillers.  They are a national, independent, not-for-profit organization headquartered in Arlington, Virginia and are on a crusade to fight drunk driving and stop underage drinking.  They were especially supportive of the Stayin’ Alive on Spring Break programs I gave this tour, since these are the weeks that binge drinking and accidents soar.  An extra big thank you to Leah Patten for her belief that we can educate young people to make smart decisions about alcohol and safety.

A few days ago I was chatting with my friend Ellen Snortland on the phone.  Ellen is a speaker, author, actress, on the Board for Impact Safety in California and one of the first women to write a book about women’s self-defense. She and I were discussing many things, but one thing that struck me was a story she shared about women suffragists.  Ellen is quite the women’s history buff, and she told me that public speaking was one of the most effective tools the suffragists used to lobby for a woman’s right to vote.  Specifically these speakers went on speaking tours, focusing on less populated cities in the Midwest to spread the message of their campaign.  I’ve always found public speaking to be very effective in communicating with women across the U.S. and it reaffirmed my belief that more of us need to get out there, grab a mic and share our stories and knowledge with one another.  After researching this, I found that Susan B. Anthony specifically was an incredible speaker and was the movement’s unofficial spokeswoman.

But back to Ellen – Since I became involved in women’s self-defense back in 2001 I’ve had a few permanent books on my desk.  As Girls Fight Back evolves, I turn to these old faithfuls to ground me in what ideals this company was built upon.  The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker is always a great reminder that each of us can (and should) trust our intuition when it comes to safety, relationships, life and business. The other book I always seem to turn to is Ellen’s book, Beauty Bites Beast. She recently returned from Brazil, where her book was just released in Portuguese!  (See the YouTube video above, which is a film project based on Ellen’s book.)

People like Ellen, Eve Ensler and Lee Sinclair are so inspiring to me, because they are the leading the charge to make women’s safety education and self-defense a global issue. Yes, we have overwhelming problems with violence right here in our own back yards.  But in countries where goats are more valuable than women, you can only imagine how much work we have ahead of us globally. Cheers for girl power everywhere!

Above is a video done by bestselling author, David Meerman Scott, about his new book, World Wide Rave.  David interviewed me for his book, about some of the fun things we’ve done using cell phones during GFB seminars to promote self-defense to young women.  So what IS a world wide rave, exactly?  From the book’s website:  “A World Wide Rave is when people around the world are talking about you, your company, and your products. Whether you’re located in San Francisco, Dubai, or Reykjavík, it’s when global communities eagerly link to your stuff on the Web. It’s when online buzz drives buyers to your virtual doorstep. And it’s when tons of fans visit your Web site and your blog because they genuinely want to be there.”

We strive to create a global rave such as this with Girls Fight Back, by making our work to end violence against women accessible on the web.  We have some big plans in the coming year for sprucing up the GFB website with a ton of personal safety and self-defense info that can be accessed by anyone, anywhere in the world, for free.  We’re hoping this will continue the buzz that women are worth fighting for…and it’s time for each of us to have the skills to do so.

A big thanks to David for believing in our mission, and we wish him the best of luck with the release of his book!  You can buy it here.  Watch the video above to see a pretty hilarious cameo, by yours truly.  You can’t miss it.

Today we sent out the Girls Fight Back E-news, with some very big announcements.  I am in Virginia now, and gotta hop in the car and drive up to Pennsylvania.  Hope you enjoy all our latest developments!  Click here to read the e-news.

I’m very excited to say that I’ve officially joined forces with an awesome booking agency called Bass/Schuler Entertainment!  Going forward, Bass/Schuler will be booking all my speaking engagements.  After weeks of phone chats to make sure this was a good fit for all, I finally got the opportunity to meet Chris Schuler (co-owner) and the incredible team of speakers and artists at the NACA Conference in Nashville this week.  (See us pictured at left) What a talented and hilarious team!  With all the new and exciting growth that’s planned for this year with Girls Fight Back, this is a pretty incredible business partnership.

FYI, Bass/Schuler has been nominated “Agency of the Year” by Campus Activities Magazine.  They deserve it, so please click here to cast your vote.

My schedule is pretty full for March, but we’re offering a discounted speaking fee for events that occur during the month of April.  As you probably know, April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and probably the best possible time to bring women’s safety and empowerment to campus.  Please call Bass/Schuler at 773.481.2600 to book me to speak, or visit their website by clicking here.

