Sep
17
September e-News
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September 2009 Monthly e-News from Fight Back Productions
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September is National Campus Safety Awareness Month, but many co-eds haven’t felt so secure lately. The recent murder of 24-year-old pharmacology student, Annie Le, at Yale University has shocked the nation. America had been watching for days as the search for Annie took place, which many hoped was due to ‘cold feet’ in anticipation of her upcoming nuptials. But sadly, her body was discovered this past Sunday, which was supposed to be her wedding day. The layers of tragedy seem endless, and my heart goes out to Annie’s family.
When campus crimes like this make national news, I get a flood of emails from concerned parents of college students. The query is usually the same: “How can I keep my child safe while on campus?” To answer this question, I pulled together my favorite campus safety tips and created a FREE campus safety fact sheet. (Click here to view the e-news and download the PDF) In observance of National Campus Safety Awareness Month, will you please forward it to anyone attending college or who loves a college student? Feel free to make copies and distribute widely!
My advice to parents and students alike is to start a conversation about campus safety. As a guide, check out my book: Girls Fight Back! The College Girl’s Guide to Protecting Herself. It’s the only book out there just for young women on campus, and I hope it helps female co-eds avoid bad situations…and fight back if necessary. Get FREE SHIPPING ON BOOKS if you order by 5 pm EST tomorrow (Friday). We can ship directly to your favorite college girl as a back-to-school gift, and all books will be autographed by me. Enter the coupon code CAMPUS to redeem this special offer. Click here to buy the book.
And in case you were wondering, I finally gave birth! On August 18, 2009 we welcomed a baby boy named Miles Patrick into the world. He was 8 lbs, 4 oz and 22 inches long. I finally understand the amazing, protective, unconditional love that only parents can have for their kids…
Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.
Erin Weed
Aug
3
The official definition of the word victimization is: to make a victim of. The definition of re-victimization is: again anew. Often in the anti-violence community, re-victimization is the concept of a child who endures emotional abuse as a child, will then find themselves in emotionally abusive relationships as an adult. That’s why so often, violence is referred to as a cycle, which goes round and round…
So when I read this article in the Huffington Post today, I couldn’t help but think the same theory applies here. Take a victim of rape, who makes the brave decision to go to the hospital and have an exam performed to collect evidence in hopes of catching and prosecuting her attacker. After being sexually violated in the most vile way, you can only imagine the trauma that an invasive vaginal exam can have on a woman. And that’s not the re-victimization part yet…that’s just what she has to go through in order to get her second dose of hell.
No, the re-victimization I’m speaking of is being doled out by state governments in sending a bill to rape victims to actually pay for their exam! Here is a segment from the article:
Congress created the Violence Against Women Act to protect victims and encourage them to report rapes. The law known as VAWA has forced many states to crack down on billing problems. But ambiguities in the law still allow a remarkable disparity in the legal system: Some rape victims, unlike victims of other crimes, have to pay for basic evidence collection. “We never ask a robbery victim to pay for the cost of fingerprints,” said Sarah Tofte, a researcher with Human Rights Watch, which has been tracking how states comply with VAWA.
“As a victim recovers from her assault, the last thing she needs is a bill for her exam,” said Katherine Hull, a spokeswoman for the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. “Rape is not something you can budget for.”
Overall, I believe this is a national disgrace and we need to do something about it. Most of the work we do at Fight Back Productions is focused on the proactive or preventative measures a woman can take to avoid becoming a victim. But we cannot turn a blind eye to the fact that violence is happening NOW and we need to take care of people who have been affected by it NOW.
Take action! Get familiar with the Violence Against Women Act by reading up at Wikipedia.
Or…
Visit the RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) website to learn more about getting involved in the role of DNA testing for victims of rape.
Jul
21
Chris Brown
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Yesterday I watched the video apology of Chris Brown, for assaulting Rhianna this past February. I’m all for forgiveness and allowing people to make mistakes without raking them over the coals for the rest of eternity, but this video struck me as incredibly insincere. Perhaps it was the script, or blaming things on his gaggle of attorneys or the perfect lighting for the video shoot. All the parts fused together looked like one big performance. But it got me thinking, is this something you can truly apologize for anyway?
Several years ago when I was still reeling from losing my friend Shannon McNamara to homicide, I found some solace in watching documentaries and real-life shows about murder. In many of these films, the killer was caught and brought to justice. And in many of those instances, there was a tearful apology from the accused to the family for taking their loved one. Sometimes the killer even recognized the almost insulting act of saying “I’m sorry” for taking the ultimate gift of LIFE. In Shannon’s case, we never got an apology or an admittance of guilt, but I doubt it would have made much difference anyway.
