Nov
26
Giving Thanks
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This time last year, I was a little freaked out. I was newly pregnant, and started realizing my life was going to change in a big way…both personally and professionally. While I felt grateful for the blessing of a new life, it didn’t change the fact that I wasn’t ready to leap into the abyss of the unknown. But even when you don’t feel prepared, the world keeps on turning. I am thankful for getting tossed out of my comfort zone.
Since Thanksgiving of 2008, many things have happened. We selected and trained a team of amazing speakers (Megan, Michaela, Heather & Jaime) to give Fight Back Productions seminars at schools, colleges and corporations across the country. I found a stellar Marketing Coordinator (Jenn) two incredible Program Directors (Cheryl & Dianna) to arrange these events, in addition to joining forces with the award-winning agency, Bass-Schuler Entertainment. Together we booked the busiest semester to date this past Fall, giving personal safety seminars in over 40 cities. We already have 30 stops on the Spring ‘10 Tour planned, and we’re just getting going. I am thankful for a rock solid team.
This past August I gave birth to my first baby, a little boy named Miles. His entry into this world was awesome, and the past 3 months of learning, growing, adapting and letting go of perfection have been enormous life lessons for me. I am thankful to be someone’s mom.
I’ve always read that kids make life chaotic, but for me, Miles has slowed me down and helped me smell the roses. I’ve relaxed a bit, simply because I had to. I recall a few days after he was born, I was awake most of the night. While feeding him at about 5 am, I looked out the window and noticed the sun was starting to rise. Minutes later it was over, and I realized I hadn’t stopped to watch a sunrise from start to finish in close to a decade. I am thankful that each new day gives me another opportunity to make this life count.
Whether you’re at our table today or somewhere across the globe, I am grateful for you. It’s our first Thanksgiving dinner cooking totally alone, so wish me luck with science experiments like turkey roasting, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and cranberries. And if these dishes end up being a total disaster, I’ll be thankful for Chinese take-out.
Sep
24
A Big Night
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Tonight I know that somewhere, an angel was smiling down upon us. In 3 different states (Ohio, Texas and Virginia) this evening, 3 of my speakers were giving Girls Fight Back seminars. These events took place at Old Dominion University, Baylor University and Ohio State. Wow. To think that a year ago, I was in the thick of my Fall Speaking Tour, living on airplanes and wondering how I could possibly find people to help me expand the company. I was exhausted, over-exposed and stressed. I lay awake many nights knowing I had to seek and train young women to help me conduct the presentations, but how? This seems to be the common thread in companies that grow. Each has a CEO that lays awake wondering how the hell it’s all gonna go down, trying their best to ward off nightly panic attacks…
For me, the fire was lit under my ass to begin this expansion after finding out I was pregnant. Not only did I want to expand our company, but at that point I absolutely had to! Full knowing I’d be out of commission while on maternity leave, the plans began for finding some incredible young women to carry the torch. That was November 2008, and by January 2009 we had speaker applications circulating on the web. They were due in April 2009, and then we had a whirlwind of interviews, video submissions, in-person meetings and finally the GFB Academy in June. That was probably the most inspiring week of my life, because with my own eyes I started to see what was possible.
And here we are today, just 3 months later. Fight Back Productions (the parent company of Girls Fight Back, since we now give seminars for other demographics besides young women) is rockin’ and the speakers are making me proud. Last year at this time, I was jet-setting around the nation, on stage in front of hundreds of people every night and blogging about my wild adventures. What a difference a year makes – Today I was excited to get out of the house and go to Walgreens by myself and get a flu shot. Ah, the joys of new motherhood…but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My life, our company, this mission…we’re all damn blessed.
Check out the Fight Back Blog to read about the events tonight…and maybe some pictures too!
Sep
23
According to Wikipedia, a manifesto is a public declaration of principles and intentions. I intend to do just that, as well as make suggestions on how to fix our damaged state of women’s safety education in the United States today.
My name is Erin Weed, and I’m the founder of Girls Fight Back and CEO of Fight Back Productions. We are a personal safety education company that teaches ordinary people they are capable of extraordinary things in the face of violence. I plunged unexpectedly into the anti-violence movement in the aftermath of my life’s greatest tragedy, the murder of Shannon McNamara, in 2001. For the past 8 years, I’ve been researching, training, writing, speaking, fighting and educating myself and others to become our own best protectors. While that may sound noble, I’m actually writing this manifesto because I’d like to apologize. Because we, the personal safety and self-defense community, have failed you.