***FYI, April is my farewell tour.  Come May, I won’t be traveling by air as I’ll be in the final trimester of my pregnancy.  So last chance to book me to speak ’till I’m off maternity leave in late October…

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, and have so much going on.  So here’s a quick update, until I can make some significant 2009 announcements.  In mid-January my husband and I jetted off to Cabo San Lucas for a week of R&R.  Cabo is an interesting place, and definitely got me into the mode for thinking about safe spring break seminars I’ll be conducting at colleges in February.  This place was party-town, mostly comprised of people in their 50s and 60s.  They were total rock stars, and I thought more than once, “I wonder if your kids knew you just took a shot of tequila poured down your throat by the random bartender.” Conversely when I visit spring break hot spots every March, I’m always thinking, “I wonder if your parents know…”  But overall, it was a good trip and I think all of us need time away now and again to just zone out, dream and re-connect with loved ones.

What made this trip even better was the fact that frequent flier miles bought the flights and our hotel was bought in a charity auction for Sungate Kids last year.  This is an amazing non-profit that conducts forensic interviews of abused children in the safety of a cute little yellow house. The interviews are videotaped, in hopes to prevent the kids from having to take the stand in court and have to confront their abusers.  Kudos to my good friend, Diana Goldberg, who is the Exec. Director and is doing such tremendous work.

On the flight back to Denver from Mexico, I was hit with a stomach virus like no other.  It was insane, and of course kicked into high gear at 30,000 feet.  Nothing is quite as glorious as ralphing in an airport bathroom.  I had one day to recover, and then was back on an airplane to New York City.  I gave my first speaking engagement of the year at Shippensburg University, and the following day had a meeting at the Times Square headquarters for SELF magazine.  Girls Fight Back and SELF are cookin’ up some big ideas, so stay tuned.  Spent this past weekend in the mountains enjoying picturesque falling snow, hot chocolate and loved ones.  Now Monday is here, had a great meeting about ideas for campus safety initatives with Pearson Higher Education, and am hoping to get back into my regular blogging routine.  So that’s the scoop…wishing you a great week.  Before I go, a quick little quotation for you as January soon comes to a close…don’t forget to set your intentions for 2009!

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
~Oprah Winfrey

Over the next few weeks we are working to finalize corporate sponsors for the Girls Fight Back Spring ‘09 Tour.  We’re looking for successful companies and associations who promote a healthy image and message for women who are looking to support a highly visible, empowering and educational series of 30 events around the country.  Sponsors will receive publicity and media exposure, in addition to reaching approximately 20,000 students at the live events.  A packet of information describing the sponsorships in detail is available to interested companies.  Please contact us to have one e-mailed to you.

About two weeks ago, I sent out an online survey in regards to the Summer 2009 Girls Fight Back Conference we’ve been planning.  I met with countless hotels and conference venues here in Colorado, and found some excellent prospects.  It was coming time to get serious, save dates and sign contracts.  While I felt the feedback during the Fall Tour about this conference was overwhelmingly positive, my team and I decided to ask our peeps for more specifics about what they were looking for in this training opportunity.  I’m glad we asked, because we received feedback that changes our original vision, starting with WHERE this conference should be held.  Here’s what 100 women surveyed from across the nation had to say:

93% of women were interested in attending a GFB Conference, focused on safety & self-defense for women, and held over a weekend in Summer 2009.

63% said they were not willing (mostly for financial reasons) to travel to Denver for the conference.  32% said they would make the trip.

The top cities suggested as alternative locations (in order of popularity): Chicago, New York tri-state area and Washington DC.

Many people suggested having multiple training conferences, held regionally.

June was cited as the best summer month to hold a conference like this.

Downtown, in a larger city, was named as the preferred setting.

People weren’t overly concerned about becoming GFB certified instructors.  They expressed wanting to simply train and learn with GFB, with certification not being a major factor.

77% of responses stated the training needs to be $200 or less per person.  45% would pay up to $350 and 16% would pay up to $450.

65% felt social activities outside the conference were “somewhat important” followed by 30% who felt social is “very important.”

The top 5 subject areas of breakout sessions include (in order of popularity): Basic self-defense, rape & sexual assault prevention, date (acquaintance) rape, assertiveness/boundary setting and self-esteem/self-confidence.

53% want lunch provided by the conference, 39% want breakfast provided and 28% want all meals provided.