Domestic violence and murder are not the same crime. However, according to the National Women Abuse Prevention Project, thirty-four percent of the women homicide victims over age 15 are killed by their husbands, ex-husbands or boyfriends. (So physical assault can lead to a lethally violent outcome.) But yesterday as I watched Chris say he had been such a good guy up ’till the moment he beat his girl, I had to wonder if Rhianna and countless women who have been battered by their partners felt as insulted as I did. Apologies are great when you’re late for a meeting or stain a borrowed sweater. But when you try to throw your girlfriend out of a car? When you smash her head into a window? When you punch her in the eye? When you repeatedly punch her in the face, WHILE driving a car? When you utter the words “Now I’m really going to kill you” after all of this? Oh, it keeps going…read the full police report by clicking here.
I’m sorry Chris Brown…but your apology just doesn’t cut it for me. You need serious help.
Apr
22
Media Rant
Filed Under Erin Weed's Blog, In the News, Safety & Self-Defense | 6 Comments
Let me start this post by saying I’m a former TV producer. Many of my close friends work in the media, and I see it as a necessary vehicle for having an informed public. But story headlines like this, when there is such a profound back-story, really honk me off: “Woman Jogger Attacked in Broad Daylight”
Click on the link above to read the whole story, and you’ll find facts that don’t quite match up to the scary headline. Let me summarize. A woman was jogging on a popular trail in Ogden, Utah and a man came out from the bushes. Here’s the exact account she gave to the dispatcher:
“I was running down this trail and he kind of stepped out. I’m not sure where he was and he said ‘Hi how are you doing?’ and then he tried to throw me down on the ground and I started screaming and kicking at him and then he got up and ran away, ran down the trail.”
The article proceeds to describe her attacker and recommend jogging in groups. The police hit the streets to inform women of the incident, scaring them to death and prompting females across Utah to start jogging with backpacks filled with self-defense tools like pepper spray and alarms. Then they interview a local self-defense expert who points out these terrified women are making a mistake, because the likelihood of them having time to properly use these weapons is not good if they have to reach into their backpack. He recommends women instead use a Sharpie-looking tool that’s actually a pointy weapon, or a small firearm. I don’t know about you, but I love a good workout accompanied by a few pounds of lethal metal in my pocket.
None of this sounds shocking to most people, because it’s the boilerplate violence against women article you read in the media every day. But can I just point out what REALLY happened here? She was attacked and fought back! Using her best three weapons (intuition, voice and body) she regulated this guy. And she won! Give this gal a freakin’ gold medal, or at least a well-deserved chocolate chip cookie.
Let me explain. First, the woman running trusted her intuition enough to sense this was a bad guy. It moved quickly, and this guy acted fast by throwing her to the ground. And here’s the clincher – she then starts screaming (verbal self-defense) and kicking (physical self-defense). His response to her dual resistance measures – He gets up and runs away! Holy shit, this woman was victorious! Yet the headline in the paper reads, “Woman Jogger Attacked in Broad Daylight.”
How incredibly sad. Why, why, why are we not celebrating this? I have a better headline: “Woman Jogger Kicks Local Rapist Ass.” Or, “Moron Rapist Runs Away After Local Woman Unleashes an Estrogen Whooping.” In my version of the story, the reporter shares details of her victorious encounter, and the woman speaks of the importance of sticking up for yourself and that all women should have the right to go for a jog by themselves. Below a big, smiling picture of our heroine the article concludes with event details of the upcoming town parade in her honor.
Which version of the story keeps women down, and which version inspires them? Which version keeps women afraid to sleep alone or travel the world or doing great things in life? And which version makes our young girls find new role models or sign up for a local self-defense course?
Mysterious ass-kicking woman in Utah, today I celebrate you. And I applaud anyone with stories like hers that are too successful, and therefore too unsensational, to be given the credit they deserve.
Apr
20
Columbine
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Last week my friend Ross Szabo sent me an email with excerpts from a USA Today story about the “real facts” behind the Columbine shootings. Ross is the Director of Youth Outreach for the National Mental Health Awareness Campaign, and he’s constantly battling the stigmas of people living with mental health issues. His paths and mine cross often, as many cases that involve violence are often blamed on some degree of mental illness. Sometimes it’s true, but sometimes it’s more because people can’t believe that normal, sane individuals are capable of violence. Same goes for an Oprah show I saw last week about Internet child predators. A young woman named Alicia was lured at the age of 13 by a child predator, and held her captive for days – torturing her. She described her captor as a “monster.” I remember classifying the man who killed Shannon McNamara the same way in the early days. But Oprah quickly pointed out that when we label these people as something other than human, we stop seeking to understand them, and how to avoid their violent tactics. I couldn’t agree more.