- To every woman who ever walked down a city street and looked over her shoulder with fear, and had no action plan if someone was to emerge from the shadows…
- To every teen girl who experienced unwanted or forced sex because she didn’t understand the word “NO” is her right (and also a complete sentence)…
- To every man who has loved a survivor of violence, and awakens in the night to her crying softly, hoping he doesn’t hear…
- To the woman I saw on Oprah today who was the recipient of our country’s first ever face transplant because her husband blew off her face with a shotgun…
- To that woman’s daughter, who had to explain to Mom that falling back into the arms of the man who permanently disfigured and nearly killed her probably wasn’t such a good idea…
- To the women who will never bother to read this because violent things don’t happen in your neighborhood…
To all of you, I’m sorry on behalf of the movement. We don’t offer enough personal safety education, at an early enough age. I’m sorry no one ever taught you how to set boundaries as a pre-teen. There are still child safety ‘experts’ preaching concepts like stranger danger, despite the fact the most likely person to molest a child is someone they know. There aren’t enough reputable self-defense classes available, and virtually no network by which you can find the good ones. Or sometimes you find a great class, but are forced to choose between paying your rent or learning to fight that month. (Rent usually wins.) I apologize we haven’t integrated life saving self-defense education in schools yet, despite useful classes like algebra (sarcasm) being mandatory to graduate. Most self-defense instructors don’t market safety training in a way you can stomach, because we’re so hung up on visual martial arts symbolism like dragons and tigers. (Both of which can eat people, by the way - scary.) I’m sorry you aren’t validated more often that your intuition is correct, without needing to prove it. I wish you were told just how powerful you really are when basic physical techniques merge with an adrenaline dump, instead of being told you’re doing the step-by-step of a pinning situation escape incorrectly.
In Spring 2009 I conducted an anonymous, online survey asking everyday women of all ages, races and geographic locations about their personal safety and self-defense education. It was their responses that spawned this manifesto, after months of their honest and sometimes haunting answers marinating in my brain. I feel it is time to make some declarations about the state of female safety education in this country, or lack thereof. Because of the 136 women who filled out my survey, 64 responded YES to the following question:
Have you ever experienced any sort of crime or assault?
Did you do the math? That’s nearly HALF the respondents who said yes, admitting they have endured a violent act in their lifetime. And given that 86% of the respondents are under age 40, this is not a long lifetime we’re talking about. HALF. Actually, let’s assume it’s more than half since experts say many survivors cannot (or will not) label certain painful life experiences as the crimes they are. It just hurts too much. HALF. I’m sorry, but I can’t get out of my head that every party I’ve ever walked into, half the women sipping martinis in their little black dresses know this pain. Half of the 500,000 people I’ve spoken to in my seminars over the past 8 years understood the violence I spoke of all too well. Sometimes I could see it in their eyes, but many hide their suffering expertly.
So let’s hypothesize, based on my un-scientific survey, that half our female population has endured violence in some form or another. After the blood is gone and the wounds are physically healed, does it still leave a mark in other ways? According to the World Health Organization (2002), victims of sexual assault are:
- 3 times more likely to suffer from depression.
- 6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
- 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
- 26 times more likely to abuse drugs.
- 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.
These shocking statistics beg the question: What greatness have we missed out on from these women? What precious gems of contribution to our society have we been deprived of, all stemming from violence? I suppose we will never know. What I do know is more must be done to eradicate this culture of violence and victimization. Because seriously…HALF? Something is very broken here.
I will admit, there are days when I wish I was the CEO of a company more simple in nature. There’s a great soap store in Boulder that I covet to own, because it seems like a pretty carefree operation to run. What’s a tough decision for that store manager? Lavender or Patchouli? But then I think of this quotation by Hillary Rodham Clinton:
“I’ve often thought that when something is hard for you, whether it’s going to law school or anything else that challenges you, that’s probably what you should do.”
Women’s Safety Manifesto, Part 2 – Coming soon…
Aug
5
Fight Back Productions – New Video
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Message from the August e-Newsletter…
The other night my husband and I went out for Thai food, and had a lovely dinner on the outdoor deck. The sun was setting on a very productive day, and I had gotten many things crossed off my to-do list. At the completion of the meal, our server brought us fortune cookies. And let me tell you – I love fortune cookies. Yes, they taste good, but I’m also a big believer in fate and subtle (or not so subtle) messages that are dropped in our laps. (Or in this case, show up in our food.) I always take my fortune cookie messages very seriously.
