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Feb
21
AFLV and NACA
Filed Under Public Speaking, Random, Social Entrepreneurship | Leave a Comment
Last week was wild, and I’m just now recovering. First learning point: I can’t run around the the country like I used to! My journey began in St. Louis at the Association of Fraternal Leadership and Values conference, where I was asked to give our new Greeks Fight Back program to fraternity and sorority leaders. It was late on the first day of their arrival, so everyone was a little tired. But it’s amazing how much people perk up when you start throwin’ eye jabs.
While I was at AFLV, I saw some awesome people and good friends. I was especially excited to spend some quality time with my friend and creator of Response Ability, Mike Dilbeck. Response Ability is an exciting new program that addresses bystander behavior of college students. I think his message is incredibly important because it affects most problems facing our campus communities today from drinking to violence to eating disorders. It’s so easy to say “It’s none of my business” and not get involved…Mike challenges that and I really admire the film he produced, and the movement he started as a result of it.
I left St. Louey and flapped my wings to Boston for a big conference I’ve been looking forward to for a very long time. It was the annual convention of the National Association of Campus Activities, and this year I was selected for the lecture showcase. Now I’m not sure how many hundreds or thousands of speakers apply for the 14 coveted slots. All I can tell you is that when I got the news last Fall that I’d been chosen, I was driving and had to pull over on the side of the highway because I was doing the happy-shreik-cry-scream-hyperventilate thing…and it just wasn’t safe for me to be operating a vehicle at that time. So needless to say, this was a big deal and a huge honor. *bow*
NACA is the most glorious little fun-land, time-warp, freak-show circus with some of the most interesting and inspiring people. Case in point, the Lectures Showcase I was part of on Monday morning. Here was the line-up, each of us having 15 minutes to present our program’s most interesting highlights. (Which by the way, is the absolute hardest thing for a speaker to do…especially those of us accustomed to having 90 minutes to yap our trap!) First up was Teri Nicolai, a victim of domestic violence whose ex-husband kidnapped her, sealed her inside a garbage can partially packed with snow and left her in an unheated storage unit. Her miraculous story of survival and strength was so inspiring. Next was Dan Clark, who you may better recognize as “Nitro” from American Gladiators. One of my childhood heroes, me and Nitro became buddies and I’m hoping one day to jaust him. (He was undefeated on the show in this event.) I spoke after Nitro – and what a rush! Over a thousand people in attendance, and so little time – a no-fail formula for sweaty pits. After me, Blake Mycoskie spoke. He’s the founder of Tom’s Shoes and in my opinion, one of the greatest social entrepreneurs of all time! For each pair of Tom’s Shoes you buy, the company donates a pair to a child in need. Genius. After Blake, my dear friends Shawn Decker and Gwenn Barringer took the mic, speaking about their marriage (and sex life) with Shawn being HIV positive (or as he calls it, being a “positoid”) and Gwenn being HIV negative. If you want to read one of the greatest books ever, check out My Pet Virus – written by Shawn. Memoirs about growing up with HIV are not normally described as “hilarious,” this one is. Read it and get ready to pee your pants.
Anyway, there were more speakers but I’ll stop there. You see what I mean – just awesome, inspiring people with messages that can really make this world a better place. It was an honor to be part of it. I was in Boston for about 5 days total, having a blast and working the Girls Fight Back booth along with GFB speaker, Megan. The final night, Megan and I took a picture with another childhood hero of mine, Dennis Haskins – better known as Mr. Belding from “Saved by the Bell.” Way to end this conference on a high note…thumbs up all around!
Nov
18
Speaking is a whole different ball game than teaching a self-defense class, and it should be handled differently for maximum effectiveness. Here are my top 5 tips for SD instructors who are asked to give a speech…
#1: Identify the goal of the speech. Is it to inform? To inspire? To get the audience to sign up for a self-defense course? Begin with the end in mind, and work backwards from there. Sometimes I even write the goal on a little piece of paper and keep it in my pocket during the speech. If I start getting side-tracked, I remember what I wrote and bring the message back to the goal. It’s kinda like yoga class, when you set an intention before starting your practice.