In case you’re curious, here are some bullet points of “truths” about Columbine, many of which are contradictory to what you may have heard in the news. It’s only when we understand the facts that we can truly learn. Read the entire article here.
*Neither were not goths or loners.
*They were not on antidepressants.
*They did not target jocks, African Americans or Christians.
*Further proving this point, Eric Harris’s shirt 10 years ago today read “Natural Selection”
*The girl who was shot after saying she believed in God? It’s not true.
*The attack was intended to be a bombing, and to shoot people as they fled. (Obviously, the bombs didn’t work.)
*They had a list of “people to kill” but most had graduated. In actuality, they wanted to kill everyone – even friends.
On the Today Show this morning there were numerous people featured who started speaking, educating or getting active to remember those who were killed. While it’s good to try and understand violence in hopes of preventing future nightmares, it’s also crucial to support those left behind. When Shannon was murdered, I overheard her mom say, “It’s my greatest fear that now Shannon will be forgotten.” I’m sure the same applies to the families of Columbine victims. So take today and remember – and try to learn for a better and safer tomorrow.
Apr
8
NYC rape victim sues MTA
Filed Under Erin Weed's Blog, In the News, Safety & Self-Defense | 5 Comments
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This morning I saw the story above on the Today Show, featuring a young rape survivor named Maria recounting her horrific story of being raped by a stranger in a New York City subway in 2005. She tells a harrowing narrative of finding herself alone on a subway train at 2am and her intuition sending her serious dangers signals. After missing her stop, she gets off at the next one and the man follows her. She breaks into a run up the steps towards the exit, and he pulls her backwards down the stairwell. He rapes her at the bottom of the stairs.
But she wasn’t alone in the Subway station that night. As she ran up the steps to escape, there was an MTA attendant on duty and he locked eyes with her. He saw what was happening and called the authorities. He did not leave his booth and did not intervene beyond calling the emergency hotline for the MTA. Should he have done more?
Maria sued the MTA, claiming she blames the employee more than her rapist. She says the perpetrator had mental problems with no sense of reality and had no conscience, but the MTA worker did. She states she wasn’t expecting a physical intervention, but at least to yell over the intercom or do something more than hitting an emergency button. Is that too unreasonable to ask? In general, this begs the question, who was responsible for Maria’s safety that night?
Herein lies the great debate within the violence prevention community. Some say we should only be educating violent people to stop committing crimes – “We shouldn’t have to deal with violence or learn to protect ourselves in the first place – men should simply not attack women!” they say. Some are victim blamers – “What right did she have to be on a Subway at 2am by herself? And why didn’t she fight back?”, they marvel. Some agree with Maria and blame the bystander – “Why the hell didn’t he do more?”
I think this is the problem with violence prevention in America – there are so many different stances that oversimplify the issue. Men or women or good guys or bad guys alone will not end violence. It’s got to be a community effort. We must be responsible for ourselves, and be willing to take action on behalf of another – regardless if they are friend, foe or total stranger. Our education needs to reflect this, the younger the better in my opinion.
What do you think? Who is to blame, and should Maria win the lawsuit when she appeals?
Dec
27
Kickboxing Like A Girl
Filed Under Erin Weed's Blog, Girls Fight Back!, In the News, Safety & Self-Defense, Social Entrepreneurship | 8 Comments
Today’s article by Paula Span in the Washington Post hit on a big issue for the feminist and women’s safety/self-defense community. (Click here to read it) The writer talks about attending a kickboxing class taught by a woman who uses ‘girly’ language and visualizations when teaching punches and groin strikes. Instead of explaining a right hook to nail someone square in the jaw, she has the class re-enact “clearing off their dresser.” Instead of kneeing a rapist to the groin, she has the class act as if they are “doing yard work and breaking sticks over their knees…so hard that the neighbors look at them funny.” Paula explains most of the class is middle age, none of them too interested in causing pain, disability or death in anyone…possibly not even to someone threatening their personal safety. So this method of teaching kickboxing works for her classmates. They are learning the moves, but not threatening their fragile feminine psyche. <sarcasm> Let me also note: Kickboxing is not self-defense, and should not be confused with training that prepares you to fight back in a truly violent confrontation.
