Weed Feed
Jan
31
Stalking Awareness Month
Filed Under Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 5 Comments
January is Stalking Awareness Month, and a great website with tools, quizzes and resources is now available if this is something you are dealing with. I especially love their guidelines on how to create a Safety Plan. Visit the website by clicking here – and help spread the word too! http://stalkingawarenessmonth.org
Stalking is downright scary, and I know this on a very personal level. It can make a person feel powerless, cause acute anxiety and feel totally out of control. Please understand that each situation is different, and you need specific management of your individual case before deciding on any one course of action. Reach out for help, and don’t deal with this on your own. Here are 5 ideas to get you started…
#1: Acknowledge the situation for what it is. Might sound easy, but many people who are being stalked refuse to accept that the word STALK is appropriate. According to Safe Horizon, New York law defines stalking as a pattern of intentional, repeated, and unwanted behavior causing a person to fear for his/her own safety. A stalker can be anyone – a stranger, a relative or anywhere in between.
#2: Know the law. To find out the exact definition of stalking and possible ways to respond, know the laws in your state. Visit the Stalking Resource Center at The National Center for Victims of Crime website by clicking here.
#3: Read a book called “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. By far, this is the best book I’ve read about intuition, de-escalating potentially violent scenarios and understanding the motives of people who pursue others inappropriately. Click here to buy it.
#4: Call the Stalking Hotline. Someone from Safe Horizon is available to speak with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call toll free: 866.689.HELP (4357). Check out their website by clicking here.
#5: Take a self-defense class. Hopefully the steps above prevent you from having to physically save yourself. However, the skills you learn in a good self-defense class are much bigger than learning to do an eye jab. Great classes will also teach you to recognize the signs of a violent person, how to use your intuition, ways to de-escalate bad situations and how to fight back if necessary. I especially recommend classes by IMPACT and FAST Defense.
I hope this helps…stay safe!
Apr
13
Ellen Snortland
Filed Under Girls Fight Back!, Random, Safety & Self-Defense | 1 Comment
A few days ago I was chatting with my friend Ellen Snortland on the phone. Ellen is a speaker, author, actress, on the Board for Impact Safety in California and one of the first women to write a book about women’s self-defense. She and I were discussing many things, but one thing that struck me was a story she shared about women suffragists. Ellen is quite the women’s history buff, and she told me that public speaking was one of the most effective tools the suffragists used to lobby for a woman’s right to vote. Specifically these speakers went on speaking tours, focusing on less populated cities in the Midwest to spread the message of their campaign. I’ve always found public speaking to be very effective in communicating with women across the U.S. and it reaffirmed my belief that more of us need to get out there, grab a mic and share our stories and knowledge with one another. After researching this, I found that Susan B. Anthony specifically was an incredible speaker and was the movement’s unofficial spokeswoman.
But back to Ellen – Since I became involved in women’s self-defense back in 2001 I’ve had a few permanent books on my desk. As Girls Fight Back evolves, I turn to these old faithfuls to ground me in what ideals this company was built upon. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker is always a great reminder that each of us can (and should) trust our intuition when it comes to safety, relationships, life and business. The other book I always seem to turn to is Ellen’s book, Beauty Bites Beast. She recently returned from Brazil, where her book was just released in Portuguese! (See the YouTube video above, which is a film project based on Ellen’s book.)
People like Ellen, Eve Ensler and Lee Sinclair are so inspiring to me, because they are the leading the charge to make women’s safety education and self-defense a global issue. Yes, we have overwhelming problems with violence right here in our own back yards. But in countries where goats are more valuable than women, you can only imagine how much work we have ahead of us globally. Cheers for girl power everywhere!