This night was no exception. Perhaps with everything going on right now, I built it up more than usual. With the busiest Fall Tour we’ve ever planned starting in September, and our first baby due next week, I am open to all the wisdom I can get. As I cracked the cookie in half with nervous trepidation, I hoped it would rock my world. And it said…
“About time I got out of that cookie.”
Really? A fortune cookie with a sense of humor? How fitting. And that’s when I knew this is the message I needed most. To relax, to live, to laugh…and to trust in the simple idea that everything is alright in good time.
Because things over here are better than alright…let me bring you up to speed on a few things. First off, in June I trained a team of incredible speakers who will be carrying out all presentations this Fall while I’m on maternity leave. You can meet them all by watching this brand new video on YouTube.
Second, you probably noticed we changed our official name to Fight Back Productions. This came about as customers began asking for educational programs for female employees (Women Fight Back) and for mixed gender audiences at colleges (Students Fight Back). It was time to develop a larger umbrella organization beyond Girls Fight Back that would be the home for all our educational programs. And so it was…
Third, we are currently planning our biggest and busiest Fall Tour to date. Please see the tour stops at right to see if we’re coming to a city near you. If your school, college or business would like to book a stop on the tour, we offer discounts if you book when our speakers are in your area. And if you work for a business that might be interested in becoming a tour sponsor, please contact us for an info packet.
So that’s the scoop! Until next time…I’m sending you simple joys and lots of good fortune.
Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.
Jul
13
Nesting
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Only 4 weeks to go until my baby arrives, and I’ve been nesting up a storm! By reading that, you’d assume I’ve been busy cleaning the bathroom tile with a toothbrush or painting the baby’s room. Not so. I’m finding there is another kind of nesting for female business owners that I call “Business Nesting.” Let me tell you, the cleaning can wait and the garage re-organization project may fall in the “things to do next year” category. The baby furniture will get assembled…eventually. But creating marketing materials and talking to sponsors for the upcoming Fall Tour and designing our public relations strategy and planning events around the USA and making sure my new Speakers and Sales Reps are ready to rock…well that can’t wait!
These past few months of training and creating systems for the future of Fight Back Productions has been one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done. It’s pushed me way beyond my comfort zone, in a good way. While the final trimester of pregnancy brings on a whole slew of physical ailments from bladder overdrive to acid reflux, the excitement of building a company to be bigger than myself has kept me going. And when people tell me to slow down, it’s hard…just because I’m having so much fun.
Maybe this makes me some sort of freak, but I have to say, just thinking about a world with more education about personal safety and self-defense thrills me and my staff. Our approach is fresh, new and different than anything you’ve ever seen in regards to personal safety education. As John F. Kennedy once said: “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” The upcoming Fall ‘09 Tour will reveal a whole new layer to our company vision, and it’s going to be new and awesome and better than ever. Just wanted to post and say STAY TUNED for some good stuff…
Jun
12
8 Years
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It was 8 years ago today that Shannon McNamara was murdered. Since that day, so many of us were never the same again. In years past, I have dreaded this day. I’d feel anxiety for weeks before, accompanied by a dark depression for weeks afterward. Once we got past Shannon’s birthday on June 21st I’d start to feel better, and was normally back to my old self by 4th of July. But for the most part over the past 8 years, the entire month of June was dedicated to sleeping and crying and being pretty much a dark, sloppy mess.
But this year, things are different. There is too much light shining right now to let the darkness in. This year on this significant day, I still want to cry – but it’s happy tears because I have so much hope. This year I have a baby in my belly about 9 weeks from hatching. This year I have a team of 12 people working for Fight Back Productions. (Which encompasses Girls Fight Back, Students Fight Back and Women Fight Back – more on those coming soon…) This year, we will reach more people than ever with our message that each person in this world is WORTH FIGHTING FOR. And despite this being the hardest I have ever worked to make it all possible, I’m also sleeping more peacefully knowing that massive, global change is underway.
Next week I’ll be posting photos and videos of the incredible, first-ever Girls Fight Back Academy and I will introduce you to the marvelous women who will be representing us going forward. But for now, I just wanted to say that Shannon would be so proud of everything that has happened in her memory. She would be grateful that so many people are learning to prevent and fight back against the very situation that ended her life. She would be at peace knowing her short 21 years on this earth have left an eternity of change beyond her departure.
So I will leave you with this ancient Maori Proverb: “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”
Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.
Erin Weed
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