In the women’s self-defense community, we walk a very fine line. Convey the fighting material too lightly, and people don’t take it seriously. You also run the risk of a woman not being emotionally or mentally prepared for a real attack, and then freezes under the adrenal stress in a real situation. Furthermore, as women, can’t we handle a little tough talk? Feminists from the 1970s must be throwing a fit over this article, to insinuate women need such a soft touch in learning life skills. But if you teach too hard-core, you run the risk of turning the women off…and possibly never learning about self-defense again out of fear of taking a class. I’ve seen this many times at countless self-defense courses around the nation. A bad-ass instructor doesn’t mince words, and you can actually see the faces of the women in the audience gloss over and they shut down.
Most instructors in the world will tell you it’s very difficult to make a living teaching personal safety and self-defense. Unless you twist in fitness or black belt achievement, most women simply aren’t interested. How do we make women realize how much they need this training, how important it is to understand intuition and fear, even if it makes you uncomfortable? And after we help women understand this, how do we ensure they act upon it and take a class? That’s the hardest part…the action and then the follow-through. When I owned a self-defense studio in New Jersey, we’d have full classes signed up weeks in advance of the class start date, only for half to cancel the day before the first night of the course. Yeah, life gets crazy. But self-defense seems to always fall to the bottom of our to-do lists for so many personal and emotional reasons too.
There isn’t an easy answer for getting this training to women, but I think the women’s self-defense community has to come together, each of us offering our niche speciaities. For example, at Girls Fight Back we have found a niche of providing one-time, 90 minute, live seminars at high schools and colleges using humor and empowerment. While our seminar is intended to be introductory, our message throughout is to sign up for a class in their geographic area. For free, we supply a vast list of women’s self-defense classes around the nation where our audiences can sign up. Is this system perfect? No. Do I wish we could teach each of the 100,000 women I speak in front of each year true down ‘n dirty instruction that could save their life? You bet. But our niche is connecting with young women, making safety and self-defense appear unthreatening and “cool” within their social norms…then providing them with resources to take the next step. It’s just one tiny piece of the big puzzle. What’s you’re niche? And how can we work together to solve this social issue?
As we develop our vision for 2009, keep this mantra in mind: “Know what you are, know what you’re not.” Regardless of what industry you are in, you can never be all things to all people. What makes you different or special? What do you enjoy? What audiences seem to really connect with you? Who do you connect with? Concentrate on them…they are your niche. Once you find them, start partnering with people in other niches, and that’s when real change starts to happen.
Oct
20
CBS Early Show
Filed Under Erin Weed's Blog, Girls Fight Back!, In the News, Safety & Self-Defense, Video | Leave a Comment
Jul
10
Death in Alpha Phi
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I was contacted by my Alpha Phi national headquarters, informing me of an Alpha Phi alum who was murdered in February. Her name was Lindsay Graygo, and she was an A-phi at Penn State. Her sister is also an Alpha Phi at the same campus. A suspect in her murder was recently arrested, and hearings are to begin in July. Wishing all who knew Lindsay any possible peace and comfort right now.
Click here to read a recent article.
Jul
1
Loaded Bow
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Loaded Bow is a new blog focused on women’s entrepreneurship. I was recently interviewed by them, and today the Q&A is published. Topics range from why I started Girls Fight Back, why I love my last name so much and why I always got fired from jobs. Women’s empowerment is so much more than self-defense. It’s living safe, strong, happy, joyful and empowered existences! For many women, they can find this kind of fulfillment through their work, whether it’s working for yourself or someone else. It’s a great passion of mine to help women be successful in whatever they do, and Loaded Bow is a great resource! Click here to read it.
Jun
25
What’s in a website?
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Today my tech guru husband, Pete Lacis, is featured on FoxBusiness.com. In it, he’s interviewed by a life coach Nancy Colasurdo, who is a web client of Pete’s. It talks about how building a website and getting it found on google are becoming increasingly important on the net today.
Read the article here: http://www.foxbusiness.com
Had it not been for Pete and his insistence on me taking Girls Fight Back to the web, I am quite certain we could not have come so far, so quickly. By utilizing the internet to teach and inspire, you simultaneously reach women all over the world. Yesterday we received an email from a woman in India who wanted to attend a Girls Fight Back seminar in Mumbai. We’re not there yet, but we’re workin’ on it!
So hooray for the Internet!
Apr
21
Go Danica!