Dec
16
Holiday shopping safety tips
Filed Under Random, Safety & Self-Defense | Leave a Comment
This morning I was supposed to be a guest on DC/Maryland’s morning talk show for WMZQ-FM…a country station. After getting up at 6 am to be ready for the interview (and not sound like a toad) they blew me off. Alas, this little stunt has furthered my disdain for country music. (I take sleep quite seriously.) We were supposed to discuss holiday shopping safety tips (which I find to be a very timely and important subject), so I will share them here…
The first thing we must take into consideration when it comes to personal security while shopping is the fact it creates opportunity for bad guys. Large crowds of stressed out people who are multi-tasking and on deadline = not aware. The situation overall, compounded by our stress can be a ideal scenario for crime. That being said, living consciously is a choice. We can choose to get caught up in the holiday mayhem or choose to stop, breathe and focus on the moment. And when we are present, we are usually safer. So with that understanding, here are my holiday shopping safety tips:
1. Acknowledge violence can happen. Knowing it’s a real threat will motivate you to develop real protocol to combat it.
2. Trust your intuition. It won’t let you down, especially when approached by people you don’t know in situations like parking lots. Need a refresher on the topic? Read The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. Even better, buy this book for someone you love.
3. Be a “bad victim” by making yourself seem like an unattractive target for holiday crime. Examples:
-Try to shop in pairs or groups, but know it’s your right to also shop alone – have a safety plan!
-Avoid tucked away restrooms at malls, or any remote place for that matter
-Being bogged down by 10 shopping bags will hamper your ability to defend yourself – lighten your load
-Don’t feel silly about asking mall security to walk you to your car
-But just because someone is wearing a uniform doesn’t mean they are harmless. Trust your intuition.
-In parking lots, have your keys out, walk with intention and be ready to fight with keys if necessary
-Keep your children close, and practice what to do if you get separated (arrange a meeting spot)
-Be careful about giving your credit card information to non-secure online shopping sites
Finally, there’s just no substitute for being your own best protector…learn to fight back! You can join the Girls Fight Back website for FREE and find a women’s self-defense class near you. Many schools also sell gift certificates. Consider buying one for a woman you love as a holiday gift.
Be merry and safe this holiday season!
Jun
12
Seven Years
Filed Under Random | 6 Comments
Seven years ago today, one of my most amazing friends was murdered. As I write this, I’m sitting at a cafe in New York City…the same place where Girls Fight Back was born.
I would say “it seems like just yesterday” if I didn’t hate that cliché so much. Life has a funny way of flying by, and even when years have flown off the calendar, we’re sometimes left feeling unprepared, overwhelmed by time and incredulous of all that can happen in any given time period. When time flies, maybe we’re not living in the now, and we’re missing out on the best part of life. You know, the stuff that was occurring as you took that last inhale…
But I get why people say it, and I find myself wanting to use that cliché since today is a sad milestone. It was on June 12, 2001 when Shannon McNamara was killed at Eastern Illinois University. I have made that statement to over half a million people by this point. And you know what? Some days I think it has been easier to accept and say. Other days it seems more difficult. But it’s never seemed normal or right or fair, despite my best efforts to come to terms with it.
Seven years without Shannon. I woke up this morning at my in-law’s home in New Jersey. I shut off the alarm clock and sat up in bed. And the first thing I thought to myself was, “I’ve been fighting for seven years.” I didn’t think it so much as a good or bad thing. It’s just how it’s been.
Lately I’ve been thinking about why women seek or avoid learning about self-defense and personal safety. I’ve been asking women from all walks of life to understand what’s holding us back. I mean, why wouldn’t any of us want to know how to save our own life? And recently it has become somewhat clear. Perhaps more women are interested in seeking peace than fighting back. Why go to a self-defense class and get verbally assaulted and pinned by a mock assailant when you can take a yoga class instead? Why choose to put ourselves in staged (yet scary) situations that all of us dread and go to great lengths to avoid? I mean, after a day of work and kids and bills and life…doesn’t a glass of wine sound a tad more soothing than fighting off a padded attacker with a palm strike?
And after seven years of fighting, I’m wondering if a piece of the puzzle has been missing in my quest to teach women to lead strong and empowered lives. Just as yin has yang, and peanut butter has jelly, and Donnie has Marie. Maybe in the chaos of violence happening in our world today we must balance it with serenity. Several years ago my dear mentor, Bob Martin of Gavin de Becker & Associates, asked me a question. He inquired, “Why do women come to see Girls Fight Back seminars?” I told him that women simply want to know how to protect themselves. But he disagreed and said, “Women aren’t there to fight back. They just want to feel safe again.”