We’re going to take the next few weeks to make some decisions using this data, and will post more information as soon as it’s available.  At this point, it’s looking like regional conferences might be a better bet, and possibly keeping the trainings to one day (instead of a full weekend) in an effort to keep down conference costs and travel fees.  I’m also wondering if 2010 might be a better idea, since 2009 is right around the corner! If you have ideas, please comment below…now is a very crucial time in planning these trainings and we are listening!  P.S. – For anyone who plans events or ever needs to collect feedback to make educated decisions, go to Survey Monkey and send out surveys for free!  It’s an incredibly valuable tool.

Today’s article by Paula Span in the Washington Post hit on a big issue for the feminist and women’s safety/self-defense community.  (Click here to read it)  The writer talks about attending a kickboxing class taught by a woman who uses ‘girly’ language and visualizations when teaching punches and groin strikes.  Instead of explaining a right hook to nail someone square in the jaw, she has the class re-enact “clearing off their dresser.”  Instead of kneeing a rapist to the groin, she has the class act as if they are “doing yard work and breaking sticks over their knees…so hard that the neighbors look at them funny.”  Paula explains most of the class is middle age, none of them too interested in causing pain, disability or death in anyone…possibly not even to someone threatening their personal safety.  So this method of teaching kickboxing works for her classmates.  They are learning the moves, but not threatening their fragile feminine psyche. <sarcasm> Let me also note: Kickboxing is not self-defense, and should not be confused with training that prepares you to fight back in a truly violent confrontation.

In the women’s self-defense community, we walk a very fine line.  Convey the fighting material too lightly, and people don’t take it seriously.  You also run the risk of a woman not being emotionally or mentally prepared for a real attack, and then freezes under the adrenal stress in a real situation.  Furthermore, as women, can’t we handle a little tough talk?  Feminists from the 1970s must be throwing a fit over this article, to insinuate women need such a soft touch in learning life skills.  But if you teach too hard-core, you run the risk of turning the women off…and possibly never learning about self-defense again out of fear of taking a class. I’ve seen this many times at countless self-defense courses around the nation.  A bad-ass instructor doesn’t mince words, and you can actually see the faces of the women in the audience gloss over and they shut down.

Most instructors in the world will tell you it’s very difficult to make a living teaching personal safety and self-defense.  Unless you twist in fitness or black belt achievement, most women simply aren’t interested.  How do we make women realize how much they need this training, how important it is to understand intuition and fear, even if it makes you uncomfortable?  And after we help women understand this, how do we ensure they act upon it and take a class?  That’s the hardest part…the action and then the follow-through.  When I owned a self-defense studio in New Jersey, we’d have full classes signed up weeks in advance of the class start date, only for half to cancel the day before the first night of the course.  Yeah, life gets crazy.  But self-defense seems to always fall to the bottom of our to-do lists for so many personal and emotional reasons too.

There isn’t an easy answer for getting this training to women, but I think the women’s self-defense community has to come together, each of us offering our niche speciaities.  For example, at Girls Fight Back we have found a niche of providing one-time, 90 minute, live seminars at high schools and colleges using humor and empowerment.  While our seminar is intended to be introductory, our message throughout is to sign up for a class in their geographic area.  For free, we supply a vast list of women’s self-defense classes around the nation where our audiences can sign up.  Is this system perfect?  No. Do I wish we could teach each of the 100,000 women I speak in front of each year true down ‘n dirty instruction that could save their life?  You bet.  But our niche is connecting with young women, making safety and self-defense appear unthreatening and “cool” within their social norms…then providing them with resources to take the next step.  It’s just one tiny piece of the big puzzle. What’s you’re niche?  And how can we work together to solve this social issue?

As we develop our vision for 2009, keep this  mantra in mind:  “Know what you are, know what you’re not.”  Regardless of what industry you are in, you can never be all things to all people.  What makes you different or special?  What do you enjoy?  What audiences seem to really connect with you?  Who do you connect with?  Concentrate on them…they are your niche.  Once you find them, start partnering with people in other niches, and that’s when real change starts to happen.

As many of you know, we’ve been planning our first-ever Girls Fight Back conference for Summer 2009.  And since it’s our first time planning an event like this, it’s been a learning experience.  I have new respect for event and meeting planners after many weeks of meetings and site tours. Talking to hotels and convention centers has filled us with endless possibilities, but it’s also making our heads spin a bit.

So we decided to give the power to the people.  Click here to take a quick, 10-question, anonymous survey about our first conference. Even if you don’t want to attend, or cannot afford it this year…we want to hear that as well.  Girls Fight Back has limited staff time and resources, and we only want to organize this conference if people really want it. Thanks for your particpation, and feel free to send the link to friends.  The more responses, the more educated our planning process can be.

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