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In her 50th career IndyCar start, Danica Patrick became the first female winner in IndyCar history this weekend, winning the Indy Japan 300 at Twin Ring Motegi in Motegi, northeast of Tokyo. As women, we need to boost each other up and celebrate every great victory! So hooray for Danica, for crackin’ the glass ceiling just a little bit more.
Mar
28
Vicky & Jen Podcast
Filed Under Erin Weed's Blog, In the News | 1 Comment
Recently I was a guest on the fabulous podcast show, “What Really Matters” with Vicky & Jen. We talked for about 45 minutes on topics ranging from how I started GFB, making peace with your destiny or mission and some safety advice for scary scenarios. We had some great laughs, and I was pretty candid about the ups and downs of my life on the road teaching women to kick ass. Click here to listen.
Mar
9
Cosmopolitan
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Check out the April 2008 issue of Cosmopolitan, page 171 to be exact. There is a feature about Girls Fight Back, in the real-life stories section. A big thanks to Jane, who wrote it. And I have to admit, I’m not a regular Cosmo reader. But damn, there’s some hot-n-steamy stuff in there. Note to self: prevent still unconceived teen daughter from reading it ’till she’s older!
Mar
6
FoxBusiness.com
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Nancy Colasurdo writes the Life Coaching column for FoxBusiness.com, and today published a truly excellent article about my journey with Girls Fight Back. Click here to read it.
Feb
6
Presidential Buzz
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I can honestly say, it’s been refreshing to see and feel the excitement in the air over the decision of who will be our next leader. It’s also nice to see a race and not think to yourself, “I wonder which one is least likely to get us all nuked.” No, this time around there are some good candidates, all running some hard races to Pennsylvania Avenue. And to think that two of the bigger players are bi-racial and female, respectively? That’s pretty damn exciting. At left, you’ll see a new play on the “If they mated” game, originally started on the Conan O’Brien Show. But this time the game is called, “If they simultaneously swapped gender AND race.” The person on the right kinda looks like Val Kilmer, no?
Feb
1
Gavin de Becker on Oprah
Filed Under Erin Weed's Blog, In the News | 1 Comment
Hooray for Oprah Winfrey for dedicating an entire hour to human intuition, and how it can save us. Hooray for Gavin de Becker, threat assessment expert & bestselling author, for doing an entire show about women’s safety WITHOUT trying to scare the shit out of us as an attempt to educate. Gavin was on Oprah’s show earlier this week to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of his book, The Gift of Fear. On the cover it reads, “This book can save your life.” When I first saw the pretty lofty claim before reading it in 2001, I thought it was a marketing ploy. Now it’s the phrase I use when recommending the book to people I meet and care about. But you might be wondering, what’s so great about Gavin, his stellar threat assessment management firm and the book itself? Frankly, that would be a pretty long blog post since I have personally experienced the exceptional training with GdB at their bi-annual Advanced Threat Assessment Academy in California. But if I had to narrow it down, I’d say what makes it most effective is its simplicity. It’s the message that you don’t have to be a black belt ninja to save your own life. Instead, you just need to take note of that little voice inside that says, “Huh. Something just doesn’t feel right.” And instead of ignoring it, taking action or at least examining WHY you feel that way. My mentor of 7 years is Robert J. Martin, the Vice President of Gavin de Becker & Associates. Without Bob, Girls Fight Back never would have been a blip on the radar and I’m eternally grateful for his ongoing guidance. I’m thankful to Gavin and his entire team for making this world a safer place, and for giving the everyday person the credentials to be their own protector. To watch video of the show, click here.
Jan
14
Article in “Works”
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A pretty cool internet article hit the net today at an online magazine called “WORKS by Nicole Williams.” The publication interviews women who have their “dream jobs” and how they attained them, in addition to other great resources for career women. Read it online by clicking here.
Jan
7
Meredith Emerson
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I was incredibly saddened to hear the body of missing Georgia hiker, Meredith Emerson, was found. I know these searches usually have a bad ending, but I always hope for good news anyway. What a gorgeous girl, lost to senseless violence. Imagine going for a hike on New Years Day, and it ending like this. She was probably making resolutions and planning for her future. Meredith is another reminder of how much we have to do to end violence against women in this country. I am wishing Meredith’s loved ones any peace or comfort possible during this very dark time.
Dec
28
Benazir Bhutto
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A great, great loss…for people everywhere…especially women. I have been following her return from self-imposed exhile, and I have found her so inspiring. To know that a lot of people hate you, hate you’re a woman and hate what you stand for. To know that hate could easily lead to your own death, and to make a stir anyway. Now that’s bravery.
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