Bob is right. I know this from the eyes of countless women in my audiences over the years with that pleading look in their eyes. Almost as if to say, “Please tell me something that will make this pain stop. Please help me get my peace back. Please assure me it won’t happen again. Please say that my daughter will be safe at college. Please tell me there’s something I can do in case my boyfriend isn’t there to save me.”
I have told you in previous newsletters and blogs that I’m making a documentary. This coming Tuesday, June 17th we’re shooting a live seminar at Comcast Studios in Denver. Much of this footage will be used in the documentary, although I’m not totally sure of the film outcome. I’m taking my good friend Angela Shelton’s advice in just shooting it, and the story will tell itself. Lately I’m thinking there is a new chapter coming for Girls Fight Back. Maybe this movement is more significant than girl power or an effective eye jab. Maybe this eighth year will bring a more whole, peaceful, full-circle approach to women’s empowerment. Maybe there is more breathing and more silence. Maybe there is forgiveness.
This past week, a perky blue and orange sparrow has been spending a lot of time on my window sill. I’ve never seen a bird stare into someone’s house for hours on end the way he does. So much so, that my husband and I call him “Peeping Tom.” He’s so cute, and I find myself constantly checking the window to see if he’s there. Is it weird to believe that there are angels everywhere, looking in on you in their own little way? Many people who receive this newsletter knew Shannon, and June can be a hard time for you. So consider this note a virtual little Peeping Tom…just coming by to say hello, make you smile and serve as a reminder that each moment brings new meaning to the life we already have.
Strong. Resilient. Spirited. Unified.
Erin Weed
May
16
Tony Blauer
Filed Under Random | Leave a Comment
Many people ask me, “What is the best kind of self-defense training?” Really, there is a lot of good stuff out there, and it’s sad how much of the self-defense industry just hates on each other. I mean, shouldn’t we all be suporting each other? Aren’t we all working towards the same goal to end violence and teach people to fight back? Anyways, the training I most enjoy is the real-world, studied, proven and tested methods of how a real fight or attack goes down. Martial arts is cool and a good work-out, but I’ve always preferred the grittier stuff like Krav Maga or IMPACT courses with the Bullet Man suits. There’s a lot of material out there which looks cool and seems to make sense for use in a violent confrontation. But add in some adrenaline, fear and all the physiological things that happen in a human body in these situations, and you have a whole other ball game. Through my mentor Bob Martin at Gavin de Becker and Associates, I was introduced to my friend Tony Blauer. In my opinion, he’s one of the best minds and fighters in the self-defense industry. He’s having a training camp in Virginia Beach, VA this August and I will be there. Any of my GFB peeps interested in joining me for a weekend o’ whoop-ass? Click here to read about the camp, and click here to read about Tony’s approach and philosophy. Holla at me if you’re interested in learning more.
Feb
1
Hooray for Oprah Winfrey for dedicating an entire hour to human intuition, and how it can save us. Hooray for Gavin de Becker, threat assessment expert & bestselling author, for doing an entire show about women’s safety WITHOUT trying to scare the shit out of us as an attempt to educate. Gavin was on Oprah’s show earlier this week to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of his book, The Gift of Fear. On the cover it reads, “This book can save your life.” When I first saw the pretty lofty claim before reading it in 2001, I thought it was a marketing ploy. Now it’s the phrase I use when recommending the book to people I meet and care about. But you might be wondering, what’s so great about Gavin, his stellar threat assessment management firm and the book itself? Frankly, that would be a pretty long blog post since I have personally experienced the exceptional training with GdB at their bi-annual Advanced Threat Assessment Academy in California. But if I had to narrow it down, I’d say what makes it most effective is its simplicity. It’s the message that you don’t have to be a black belt ninja to save your own life. Instead, you just need to take note of that little voice inside that says, “Huh. Something just doesn’t feel right.” And instead of ignoring it, taking action or at least examining WHY you feel that way. My mentor of 7 years is Robert J. Martin, the Vice President of Gavin de Becker & Associates. Without Bob, Girls Fight Back never would have been a blip on the radar and I’m eternally grateful for his ongoing guidance. I’m thankful to Gavin and his entire team for making this world a safer place, and for giving the everyday person the credentials to be their own protector. To watch video of the show, click here.
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