#2: Mirror your audience to some degree. If they are teen girls, they may want a lighter approach, and address the safety issues affecting them (acquaintance rape, peer pressure, dating violence). If they are security professionals, they may want a more hard-core talk (workplace violence, academic studies on violence prevention). But don’t make assumptions about your audience. I highly recommend asking the contact organizing your speaking engagement about background on the audience before you take the mic. (Ideally days or weeks prior, so you can meditate on this.) What you learn may help when deciding which jokes to use, language to avoid, what outfit to wear, etc. Obviously you need to be authentic, and don’t want to be someone you’re not…but studies have shown that audiences connect to speakers who they can relate to.
#3: Honor the time commitment. There’s nothing worse than a speaker who is asked to talk for 15 minutes, and talks for an hour. It’s ignorant and rude, and you’ll totally lose the audience and offend the organizer. More is NOT better in this case.
#4: Have fun! A speech is different than a self-defense class. You gotta keep it light if you want people to connect with the message and take the next steps. Many instructors have incredible training, which can be intimidating to women with no experience. Coming across as too bad-ass could make the attendees walk away thinking, “She was awesome, but I could never do that…” Personally, I don’t find this to be a successful outcome if the goal is motivating women to become their own best protectors. Reminding yourself to have fun also helps calm nerves if you’re feeling jittery.
#5: Always end the speech with “next steps.” It’s such a shame when a great speaker does an excellent job and the audience is all fired up…but they give the people no instructions for how to take the next step. Decide what you can offer the audience and give them clear instructions on how to move forward. (Possible next steps could be: buy a book, take a class, attend a community event, etc.) Whatever you do, give them clear directions. If you can use PowerPoint and have a handout with these steps written out, even better. Many people are visual learners and need to SEE it.
I think having the skill of speaking publicly can only help our cause of ending violence against women. Ellen Snortland once told me the suffragists largely attribute the success of their campaign for a woman’s right to vote to the fact they went on speaking tours to cities across the US. Speaking up = change!
May
11
Crafting a 3 Minute Speech
Filed Under Public Speaking, Random | 1 Comment
A friend recently asked me for advice on writing a speech, to be less than 3 minutes, at the Illinois state capitol about her experience raising her 23-year-old daughter with downs syndrome. No pressure, huh? Here are my top three tips for saying something impactful and leaving your audience wanting to take action in 180 seconds or less.
TIP #1 – SET A GOAL: What is the purpose of this speech? To educate? To inspire? Get funding? To pass a law? No matter who you’re speaking to, or for how long, always begin with the end in mind. On that note, consider stating your goal as the closing line of your speech. Example: “In conclusion, it’s my sincere hope that you will give my daughter’s amazing school for people with disabilities one million dollars.” So many people give great, moving speeches…and totally lose the opportunity to make the audience actually DO something because they never ask!
TIP #2 – USE STORIES: If you can think of a very short, simple yet profound anecdote, people connect with stories much quicker than facts or people just pouring their heart out. They need to understand why they should care. And frankly, you don’t have time to spare elaborating the who, what, when, where and why. A quick story will make the point.
TIP #3 – STAY POSITIVE: Especially when speaking about your own hard-knocks story, getting a law passed or trying to get funding, people in general prefer to help happy people more than complainers. It’s the typical way to go about things…to just bitch and moan. Personally, it’s not my style and I don’t think it accomplishes a goal of change. Inspire them to WANT to help, instead of trying to twist their arm by complaining for what is lacking.
**Note: This summer I’m launching a pretty cool training company for aspiring and professional speakers called Speaker School. Be on the lookout for more blog posts to help people learn how to use their voice for change in this world. Check out our website, follow us on Twitter and sign up for our Newsletter here: http://speakerschool.com
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